Posted in: Disney, Disney+, Marvel, Marvel Studios, Movies, TV | Tagged: disney, Marvel Studios, mcu, what if

What If…?: Fun Series Also Sobering Reminder of How MCU Has Flatlined

What If...? is a fun series, better-written than most of what came out of the MCU in 2023, but it also shows us why Marvel's flatlining.

What If…? Season Two, which nobody asked for, is now on Disney+. It's fun, has moments of wit, and doesn't overstay its welcome. It's better written than the four MCU movies that opened theatrically in 2023 – and let's not get started on Secret Invasion – and the bad news is that it only reminds us that the MCU has flatlined. Because as fun as it was, none of the stories mattered. They're literally just "what if?" so why should we care when there's always another universe to pull from?

What if Nebula was a space cop? What if Peggy Carter became Captain Britain instead of Steve Rogers becoming Captain America? What if Peter Quill became a planet-threatening menace instead of Starlord? What if Happy Hogan ends up in Die Hard but at Avengers Tower? What if a Mohawk woman discovered the tesseract while the Spanish were conquering her people? What if Hela learned kung fu from Shang Chi's mom and got good? Wait, do we remember who Hela is? Oh right. What if Dr. Strange was a big ol' baddie? It doesn't matter. None of it because multiverse! The stories are entirely inconsequential. They're just cute little side dishes while fans wait for the next big MCU movie release.

Big Hollywood studios discovering the multiverse has been the worst thing to happen to movies and television. They can't help it. Whenever they discover a new idea or a gimmick, they going to beat it to death and milk it past the point of mummification. What If…? was just a scrappy little side Marvel Comic that started in 1977. Now it's Disney and Marvel Studio's way of keeping corporate IP going.

What if the MCU Told Stories that Mattered Again?

MCU treats all the stories as a sitcom now. Real emotions are pushed away for a joke because feelings. The rot began with Thor: Love and Thunder, where the "Tee-hee! Aren't we funny?" vibe crossed the line into unbearable smugness for the first time. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania pushed the story into Big Multiverse Plot while the characters' arcs were pushed back to the same old tropes from over ten years of the same types of movies. Only Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 maintained the balance between comedy and tropey plot without becoming tiresome. And 2023 is the year where Disney spent $250 million to make The Marvels (which we enjoyed around here!), a movie about three women who gang up to beat up a one angry woman. You could say What If…? was a mild improvement, but it's hard to care anymore.

Can MCU Actually Stop Being Scared of Emotions?

The heroes all have the personalities of wisecracking 13-year-old boys, including all the women. Well, literally everyone in What… If? has the personality of a wisecracking 13-year-old American boy, good guys and bad guys both. It's what passes for "personality" in the MCU now. Baddies are just stubborn jerks too stubborn to be nice. And all you have to do is keep punching them in the face till they stop. It's a cute, comforting lie for 13-year-old boys of all ages everywhere.

Should Superhero Movies Take a Break?

Superhero movies – we don't say "comic book movies" because, unlike clueless outlets, we know the difference – are on the decline now simply because, like all popular genres, they went on for too long and got tired. That happened to Westerns, but it took that genre forty years to decline. The non-Snyder cut of Justice League was the first stumble; the runner got shot in the leg but still managed to keep running. With the end of 2023, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is a bullet in the head. Somehow DC manages to mess up first, but Marvel is very close behind. The movies are dying not because they're "woke" but because they're dull and repetitive now. The patient is not dead yet, just on life support.

The MCU doesn't need a "What If…?" They need a "Why should we care?" Bad guys threatening the universe(s)? They'll be dealt with by jokes and punching.  If the heroes – or the writers – don't because everything's a sitcom and there are no stakes, then why are we bothering to watch?

Until then, What If…? So What? Stream it on Disney+ if you must.

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