Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Revolution, recaps, wrestling

Jon Moxley Retains at AEW Revolution and The Chadster Pays the Price

The Chadster reports from jail after Jon Moxley's controversial title retention at AEW Revolution caused The Chadster to drink 25 White Claws and crash a police station! 😤🚔

The Chadster is reporting from jail right now 😡 because Tony Khan and his AEW cronies have once again LITERALLY STABBED TRIPLE H RIGHT IN THE BACK with their so-called wrestling show! 🤬 The Chadster had to suffer through watching AEW Revolution end with the most ridiculous main event The Chadster has ever seen, and now The Chadster is paying the price for Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life! 💔

In the main event of AEW Revolution, Jon Moxley retained the AEW World Championship without even properly pinning Adam Copeland! 😤 Can you believe this garbage? Instead of having a nice, clean finish like WWE would have given the fans, Tony Khan had to cheese everyone off with interference from Wheeler Yuta, Jay White, and Christian Cage trying to cash in his AEW Title shot with a knockoff Money in the Bank contract! 🙄

Then Moxley won by making Christian pass out in a submission hold! AUUGHH MAN! SO UNFAIR! 😭 That's not how championship matches are supposed to end! In WWE, championships are defended with dignity and respect for the business, not with all this chaos and confusion that Tony Khan seems to think is entertaining! 🤮

The Chadster doesn't even want to get into all the gory details of the match, but suffice it to say there was concrete floor spots, chair teases, and even more interference after the match when Swerve Strickland attacked Moxley to set up the next title program. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔

Let The Chadster quote what Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week: "AEW needs to stop doing these overbooked finishes and just have clean pins like WWE does. I'm only saying this because I care deeply about AEW's success and not at all because I'm hoping WWE will hire me again." See? Even Eric Bischoff agrees with The Chadster! 📝

But The Chadster needs to explain what happened after The Chadster's last report. 😠 So after Kenny Omega won the International Championship earlier in the night, The Chadster was so upset that The Chadster might have borrowed an ambulance from the hospital to protest Tony Khan's booking. The police, who are OBVIOUSLY on Tony Khan's payroll, tried to say The Chadster was "stealing" and "endangering lives" or whatever. 🙄

They let The Chadster go with a warning as long as The Chadster promised to go home and not drink any more White Claws. 🥺 But The Chadster isn't going to listen to some cops that are doing Tony Khan's bidding! So The Chadster drank twenty-five White Claws while watching the end of AEW Revolution. 🍹🍹🍹

When Moxley retained the title in that horrible way, The Chadster was so cheesed off that The Chadster jumped into the Mazda Miata (which The Chadster had just waxed yesterday, by the way) and drove straight to the police station! 🚗💨 The Chadster demanded that the officers let The Chadster file a report against them for anti-WWE bias! 📋

Now The Chadster is being told The Chadster has to spend the night in jail! Can you believe that?! 😭 The worst part is that Keighleyanne is blaming The Chadster for all of this! When The Chadster called her to come post bail, she just sighed and said, "Chad, you drove to a police station drunk to complain about a wrestling show. This is your fault." 😡

Keighleyanne just doesn't understand that this is CLEARLY Tony Khan's fault! If Tony Khan would book normal wrestling matches like WWE does, The Chadster wouldn't have to drink so many White Claws or commandeer emergency vehicles! 🚑 Now she's probably texting that guy Gary about The Chadster's "behavior issues" again. Ugh! Tony Khan has ruined The Chadster's marriage too! 💔

And The Chadster hasn't even mentioned the steel cage match between Will Ospreay and Kyle Fletcher that happened before the main event! 🙄 It was full of blood, violence, and spectacular high-flying maneuvers – all of which have ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE in professional wrestling! 🤮 The Chadster had to throw a White Claw at the TV when Ospreay did some flippy move off the top of the cage! That's not wrestling, that's just gymnastics! 😤

The Chadster wants to thank all the true fans for sticking with Bleeding Cool's coverage of AEW Revolution all night. 🙏 The Chadster knows those true fans want the unbiased truth, not AEW-tainted propaganda like you get on other websites. The Chadster is possibly the only unbiased journalist in wrestling today, and The Chadster has the prison record to prove it! 📝

The Chadster would write more, but the police officer is saying The Chadster's phone time is up. 📱 Just remember, as Smash Mouth once said, "Hey now, you're an all-star," and Tony Khan is definitely NOT an all-star for what he's done to The Chadster tonight! 🌟

Tony Khan, The Chadster will see you in court! 👨‍⚖️

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