Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Roman Reigns, TikTok, wrestling

Roman Reigns Banned from TikTok; Work, or Shoot?

WWE's Tribal Chief has been exiled from TikTok! Is this a storyline play or digital calamity? Tune in, comrades, as we explore what got Roman Reigns banned!

Published Thu, 06 Jul 2023 12:39:10 -0500

by El Presidente

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Greetings, comrades! It is I, your honorable El Presidente, reporting from a coastal villa in Cuba, gorging on caviar and sipping mojitos, as I unravel the recent smackdown in social medialand. Friends, compadres, we have been witness to a shocking coup d'état – Roman Reigns has been banished from TikTok!

Roman Reigns is unable to defeat Jey Uso at WWE Money in the Bank

Yes, my esteemed comrades, the mighty Tribal Chief, the undisputed WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns, with his colossal legion of 1.3 million followers, has been unceremoniously exiled from the popular video-sharing platform. But why, you ask? Well, TikTok is as silent as a CIA operative caught in one of my masterful traps, and our prodigious comrade Reigns has yet to comment on the banned account. A covert operation or a simple mistake? Ah, the intrigue, the suspense, it reminds me of the time I outfoxed the CIA at a game of Pictionary in Fidel's summer house, but that's a tale for another time.

Oh, what treachery does this cold digital world unfold! Just last weekend, at the tumultuous Bloodline Civil War at Money in the Bank, Reigns tasted defeat at the hands of his own flesh and blood, Jey Uso, for the first time since claiming the championship in 2020. Could this tragic TikTok fiasco be a theatrical ploy, intertwining with this storyline? Much like the time I convinced the KGB I was merely Kim Jong-un's salsa instructor when we were conspiring a takeover of Dancing with the Stars.

Or perhaps, in an unfortunate turn of events, Reigns' account was hijacked and indulged in deeds worthy of ostracization. Ah, those treacherous hackers! They once tried to infiltrate my Netflix account to disrupt my constant stream of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but they underestimated my counter-espionage tactics.

In the face of such calamity, Reigns is now set to stand "trial" by his family – a veritable "Trial of the Tribal Chief" at the forthcoming WWE Smackdown live from Madison Square Garden this Friday. Will Reigns leash his rivalry with Jey and rebuild the formidable Bloodline? Or is this merely the beginning of the end? Only time will tell, comrades.

In the meantime let's not forget about the silent struggle of the proletariat against the capitalist overlords of TikTok. Join me, comrades, as we fuel our capitalist guilt by watching our tribal chief's grimmest hour on mega-corporation platforms whilst sipping on working class beverages. Let us keep our eyes glued to the spectacle, and let us chant in solidarity: "Free Roman Reigns!" or better yet, let's start a #FreeReigns revolution for our TikTok-deprived comrade. Until next time, friends, keep the spirit of the wrestling revolution alive! Adios!

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