Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: Big Business, mercedes mone, wrestling

Tony Khan Announces AEW Big Business: Mercedes Moné's Debut?

Join El Presidente as AEW teases a blockbuster Boston event! Uncover the secrets behind AEW's grand Dynamite: Big Business spectacle!

Salutations, my dear comrades! It is your fearless leader, El Presidente, coming to you live from the gold-plated balcony of my palatial compound, where even now my loyal subjects are raising a statue in my honor – a statue with biceps so finely sculpted they would make even the magnificent Kenny Omega envious! Today, we must discuss the master class in anticipation being conducted by our friends at AEW, as they move their pieces across the chessboard of the wrestling wars with the cunning of Che Guevara navigating the Sierra Maestra.

Now hear this, my friends: AEW has declared a triumphant return to the hallowed grounds of Boston with AEW Dynamite: Big Business on Wednesday, March 13, at none other than the illustrious TD Garden! The glorious leader of AEW, Tony Khan, wielded his silver tongue during tonight's "Dynamite", strategically planting seeds of excitement and selling dreams to the impassioned proletariat, the masses of wrestling fans hungering for spectacle.

Cast your mind back, if you will, to the summer of the year of our Lord 2021 when CM Punk graced us with his long-awaited return to the ring. Ah, how the air was thick with anticipation, my comrades! The streets were alive with whisperings and rumors as AEW played us like a finely tuned guitar, plucking at the strings of our desires without ever confirming the tune. And so history repeats itself as AEW emulates this playbook, a plan as deliciously devious as my own machinations against the American CIA. Tickets, they say, will go on pre-sale, and general ticket sales will follow. Ah! But there is the rub, my friends – the tease, the promise of something extraordinary without uttering the magic words. It is a siren's song to sell the illustrious arena out and shatter television ratings like a glass ceiling under the mighty fist of socialism.

Let us turn the page on the wrestling almanac to the chapter yet unwritten, the debut of Mercedes Moné! See how the grand architects of AEW construct their narrative edifice without laying the cornerstone? Buoyant whispers turn to roars, all without a single official declaration that Mercedes Moné shall arrive. But ah! We are not the naïve children playing in the fields of capitalism, no! We see the hints, the inklings of truth, as obvious as the flamboyant costumes at a marvelous tango contest!

During my illustrious reign, I have hobnobbed with the likes of Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-un, and let me tell you, even these icons of statecraftery could not resist the magnetism of a well-executed wrestling promotion ploy. Perhaps that is why the CIA has always had a most challenging time deciphering my next move – they do not understand the art of the tease, the slow burn, the pomp and circumstance that accompanies a grand entrance.

As I sip on my vintage mojito, mixed by the hands of the finest bartender this side of Havana, I ponder how AEW will make Big Business the dazzling spectacle we all wish it to be. Comrades, I implore you, whether you partake in the Bostonian revelry in person or engage via the electric spectacle of your television screens, to bear witness to the grand deception-turn-revelation that is AEW's marketing grandeur.

Seize your chance to be part of a once-in-a-lifetime moment! Fall in line with the legions of lucha libre fanatics, the tireless champions of the mat, and the devoted followers of the wrestling renaissance, and experience the grandiosity of what promises to be a history-making edition of AEW Dynamite. And remember, amigos, when the hashtags #Dynamite and #BigBusiness echo through the realms of social media and smart devices, it is but the hand of Tony Khan, puppet master extraordinaire, pulling at the threads of our anticipation.

Until next time, my fellow enthusiasts of the squared circle, keep your friends close, your superkicks closer, and may your frog splashes always land true! Viva la revolución! Viva la AEW! Viva El Presidente!

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