Lucha Brothers vs. Chaos Project, 13 More Matches Set for AEW Dark

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from Lauren Boehbert's handbag. That is right, your El Presidente has once again used his shrink ray, this time to hide inside Boehbert's handbag in order to infiltrate Congress. Since she refuses to let the police see what she's hiding in there and insists on walking around the metal detectors, El Presidente is safe to sneak into the House of Representatives and plant whoopee cushions on the chairs of all Republicans. They are all going to seem like they are farting, comrades! Haw haw haw haw! But before I execute my master plan, AEW has revealed the full lineup for next week's episode of AEW Dark, airing on YouTube at 7PM Eastern on Tuesday.

Here's what to expect from Tuesday's episode:

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!