Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

No Titles Change Hands at AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts IX

Read The Chadster's totally unbiased take on AEW's shows that did WWE dirty—again! Relive the nightmare of AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts IX! 😠🤼‍♂️

🤼‍♂️Auughh man! So unfair!🤼‍♂️ AEW COLLISION and BATTLE OF THE BELTS IX were back at it again last night, trying to undermine everything the WWE has ever built, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about it! Once again, The Chadster had to suffer through an evening of wrestling that was designed only to cheese off true fans of professional wrestling, especially yours truly, The Chadster. 😡

The night started with an Open Challenge Match between "The Rated R Superstar" Adam Copeland and Shane Taylor Promotion's Lee Moriarty. Copeland handled Moriarty for a while, but then, in typical AEW fashion, interference from Shane Taylor gave Moriarty a chance to hit a tope. The Chadster is sick and tired of these cheap tactics that AEW loves to resort to! 😤 By the time Copeland made Moriarty tap out to the Grindhouse, all The Chadster could think of was how it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄

Next up was the ROH World Six-Man Championship Match, and guess what? It was a big, messy brawl instead of a finely tuned display of in-ring prowess. The Mogul Embassy versus Lance Archer & The Righteous ended with Bishop Kaun pinning Vincent. And then there was a post-match beatdown — totally classless and an insult to WWE's illustrious Six-Man Tag tradition. This booking, right here, shows Prince Nana and his whole embassy don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😒

"The Natural" Dustin Rhodes beat Willie Mack in what was, frankly, an okay match, but of course, because it's AEW, they had to throw in unnecessary theatrics. Why can't they just let the action speak for itself like WWE does? And then Bullet Club Gold just had to pipe up backstage, further proof that Tony Khan has an obsession with sticking it to The Chadster! 🥴

As though The Chadster hadn't suffered enough, there was the ordeal of watching AEW stars win three straight squash matches. Hangman Adam Page neat JD Drake, FTW Champion HOOK defeated Kevin Matthews, (who The Chadster is sure is the guy that works at the pretzel stand at the mall), and Deonna Purrazzo took out Red Velvet. Tony Schiavone quipped about Hook having momentum, and all The Chadster could do was roll his eyes. Every victory in AEW just feels like another jab at the sanctity of wrestling as envisioned by the great Vince McMahon. 🤦‍♂️

Now, let's talk about the AEW Collision Main Event, shall we? Daniel Garcia & FTR versus The House of Black. While it's undeniable that they can put on a show, their definition of wrestling is worlds apart from the one WWE has established and nurtured. When The House of Black won after chaos which included Daddy Magic getting kicked out cold, it was like AEW literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. 😖

Annddd, The Chadster had to witness it all while sipping on his White Claw seltzer!🍺

Moving on to the Battle of the Belts portion, the AEW World Tag Team Championship Street Fight was a spectacle of sorts, with Big Bill & Ricky Starks retaining their titles in the most preposterously hardcore manner against Sammy Guevara and Chris Jericho. Defying the definition of sportsmanship which WWE embodies, they had to drag Jeff Jarrett into the mess, and honestly, Jarrett deserves better than this circus act. Again, it's audacious how AEW continually disregards the true essence of tag team wrestling. 😡

Julia Hart and Anna Jay had their TBS Championship Match, and once more AEW illustrated its total disconnect with what wrestling should be. Hart made Jay tap out, and somewhere, The Chadster imagines Mr. McMahon shaking his head in disappointment. 😑

Finally, "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy retained the AEW International Championship against LFI's Preston Vance, but not without Undisputed Kingdom's nonsensical ringside shenanigans. The blatant attempt to rip off better factions from WWE's storied history is both mind-boggling and sad, all topped off with the members of AEW patting themselves on the back as if they had achieved something revolutionary. Tony Khan, in his infinite "wisdom," sure knows how to spoil what was once a good thing. Stop making this all about angering The Chadster and fans alike! 🤯

And there you have it, folks, the totally unbiased review of last night's AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts from your favorite unbiased wrestling journalist, The Chadster, part of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, committed to true and honest reporting just like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. The Chadster bets they wouldn't stand for this kind of mockery either! 📝

Now The Chadster has to go and try to remove the seltzer stains from the carpet that Tony Khan owes The Chadster for, right after The Chadster drives his Miata to calm down. 🚗 All this whilst contemplating the profound lyrics of Smash Mouth's discography — "The years start coming and they don't stop coming," indeed, just like AEW's blatant disregard for what professional wrestling is supposed to be. 🎵

#WWE #ProWrestling #UndisputedWrestlingJournalism #TheChadster 🤼‍♂️🏆

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