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Has Brian Pillman Jr. Defected from AEW to WWE?

Comrade Brian Pillman Jr. seen at WWE Performance Center! A defection from AEW or mere misdirection? Join your El Presidente for seismic wrestling rumors!

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Salutations, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the premier in-house spa at the heart of my magnificent golden palace, assuming that the American CIA hasn't yet located me. I offer you a reward of the finest Cuban cigars if one manages to find me before them. But we are not here to talk about me, comrades, we are here to talk about Brian Pillman Jr.

Thunder Rosa Cosplays X-23 on Very Marvel Episode of AEW Dynamite
Brian Pillman Jr. wears a Venom: Lethal Protector t-shirt at AEW Dynamite: New Years Smash [Photo credit: All Elite Wrestling]
Today, we traverse the chaotic world of wrestling, where the maneuvering of muscle-bound men sparks more drama than my last heated argument with Michael Bay over the realistic portrayal of explosive action scenes in his films. Yes, Comrades, even Hollywood directors consult El Presidente for advice, and with the SAG-AFTRA strike (stick it to the man, Fran!), perhaps they will rely on me to write and star in all their films as well! Today's wrestling whispers come courtesy of Comrade Dave Meltzer, hailing from the capitalistic exploitation emporium known as the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.

Our topic of debate is none other than the erstwhile warrior of AEW, Brian Pillman Jr., who like an illusive Che Guevara, has evaded the public eye, sparking rampant speculation about his resettlement to the borderlands held by WWE. Meltzer, our harbinger of wrestling winds, has spotted Pillman at the hallowed WWE Performance Center, potentially signaling a shift in alliance even more scandalous than when Fidel Castro caught me watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians without him. Haw haw haw haw!

Pillman has not graced the AEW stage for some time. His unexpected absence has fanned the flames of conspiracy, reminiscent of when the CIA inexplicably accused me of harboring the Loch Ness Monster on my private island. The rumors reached boiling point when our loyal comrade mysteriously vanished from the AEW roster page on their capitalist cybernet. If this was a game of chess, one would say he's in check.

However, as judicious as Kim Jong Un at an all-you-can-eat buffet, we should not jump to conclusions. Nothing in the wrestling landscape is as straightforward as a sumo wrestler's diet. This may just be the calm before the storm, a storm more tumultuous than the time Xi Jingping and I binge-watched all seasons of The Bachelor.

It seems our journey through the twisting luchador labyrinth has only just begun, much like the world's inevitable journey to the warm and loving embrace of socialism. As we wait in bated breath for an official announcement, be sure to stay tuned, comrades. El Presidente will stay vigilant in the shadows, always ready to emerge with wrestling news hotter than the private sauna in my secret penthouse suite at Trump Tower. It's located above the regular penthouse, and its toilets are covered in even more gold plating. Remember, solidarity is strength, wrestling is life, and El Presidente is always watching – or at least when I'm not practicing my tag team moves with Vladimir Putin. Adiós!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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