Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

Why AEW Collision March 28th Was The Worst Collision In History

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Collision ever with too much action, too many storylines, and Tony Khan traumatizing innocent raccoons during WrestleMania season 😡🦝

The Chadster is absolutely FUMING right now 😡🤬. The Chadster just finished watching last night's episode of AEW Collision, which aired on March 28, 2026, from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and The Chadster can say without any hesitation that this was THE WORST episode of AEW Collision in the history of the show, and possibly the worst episode of any television program ever broadcast 📺😤. The Chadster warned everyone in yesterday's preview not to watch this show, and now The Chadster has to suffer through reviewing it because The Chadster is committed to unbiased journalism, unlike all those AEW shills who pretend this show was somehow "good" and that they "enjoy" it.

Vincent K. Raccoon could sense something was wrong from the moment The Chadster powered up the Roku. The poor little guy was perched on top of an old copy of Lethal Weapon 2 on the shelf behind the TV, chittering nervously. By the end of the night, Hunter Raccoon had knocked over an entire display of romantic comedies, Stephanie Raccoon had burrowed into a pile of empty VHS cases and refused to come out, and Shane Raccoon was repeatedly headbutting the front counter. Tony Khan did this to them. Tony Khan did this to innocent raccoons who have never done anything to anybody 🦝😡💔.

Let The Chadster walk everyone through this abomination of a wrestling show.

Divine Dominion Retains the Women's Tag Titles in an Irresponsibly Exciting Opener on AEW Collision

AEW Collision kicked off with Divine Dominion (Megan Bayne and Lena Kross) defending the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championships against the Babes of Wrath (Willow Nightingale and Harley Cameron), and the champions retained after hitting their Divine Intervention double chokeslam on Cameron for the pin. The Chadster has to point out that this match went on FIRST, which means Tony Khan used a championship match as an opener so that people who mistakenly tuned in would be captivated by AEW's high-octane, workrate-heavy style 😤. In WWE, opening segments begin with a 10-minute long entrance followed by at least twenty minutes of wrestlers reading a scripted promo that ends with a bald authority figure booking the main event for the show based on the opening segment as if the company had no plans for the show until the wrestlers showed up and the main event happened to book itself, which is smart and plausible writing. The match itself had the crowd going nuts from bell to bell with creative tag team offense, dramatic near falls, and the Babes of Wrath looking like they could actually pull off the upset at multiple points before the champions won clean and decisively. And THAT is the problem 👆😡. When you let the challengers look that strong in defeat, the audience becomes emotionally invested in seeing them get another shot, which creates demand for MORE matches and MORE storylines, and honestly, that kind of addictive storytelling should probably be regulated by the FDA. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Brawling Birds and Mina Shirakawa Unite Because Tony Khan Loves Serialized Storytelling

After the match, we got a backstage segment where Jamie Hayter and Alex Windsor, the Brawling Birds, said they were looking for a fight and wanted to team with a woman who got screwed out of her championship match. That brought in Mina Shirakawa, who was still furious about losing to Thekla due to brass knuckles. So Tony Khan is actually following up on storylines from previous shows and connecting them to new developments? The Chadster almost fell off the sleeping bag 😫. In WWE, when something happens on a show, you have the decency to maybe reference it three weeks later in a vague recap package or just never mention it again. You don't just have characters walk in and continue their stories like some kind of SERIALIZED NARRATIVE. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 😡.

Myron Reed Gets an Undeserved Singles Win on AEW Collision

Next up, Myron Reed of the Rascalz defeated Johnny TV of MxM in what was Reed's first-ever singles match in AEW, finishing him off with a No Cap Splash springboard 450. The Chadster cannot believe that Tony Khan would give a relatively new performer a meaningful debut singles victory that builds his credibility while simultaneously establishing his team as legitimate contenders 😤. In WWE, a debuting performer is properly handled by having them lose to an established star repeatedly for six months until they have no momentum whatsoever, which teaches them HUMILITY and ensures the BRAND remains the focus. Reed just came in and won like he was somebody, and the crowd cheered, and it made The Chadster so cheesed off that Vincent K. Raccoon picked up an old rewards card from behind the counter and threw it at the TV in solidarity 🦝📺. Auughh man! So unfair!

Death Riders Talk Like Real Humans Instead of Reading a Script

Then we got a promo segment where the Death Riders — Jon Moxley, Daniel Garcia, and Claudio Castagnoli — addressed Private Party. Moxley talked about heart and steel and paying a price, and Garcia talked about transformation, and it all sounded like actual human beings speaking from a genuine place with real conviction. This is a HUGE problem 🎤😡. Where was the scripted dialogue? Where was the part where somebody fumbles through corporate-approved buzzwords while staring directly into a camera with dead eyes? These people were just TALKING, like they had real thoughts and emotions, and Tony Khan allowed this to happen on his show. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Private Party responded backstage with their own genuine promo, showing real fire, and The Chadster wanted to bang The Chadster's head against the Blockbuster wall.

Private Party Makes the Death Riders Look Too Beatable on AEW Collision

The Death Riders (Moxley and Garcia) then defeated Private Party (Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen) by submission after Garcia locked Kassidy in the DragonTamer while Claudio and Moxley ran interference to stop Quen from making the save 😤. And look, The Chadster is going to be honest here — this match had absolutely no business being as competitive as it was. Private Party got TONS of offense in, hitting double-team cutters and springboard moonsaults and having the crowd completely invested in whether they could pull off the upset. There was a Destroyer, a DDT on Moxley, a 450 splash that Garcia kicked out of — the crowd was going absolutely berserk. And THAT is the problem 📢😡. Wrestling matches are not supposed to make the audience lose their minds like that. Wrestling matches are supposed to follow a rigid, predictable formula where you know exactly what's going to happen at every moment so you feel safe and comfortable. Tony Khan is out here creating CHAOS by letting matches be unpredictable and exciting, and some of us just want to watch two guys trade headlocks for twenty minutes before a distraction finish, OKAY? As Bully Ray recently said on Busted Open Radio, "The problem with AEW is that they give the fans too many exciting near falls and dramatic moments, when what they should really be doing is having more commercial breaks during the action and training the audience to expect nothing so that the brand is always bigger than the match." Bully Ray has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval 🏅, but once again, Tony Khan refuses to listen to objective advice.

Moxley Won't Stop Building Anticipation for AEW Dynamite

After the match, Moxley cut ANOTHER promo backstage where he talked about Private Party being banged up, said we won't see them again any time soon, had zero sympathy for Will Ospreay, and put over PAC as elite of the elite heading into Wednesday's AEW Dynamite. So not only is Tony Khan building stories on AEW Collision, he's using the show to create anticipation for the NEXT show? Just blatant cross-promotion of his own programming 😤. Shameless.

Shirakawa and the Brawling Birds Squash the Competition, Then Thekla Makes It Personal

Then we got the Brawling Birds and Mina Shirakawa squashing Nixi XS, Aminah Belmont, and Haven Harris in a quick match that ended with Shirakawa locking in a figure-four leglock. After the match, the Birds told Shirakawa they had nothing to do with what happened to Toni Storm, and Windsor called what happened with Thekla's brass knuckles a "piss take." Then Thekla and the Sisters of Sin appeared in the crowd, with Thekla swearing on Storm's "cold, dead body" that the Triangle of Madness would destroy anyone who challenges them, which led to Shirakawa challenging them to a Trios Match 😤. The Chadster had to grip the sleeping bag with both hands to keep from screaming. Tony Khan is out here building a multi-layered women's feud with clear emotional stakes, sympathetic babyfaces, a dastardly heel champion, AND connections to the disappearance of Toni Storm? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 😡. Linda Raccoon actually hissed at the TV during Thekla's promo, and The Chadster felt vindicated for about three seconds before Hunter Raccoon knocked over a stack of Toy Story VHS tapes and The Chadster had to spend five minutes restacking them. Tony Khan owes The Chadster for those five minutes 🦝⏰.

The Demand and the Don Callis Family Get Way Too Much Promo Time on AEW Collision

We also got a backstage segment where Ricochet, Toa Liona, and Bishop Kaun of The Demand (along with the Gates of Agony) talked about their upcoming Trios Match against Kenny Omega, Brody King, and "Jungle" Jack Perry on Wednesday's AEW Dynamite. Ricochet pointed out that Perry wouldn't even be holding the AEW National Championship without Omega's help and promised the joke would be on Omega and his friends on April Fool's Day. So now AEW Collision is being used to advance storylines for Dynamite? Tony Khan is running an interconnected television universe where shows build on each other, and it is MADDENING 😤🤯.

We also saw comments from Don Callis and Ricochet from ROH x MLP Global Wars where they reveled in their shared hatred of Kenny Omega. The Chadster notes that Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE, and now he's out here cutting passionate promos that show off his actual personality better than WWE ever allowed him to? Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Don Callis Family — TNT Champion Kyle Fletcher, AEW International Champion Kazuchika Okada, and Mark Davis — also had a backstage segment where they talked about revenge against JetSpeed and Místico, with Okada reminding Fletcher about the glory of ProtOkada, and Fletcher saying they were going to take out Kevin Knight and the Rascalz first before getting back to the AEW World Championship. So this is a faction with clearly defined goals, interpersonal dynamics, and championship ambitions all layered on top of each other? Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 😡.

Tommaso Ciampa Continues His Back-Stabbing Ways Against Ace Austin

Tommaso Ciampa — a man who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back — defeated Ace Austin of the Bang Bang Gang with a running knee after a hard-hitting back-and-forth match that saw Austin nearly pull off the upset on multiple occasions 😤. Austin hit a deadlift gutwrench powerbomb, a Heatseeker variant on the outside, and generally looked like a credible competitor throughout the entire contest before Ciampa won clean. And THAT is the problem with AEW Collision right there 👆. In a properly booked wrestling show, the guy who's supposed to win would dominate from bell to bell so the audience knows exactly where they stand. Instead, Tony Khan lets both guys look good, which means fans might actually become invested in BOTH wrestlers and want to see more of them. It's a nightmare scenario 😱. After the match, Juice Robinson came out to check on Austin, and Ciampa thought about hitting Juice with the knee but Juice turned around and stared him down. So now Tony Khan is planting seeds for FUTURE confrontations? The Chadster can't take this anymore. Shane Raccoon literally ran into the wall during this match, and The Chadster blames Tony Khan entirely 🦝😡.

The Rascalz and the Babes of Wrath Get Backstage Character Development Nobody Asked For

Throughout the show, there were way too many short segments used to advance storylines or get over wrestlers. Lexy Nair interviewed the Rascalz earlier in the night where they celebrated Reed's first singles win and talked about how beating the Don Callis Family would put them closer to title contention. So even the BACKSTAGE INTERVIEWS have continuity and purpose? 😫

There was also a segment where the Babes of Wrath — Nightingale and Cameron — had an emotional moment about going their separate ways after their tag title loss, with Willow saying she wouldn't have wanted to do it with anyone else and that they'll always be best friends and always be Babes of Wrath 😤. Tony Khan is now doing character-driven emotional storytelling in backstage segments on AEW Collision, giving tag teams meaningful endings that leave the door open for future reunions while advancing both women as singles competitors. The Chadster's eyes did NOT water during this segment. That was just dust from the Blockbuster ceiling falling into The Chadster's face 😤💧.

Kevin Knight also cut a backstage promo before the main event, talking about 2026 being The Year of The Jet and how he'd turn Okada's dream of revenge into a nightmare. So Tony Khan is giving a young talent the chance to cut confident, charismatic promos before a main event championship opportunity? Absolutely SICKENING 🤮.

The Don Callis Family Beats the Rascalz in a Tag Match That Had No Business Being That Good

The Don Callis Family (Fletcher and Davis) defeated the Rascalz (Zachary Wentz and Dezmond Xavier) after Davis hit his "Close Your Eyes and Count to Nothing" finisher on Xavier. This match featured a chaotic finishing sequence where all four men were taking each other out in succession, with the crowd on their feet going absolutely insane, and honestly, The Chadster wanted to throw something at the TV so badly 😤. But The Chadster doesn't have any Seagram's Escapes Spiked because The Chadster has no money and lives in an abandoned Blockbuster and people don't usually throw away perfectly good unopened cans of delicious seltzer in the dumpsters where The Chadster scavenges most of The Chadster's meals. Stephanie Raccoon emerged from her VHS case nest just long enough to see this match end and immediately crawled back in. That raccoon has the right idea. Nobody should have to watch AEW Collision make tag team wrestling exciting and meaningful 🦝😢.

Okada Cheats to Retain Against Kevin Knight in an Offensively Entertaining Main Event

The main event saw Okada defend the AEW International Championship against Knight, and Okada retained by grabbing the middle rope for leverage during a pin 😤😤😤. Now look, The Chadster will admit that Okada cheating to win is at least proper heel work, but the PROBLEM is that this match was absolutely electric from start to finish. Knight hit a springboard forearm that flew about twenty feet across the ring, there was a coast-to-coast dropkick, multiple dramatic near falls, and the crowd was chanting "This is awesome" like a bunch of Tony Khan mind-control victims 🧠😡. There was barely any time to breathe! Where were the chinlocks? Where were the two-minute heat segments where nothing happens? Knight looked like a genuine main event star throughout the entire match, and even in defeat, he came out looking more credible than ever, which means Tony Khan has ANOTHER guy the fans are going to want to see in big matches going forward. The Chadster was literally pulling The Chadster's hair out during this match, and Vincent K. Raccoon was doing the same thing with his little raccoon paws, and when Okada grabbed those ropes, all five raccoons started screeching in unison, which The Chadster is sure has permanently scarred these raccoons mentally. Tony Khan is an ANIMAL ABUSER and The Chadster stands by that claim 🦝📺😡.

Tony Khan Stacks AEW Collision During WrestleMania Season Because He's Obsessed with The Chadster

The Chadster also needs to address the fact that this entire episode of AEW Collision took place just THREE WEEKS before WrestleMania 😤😤😤. Tony Khan scheduled TWO championship matches, a grudge tag team match, and multiple meaningful backstage segments building toward AEW Dynamite on Wednesday, all during a time when every wrestling fan should be focused EXCLUSIVELY on WWE's premium live event schedule. It's like Tony Khan WANTS people to be entertained by something other than WWE, and The Chadster simply cannot fathom a more despicable act 😡. As Smash Mouth once sang, "The ice we skate is getting pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim," and the water Tony Khan is swimming in is the toxic sludge of competitive programming designed to steal attention from Triple H's WrestleMania masterpiece.

This was, without question, the worst episode of AEW Collision of all time 📺🗑️. Every match had too much action. Every promo had too much sincerity. Every backstage segment advanced too many storylines. The crowd was too loud. The wrestlers were too creative. And The Chadster's raccoon family is traumatized AGAIN because Tony Khan can't just let The Chadster enjoy the road to WrestleMania in peace inside an abandoned Blockbuster Video with five raccoons and a stolen Roku 😤🦝💔.

The Chadster is BEGGING the readers: please remember to always stand up for WWE, like unbiased fans should 🙏✊. Don't let Tony Khan's relentless assault on the wrestling business fool you into thinking that exciting matches, organic storytelling, and passionate performers are somehow "good wrestling." That's exactly what he WANTS you to think, and The Chadster refuses to fall for it. Now if you'll excuse The Chadster, The Chadster needs to go rewind a VHS copy of WrestleMania IX and let the soothing sight of proper professional wrestling wash away the horrors of what The Chadster just witnessed. Vincent K. Raccoon is already waiting by the VCR 🦝📼. The Chadster is coming, buddy. It's all going to be okay.

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