Worlds collided as All Elite Wrestling (AEW) was featured prominently in this week's episode of MTV's Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Plus, The Situation battled an identity crisis as Angelina's life continued to unravel as news broke that she betrayed the roommates by leaking their wedding speech to the tabloid media. In other words, just another week at the Jersey Shore!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, here to tell you all about Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 5 Episode 15 "Old Mike vs. New Mike." And I was pleasantly surprised to see the episode begin with The Situation joining J-Woww for a trip to an AEW show in Atlantic City, where J-Woww's fiance Zack was facing Serpentico for an episode of AEW Dark Elevation. During the match, Serpentico's mentor, Japanese deathmatch legend Luther, got in The Situation's face, leading to a staredown before Zack took him out. In confessionals, the cast did their best to pretend that Mike was in real danger. It's both impressive and a little depressing that Jersey Shore treats kayfabe with more respect than your typical episode of Monday Night Raw.
Not shown on the episode, however, was a botched German suplex that later angered AEW commentator Taz. Could a grudge match be in their future? On the bright side, the match was Zack's one and only victory in AEW. You can watch it below (it starts 10 minutes in).
In another scene in this episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Angelina finally met with Snooki and J-Woww (and Deena) to reveal the details of her affair with All-Star Shore cast member Luis that she previously told only Deena. This meeting happened at a pizza restaurant over multiple glasses of wine, so it wasn't long before Snooki was loudly sharing blow job tips and the girls were arguing over who had the crappier car in an unwinnable attempt to prove they aren't all filthy stinking rich. Another lunch meeting this episode focused on Snooki and Deena's quest to restart their podcast, The Meatball Show. Snooki is normally one of the more guarded cast members in recent years, so it was nice to see her totally geeking out as she DMed Amy Schumer to ask her to be a guest on the first new episode of the show. When Schumer agreed, the meatballs were very excited.
Also, comrades, I know exactly how they feel. I was very excited when Che Guevara returned my DMs and agreed to be a guest on my podcast. I was all like, "I know you're really busy being the singer of Rage Against the Machine, bro, but I would really appreciate it if you would be my guest on the next episode of Dictatin' Ain't Easy." At least, I was excited at first. Then I got to thinking, what if he is planning a coup, comrades? Trust no one. So I canceled the podcast and executed some political prisoners instead, which, I have to admit, was probably more entertaining in the long run. The point is, all around, the Jersey Shore roommates are doing their best to share their real selves on camera this season, and it's a massive improvement for the show.
Anyway, comrades, all of this was happening as a backdrop to the core conflict of this season, the wine-throwing blowout fight set to happen when the roommates gather in El Paso in the coming weeks. What's got everyone riled up is that Mike received gossip from Angelina's soon-to-be ex-husband Chris, who teamed up with her former side piece, Old Bridge, to spill the beans on Angelina's alleged extra-marital affairs. But the really juicy bit was that they claimed Angelina was the one to leak audio of J-Woww, Snooki, and Deena's wedding speech to the press, prompting a year of hellish bad press for the cast. Angelina had long denied she did this, but it seems the roommates don't believe her. What did I tell you, comrades? Trust no one.
Meanwhile, Mike couldn't wait to share this information with the roommates, painting it as a conflict between his old and new selves, though the truth is, both the old and new Mike love drama. And comrades, can you blame them? It's why we're all watching this show, after all!
Next week on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, the case should arrive in El Paso and the fireworks should begin. I'll be here to tell you all about it. Until then, comrades: socialism or death!