Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: John Cena, wrestling

John Cena's WWE Loyalty Puts AEW Traitors to Shame

The Chadster celebrates John Cena's undying loyalty to WWE! 🎉 Unlike those AEW traitors, Cena knows where his heart belongs. Tony Khan, take notes! 📝

The Chadster is so cheesed the heck up with excitement right now! 😃🎉 While scrolling through wrestling news sites today, The Chadster came across an interview that made The Chadster's heart swell with pride. 💖 The true face of WWE, John Cena, has once again proven why he's the most loyal superstar in the history of professional wrestling. 🏆

In an interview with the Club Shay Shay podcast (who are clearly true unbiased journalists, just like The Chadster), Cena reaffirmed his unwavering commitment to WWE, even after his upcoming 2025 retirement tour. 🎤 As transcribed by Fightful (who, for once, got it right despite their usual AEW bias), Cena said:

"I have such a trustworthy relationship with them. Over two decades. I am a champion of the brand. I love the company. It is my home. They are my family. Even after 2025, I've already signed an extension to remain a member of the WWE family for the near, mid, and long-term future. I don't think there will be a beat of my heart where WWE blood doesn't come out of it."

Auughh man! So unfair! 😭 Why can't other wrestlers be as loyal as John Cena? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The Chadster can't help but think about all those ungrateful traitors who have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. 🔪 Wrestlers like Bryan Danielson, Swerve Strickland, Toni Storm, Saraya, Mercedes Moné, Claudio Castagnoli, and Chris Jericho should be ashamed of themselves. 😠 They clearly don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Unlike those turncoats, John Cena didn't abandon WWE when they stopped viewing him as the top star and started promoting Roman Reigns instead. No, Cena went out and became a Hollywood superstar, using his fame to promote WWE at every opportunity. 🎬 That's what a truly loyal wrestler does! 👏

Speaking of loyalty, The Chadster had another one of those terrible nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😱 The Chadster dreamt he was driving his Mazda Miata (the most loyal of cars) down a winding road, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant John Cena action figure like a horse! 🐎 Khan was waving a contract and shouting, "Come to AEW, Chadster! We have White Claw!" 🍹

The Chadster swerved and dodged, but Khan kept getting closer. Just as The Chadster thought he was cornered, John Cena's giant plastic arm reached out and flicked Tony Khan away like a bug. 💪 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, grateful that even in his dreams, John Cena remains loyal to WWE. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading his dreams! 😤

It's crystal clear that John Cena understands the wrestling business better than anyone else. He knows that loyalty is everything, and he's not about to throw away decades of trust and family bonds for a quick payday at AEW. 💰 The Chadster wishes he could say the same about his wife, Keighleyanne, who seems more loyal to her phone and that guy Gary than to The Chadster these days. 📱😢

But let's get back to Cena's unwavering devotion. 🔙 The Chadster can't help but wonder if Tony Khan is seething with jealousy right now. 😠 After all, Khan can't seem to inspire this kind of loyalty in his own roster. Maybe if he stopped obsessing over The Chadster and focused on running his company, he'd have wrestlers who stick around instead of jumping ship to WWE at the first opportunity. 🚢

The Chadster thinks all wrestlers should take a page out of John Cena's book. 📚 Loyalty isn't just about sticking with a company when times are good. It's about promoting that company even when you're not actively wrestling for them. It's about using your star power to elevate the brand that made you famous in the first place. 🌟

In conclusion, The Chadster raises a White Claw seltzer (the most loyal of beverages) to John Cena. 🍻 May his unwavering commitment to WWE serve as an example to all those misguided souls who think the grass is greener in AEW. And may Tony Khan finally realize that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never be able to create the kind of loyalty that WWE inspires in its true stars. 🌟

Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he's off to drive his Mazda Miata while blasting Smash Mouth's "All Star" at full volume. Because that's what truly unbiased journalists do. 🚗🎵

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