Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, AEW Spring Breakthru, preview', wrestling

AEW Collision Goes Head-to-Head With TNA Impact Again Tonight

El Presidente previews tonight's AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru from his submarine, featuring Thekla's title defense, Moxley vs. Wayne, and Young Bucks action!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from a luxury submarine currently parked beneath the Puget Sound just off the coast of Everett, Washington, where tonight's AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru will emanate from the Angel of the Winds Arena! I had to take the submarine because the CIA has been tailing my private helicopter ever since I accidentally outbid a certain American intelligence director for a signed Darby Allin skateboard on eBay. But no matter — El Presidente always finds a way, just like Darby Allin found a way to become AEW World Champion last night!

Speaking of which, comrades, what a night it was on AEW Dynamite: Spring Breakthru! If you missed it, Darby Allin defeated MJF for the AEW World Championship in one of the most emotional main events in AEW history, hitting four consecutive Coffin Drops and finishing MJF off with the very headlock takeover that MJF used to beat him at Full Gear 2021. Poetic justice, comrades — something I know a great deal about, as I once used my political rival's own campaign slogan against him in a nationally televised debate. He is now living in exile, and I am living in a palace. Such is life!

Elsewhere on last night's Dynamite, Kevin Knight successfully defended the TNT Championship against Claudio Castagnoli, Will Ospreay defeated CMLL World Heavyweight Champion Hechicero before being attacked by the traitorous Mark Davis, Willow Nightingale survived a brutal TBS Championship defense against Kamille, Tommaso Ciampa destroyed Dezmond Xavier, and Ricochet and The Demand laid waste to Chris Jericho. My comrade Brad McMahon wrote a beautiful and comprehensive review of the entire show that I highly recommend you read — he captures the magic of the evening far better than my Minister of Propaganda could ever capture the magic of my latest Five-Year Plan.

Now, comrades, you may have noticed that AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru is airing on a special day tonight — Thursday — rather than its usual Saturday timeslot. This is because WWE WrestleMania is taking place this Saturday and Sunday, and AEW wisely moved Collision to avoid going head-to-head with the granddaddy of them all. A sound strategic retreat, comrades — even El Presidente knows when to reposition his forces for maximum advantage rather than charging headlong into a superior artillery barrage. However, this Thursday move means that AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru will once again go head-to-head with TNA Wrestling's Thursday Night Impact, and we all remember what happened the last time these two shows competed on the same night. TNA president Carlos Silva threw such a tantrum that he pulled TNA talent from matches at independent shows where they would have faced AEW stars, punishing the wrestlers and the fans because his feelings got hurt by a scheduling conflict. The question now is whether Silva and TNA's creative partners at WWE will react with the same small dick energy they displayed last time this happened, or whether they will finally grow up and recognize that competition is good for the business — a lesson that, frankly, even rival dictators understand better than these television executives. My old friend Hugo Chávez, rest his soul, once told me, "If you cannot handle competition, you do not deserve to be in power." He was talking about socialist governance, but it applies equally to professional wrestling promotions, comrades.

But enough about petty television rivalries! Tonight, AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru airs at 8 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. CT on TNT and streaming on HBO Max, and the card is absolutely stacked. Let El Presidente walk you through every match and segment!

AEW Women's World Championship Match: "The Toxic Spider" Thekla (c) vs. NJPW Strong Women's Champion Alex Windsor of Brawling Birds

At this point, when AEW Women's World Champion Thekla speaks, one should fully expect her to show no mercy or respect toward any of her opponents. On Dynamite, Thekla gloated about her victory against Jamie Hayter at Dynasty, which didn't sit well with Hayter's Brawling Birds partner, Alex Windsor. Windsor said she wouldn't let Thekla speak to Hayter like that and pretend she won the match fair and square, reminding Thekla that she isn't the only champion around here.

Thekla accepted Windsor's challenge, yet a sneak attack from Julia Hart and Skye Blue on Windsor was unsuccessful, as Windsor handled them before turning her attention back to Thekla in the crowd. After a big win over Marina Shafir on AEW Dynasty Zero Hour, can Windsor pull off the biggest win of her career and take the AEW Women's World Championship from Thekla? Or will Thekla notch another successful defense?

Comrades, Thekla reminds me of myself — a leader who takes what she wants and dares anyone to stop her! The Toxic Spider has been running through the AEW women's division like I ran through the opposition party during the 2019 elections, which is to say, with ruthless efficiency and a complete disregard for fair play. But Alex Windsor is no pushover. She handled Julia Hart and Skye Blue like I handle CIA operatives who show up at my palace disguised as pool cleaners — swiftly and decisively. I once watched Windsor wrestle at a show in London while I was there on a "diplomatic mission" (I was actually shopping for a new gold-plated bidet), and let me tell you, this woman is a fighter. Jamie Hayter is lucky to have such a loyal partner. Tonight's title match could steal the show on AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru!

AEW Continental Championship Eliminator Match: Jon Moxley (c) vs. ROH World TV Champion Nick Wayne

After Jon Moxley successfully defended the AEW Continental Championship in a hard-fought battle with Will Ospreay just four days ago at Dynasty, he said Ospreay didn't surprise him. Tonight, he wants Wayne to surprise him.

Moxley admitted he doesn't know much about Wayne. Still, the ROH World TV Champion is undefeated in three matches since returning to action in February following a broken foot that kept him sidelined since last July. Wayne will be in his hometown with a chance to earn a future AEW Continental Championship shot if he can beat Mox in this clash of two very different styles!

Ah, Jon Moxley, the Death Rider himself! You know, comrades, Moxley once told me — and by "told me" I mean he stared at me menacingly from across a hotel bar in Tokyo while I was sharing sake with my dear friend Kim Jong-un — that the Continental Championship represents adult business for grown-ups. I respect that energy. It is the same energy I bring to nationalizing foreign-owned oil companies. But Nick Wayne is coming home to Everett, Washington, and there is nothing more dangerous than a young man fighting in his hometown with something to prove. Wayne has been undefeated since returning from a broken foot, and I know a thing or two about coming back from setbacks, comrades. After my first coup attempt failed in 1998, I came back stronger, meaner, and with much better funding from certain unnamed nations. Wayne could do the same tonight on AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru!

Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs. The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz and Myron Reed)

This could be a special one. Coming off a big win at Dynasty over AEW International Champion "The Rainmaker" Kazuchika Okada and NJPW World TV Champion "The Alpha" Konosuke Takeshita, the Young Bucks look to take another step toward an AEW World Tag Team Title shot when they face their friends, Zachary Wentz and Myron Reed of The Rascalz.

This will be the first time we'll see this Rascalz combo in an AEW tag team match, although Wentz, Reed and Dezmond Xavier have the kind of chemistry that makes them dangerously interchangeable. Can the Bucks keep the momentum going, or will Wentz and Reed make their own case for an AEW World Tag Team Title shot?

COMRADES! If there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the CIA, it's that you should never underestimate a team that works together with seamless chemistry. The CIA thought they could infiltrate my palace staff, but my kitchen crew has the kind of interchangeability that would make The Rascalz proud — my head chef can double as my bodyguard, and my bodyguard makes an excellent crème brûlée. Matt and Nick Jackson, the Young Bucks, are the greatest tag team of their generation, and they proved it again at Dynasty by defeating Kazuchika Okada and Konosuke Takeshita. But Zachary Wentz and Myron Reed of The Rascalz are hungry, and this is their first outing as a duo in AEW tag team competition. My old friend Fidel Castro once told me, "The most dangerous opponent is the one with nothing to lose and everything to prove." He said this while we were watching a tag team match in Havana, naturally. This one is going to be incredible, comrades — the best tag team wrestling in the world, right here on AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru!

AEW World Trios Championship Eliminator Match: The Conglomeration (Orange Cassidy, Roderick Strong, and Kyle O'Reilly) vs. The Lethal Twist (Jay Lethal, Blake Christian, and Lee Johnson)

Four days ago at Dynasty, Kyle O'Reilly made a successful and emotional return to action in his home province of British Columbia for the first time in nearly five months to be the mystery partner for Orange Cassidy and Roderick Strong in their victory over AEW World Trios Champions The Dogs.

The Conglomeration will be back in action tonight in an Eliminator match against The Lethal Twist. While Cassidy and Strong beat Lethal and Johnson in tag team action last month on Slam Dunk Sunday, the trio of Lethal, Christian and Johnson have yet to lose. If they win again tonight, they'll earn a future shot at the AEW World Trios Titles!

Orange Cassidy is living proof that socialism works, comrades. Here is a man who puts in the absolute minimum amount of effort and yet somehow holds championship gold. This is the redistribution of success that I have been preaching about for decades! With Roderick Strong and Kyle O'Reilly by his side in The Conglomeration, they have been on an incredible run. O'Reilly's return at Dynasty was emotional — almost as emotional as the time I returned to my presidential palace after a three-week exile during the 2003 counter-revolution, only to find that my pet jaguar had eaten my collection of rare wrestling DVDs. Devastating.

But Jay Lethal, Blake Christian, and Lee Johnson of The Lethal Twist are undefeated as a trio, and an Eliminator match victory would earn them a future shot at the AEW World Trios Titles. This is the kind of high-stakes trios action that makes AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru must-see television!

PAC of the Death Riders vs. Lio Rush

Two of the most athletic competitors in AEW will collide tonight in Everett when The Bastard PAC faces the haunting Lio Rush! This won't be the first time they've met, but it will be the first time PAC faces this version of Rush one-on-one. How will the no-nonsense PAC handle the unsettling cadence of Rush? We'll find out on Collision Spring BreakThru!

PAC, The Bastard, is one of the most terrifying human beings in professional wrestling, and I say this as a man who has personally stared down three assassination attempts and a very aggressive iguana. But comrades, Lio Rush in his current form is genuinely unsettling — he has the kind of haunting energy that reminds me of the ghost that allegedly haunts the east wing of my palace. My generals refuse to patrol that corridor after midnight, and I suspect PAC may feel similarly uncomfortable dealing with whatever version of Rush shows up tonight. This clash of elite athleticism is going to be something special!

We'll Hear From Rated-R Superstar Adam Copeland!

Cope and Cage failed to beat FTR for the AEW World Tag Team Championship at Dynasty, as the champions left Cope a bloody and beaten mess. Tonight, he responds to what happened at Dynasty and FTR's claim that as long as they are AEW World Tag Team Champions, Cope and Cage will never get another shot at the titles!

Comrades, Adam Copeland — Cope, the Rated-R Superstar himself — was left a bloody mess by FTR at Dynasty, and tonight he has something to say about it. I know what it feels like to be told you will never get another shot at something, comrades. The United Nations told me the same thing after my third attempt to annex my neighbor's coastal territory. But did I listen? Of course not! And I suspect Cope will not listen either. Dax Harwood, Cash Wheeler, and that weasel Stokely Hathaway may think they've closed the door on Cope and Christian Cage, but the Rated-R Superstar has been kicking down doors since before some of these AEW roster members were born. Whatever Cope says tonight on AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru, I expect it to be magnificent and violent in spirit.

Hikaru Shida & Kris Statlander in Action

Shida and Statlander came back together last week on Collision to pick up a dominating victory, so Shida decided they should do it again tonight on Collision. This duo of former AEW Women's World Champions will be back in action in Everett!

Hikaru Shida and Kris Statlander are two former AEW Women's World Champions teaming up again, and comrades, there is something deliciously suspicious about Shida's motivations here. After her somewhat insincere congratulations to Willow Nightingale backstage on Dynamite, I sense Shida is playing the long game — much like I played the long game when I spent six years befriending my predecessor before peacefully and democratically replacing him in a completely legitimate election that I won by 97% of the vote. Whatever Shida is planning, I am here for it. Two dominant women crushing their opponents? That is the content El Presidente craves!

Brody King, Máscara Dorada & Místico in Action

With ROH World Champion Bandido back home in Mexico, he sent his friends Máscara Dorada and Místico to tag with his Brodido partner, Brody King! This unique trios combination will be in action tonight on Collision.

Now THIS is what I am talking about, comrades! Brody King, the massive and terrifying half of Brodido, teaming with Máscara Dorada and Místico — two of the most legendary luchadores in the world — sent by ROH World Champion Bandido himself! This is international cooperation at its finest, the kind of cross-border solidarity that warms my socialist heart. I once hosted Místico at my palace for a private lucha libre exhibition, and he performed a hurricanrana on my Minister of Defense that was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. My Minister of Defense required medical attention, but the artistry was worth it. This unique trios combination could produce some of the most spectacular action of the entire night on AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru!

How to Watch AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru

Comrades, AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru airs TONIGHT — and note that this is a special Thursday episode — at 8 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. CT on TNT and streaming on HBO Max, live from the Angel of the Winds Arena in Everett, Washington! All preview materials courtesy of AEW's official website, where you can find additional details on tonight's card.

Now if you'll excuse me, comrades, I must surface this submarine, commandeer a luxury suite at the arena, and prepare my viewing station with the finest caviar and revolutionary fervor that money — specifically, my nation's treasury — can buy. I have invited my dear friend Alexander Lukashenko to watch tonight's show with me via satellite link, as he has recently become a massive Orange Cassidy fan. He says Cassidy's relaxed approach to competition reminds him of his own approach to holding free elections.

Tune in tonight, comrades! AEW Collision: Spring Breakthru has the potential to be one of the best episodes of Collision in recent memory. Thekla defends, Moxley fights, the Young Bucks superkick, and El Presidente watches it all with a glass of the people's finest champagne. Until next time, comrades — remember, in the immortal words of the revolution: where the best wrestle, and where the best dictators watch!

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