Retribution's Slapjack Defends Name Despite Filthy Meaning

Last Monday on WWE Raw, the Antifa-inspired anarchist stable known as Retribution unmasked, and the group's three male members made their in-ring debut. These mysterious characters were completely unknown to the commentary team in WWE and had to be given new contracts in order to compete, which is a reasonable and typical way that businesses deal with groups that firebomb their generators, chainsaw their work environments, and attack their employees. Though the group's two female members remain unidentified, we did finally get names for the three men: Mace, T-Bar, and Slapjack.

The Antifa-inspired anarchist stable known as Retribution have invaded WWE. While the names of the women have not been revealed, the men are, from left to right, Slapjack, T-Bar, and Mace.
The Antifa-inspired anarchist stable known as Retribution have invaded WWE. While the names of the women have not been revealed, the men are, from left to right, Slapjack, T-Bar, and Mace.

Unfortunately, fans in the WWE Universe, apparently not recognizing the seriousness of these impressive new superstars, took to mocking and laughing at their names, appearance, demeanor, and overall existence. Slapjack, in particular, has been targeted for mockery because of the definition of the word Slapjack on Urban Dictionary, which apparently means to ejaculate in one's hand and then slap another person in the face.

Urban dictionary's definition of "Slapjack" has been established since 2010 and is the top definition on the site.
Urban dictionary's definition of "Slapjack" has been established since 2010 and is the top definition on the site.

Though Slapjack is attempting to defend himself by even addressing the jokes, he's showing how much it bothers him. He should consider being more like Retribution's indisputably coolest member, Mace, who stays above the fray and simply posts emo sayings using his special font, such as "A̗͚͇͉̮͚̐̔ͨ̒̄̚GI̥͎͖̒̈́̈́T̷ͫͥ́ͦ̐̍̈A̠̤ͥ̅TȄ̖̼͍ͪ̌D͇̫͚̖̒̉̅̏ ̝͓̂͆͡S̤̭Ĉ͙͎̭͔̖͚͇̄̋͛͌͂̔Ř̸͕͉̻̱̽́̉EA̳͇̰͉ͮͪ̍̎͞M͇ͩS ̿̾̄ͨ́͂̕O̳̠͈ͮ͛ͪF̫̱̫̫͂̄̐ͣ ͔̬͔͙̻̣̓ͬ̀͋ͥ̏ͦͅM͢Ȃ̘̘̦ͦ͒G͙͍̪̘̘̼̍̾͆̓̓͊G̴̲̗OȚ͉̼̒́͒s̤̱̱͖̀ͯ́̂" and "W̻̱̄ͪE͍͢Eͭ̿͛̑P̶͚͈Iͯͣ̋ͬ͂̃N̸͎͕̠̟̺̝̂̌ͥ̓̎̚G̦̰̬ͧͨͧ A̦͉̻̥̱͚N̹̪̆ͬD̛̫̍ ̉̎ͣ͐ͥ̓GN̳̜̙̏ͯ̚A̱͍̖ͬ̃͗SH̪̝̯̜̲͛̋̌͑̚I͎̞̦͇̺̫͑ͨ̏̾ͪ̅Nͪ͏̩G͒ͯͯ ̡O̼̤̯͇͚͉F̤̝̰̃́ͨ ̰̫̩T̩̊͝E̴̾E͒̾͘T̛H̥̻͆͆." How can you not respect a guy who tweets like that? Slapjack may talk about main eventing Raw, but if any of the men in Retribution deserve a shot at stardom, I think we can all agree that Mace is the one.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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