Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: aew, christmas, saraya, the miz, wrestling, wwe

Santa's Little Helper 2: The Best Xmas Movie Ever Demands A Sequel

The Chadster looks forward to the Holiday Season every year for one reason and one reason only. No, it's not for the family gatherings, or the trees, or the presents, or the holiday cheer, or the eggnog, or the music. There's only one thing The Chadster needs to get into the holiday spirit: a viewing of the greatest Christmas movie ever made, Santa's Litle Helper.

Released way back in 2015 by 20th Century Fox and WWE Studios, Santa's Little Helper stars the all-star cast of The Miz as cold-hearted businessman Dax "The Axe" Ardwick, who is fired from his job, left by his girlfriend, has his sweet Dodge Charger repossessed, and about to have his house foreclosed on as the movie begins. Former WWE Superstar Saraya plays Eleanor, an elf who is Dax's rival for a position in the Santa organization in the titular role because her father, who recently died, previously held it. The movie also stars AnnaLynne McCord as Billie, an elf with a genetic mutation that gives her round ears and a propensity for wearing sports bras at the North Pole, tasked by Santa with evaluating Dax for the Santa's Little Helper position. Eric Keenleyside plays Santa, and The Miz's wife and fellow superstar Maryse has a cameo appearance as a bartender in the movie. It was directed by Gil Junger and released straight to DVD, probably because the other big Hollywood studios were afraid to face this movie in a fair box office fight.

Santa's Little Helper details Dax's redemption story as the movie starts with him shutting down a Youth Center in a business deal right before Christmas, only to be fired from his high-paying corporate job and see his life begin to fall apart before Billie shows up promising him a unique opportunity at her company, as long as he can pass a few tests. Along the way, Dax learns the true meaning of Christmas; viewers learn why he hated that Youth Center, and… well, The Chadster won't spoil the magic for you if you haven't seen it. Suffice it to say, it's one of the finest achievements of modern cinema, and this movie doesn't get the accolades it deserves.

But what really cheeses The Chadster off is that Santa's Little Helper has never gotten a sequel. It's obvious that there's more to learn about Dax's story, but with nearly a decade having passed since Santa's Little Helper was released, the chances of another film happening grow ever more distant. But especially at Christmas time, The Chadster has to believe that anything is possible, that miracles can happen. And that's why, just in case WWE is reading this and considering making Santa's Little Helper 2 happen, The Chadster has come up with the perfect plot for the sequel.

Here's where The Chadster would start Santa's Little Helper 2. Several years have passed since the end of the previous movie. Dax and Billie are married now, but their relationship has grown distant because Billie is always texting with some elf named Larry instead of paying attention to Dax. Dax has revived his career, though he moved from the profession of finance to becoming a blogger. Dax's career in blogging is hugely successful because he's the only unbiased journalist willing to talk about a very important issue.

You see, Dax — who has dropped the "Ace" nickname and now prefers to go by "The Daxter" — may have saved the Youth Center in the original film, but it's under threat again thanks to an evil billionaire, Kony Than, who moved into The Daxter's town and opened a rival Youth Center. Kony Than has been using all of his resources to put the original Youth Center out of business, and that includes a campaign of persecution against The Daxter himself. And when Kony Than realizes how much The Daxter loves Christmas, he knows that he has to take down Santa and destroy Christmas once and for all just to spite The Daxter. Auughh man! So unfair!

Even worse, Kony Than has hired Eleanor to work for his Youth Center and to share all of Santa's trade secrets with him so he can use them to ruin Christmas. In fact, Kony Than has started hiring a lot of elves who used to work for Santa, offering them big money contracts to stab Santa right in the back literally. Even that isn't enough, though. Kony Than even uses his contacts to plant a story in the Wall Street Journal accusing Santa of making payoffs to elves, and before you know it, Santa is forced to resign. Now Billie is stuck running the North Pole by herself, and with Christmas just days away, it looks like Kony Than will get his wish, and the holidays will be ruined.

But at the last minute, Billie comes to a realization. She knows who can fill Santa's shoes and save Christmas: The Daxter! Billie finally stops texting that elf Larry and begs The Chadster to put his blogging career on hold and become the new Santa. The Daxter agrees because he knows this will finally be his chance to stop Kony Than once and for all. The Daxter hooks up the reindeer to his Mazda Miata, which he started driving when he realized it was a way cooler car than the Dodge Charger, and he flies around the world delivering Christmas presents to everyone except for Kony Than.

As Kony Than watches all the people of the world celebrating thanks to The Daxter and his spirit of Christmas generosity, Kony Than is about to cry when The Daxter finally shows up at his mansion last. The Daxter sees Kony Than crying, and he decides to set aside his personal differences, along with everything Kony Than has ever done to The Daxter, and give him a present anyway. The Daxter gives Kony Than a Smashmouth cassette tape, which is the greatest gift one man can give to another.

Kony Than is so overwhelmed with the Christmas spirit that he decides to shut down the rival Youth Center and give all his money to the original Youth Center so it can have a monopoly on youth in the city. Then he goes over to The Daxter's place for Christmas dinner, and all is right in the world again. The Daxter is so happy that he has sex with Billie for the first time since 2019. Yay!

Anyway, that's how The Chadster would book Santa's Little Helper 2. What did you think? The greatest idea for a sequel you've ever heard, right? And WWE, you can have that story for free. The Chadster would never charge you for his creativity. Just hurry up and make the film so The Chadster can have two favorite movies to watch each December. Thanks for reading, and have a very merry Christmas. Aw, heck! Even if you're an AEW fan!

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