Will SummerSlam Mask Mandate Lead to the Return of a Wrestling Legend?

Fans attending WWE SummerSlam at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas on August 21st will be required to wear masks as part of the stadium's coronavirus safety protocols. The ruling comes from the state of Nevada, which reinstituted a mask mandate on July 30th thanks to the surge in cases from the delta variant and morons who won't get vaccinated because their manbaby former president cleanly lost an election.

The official poster for WWE SummerSlam
The official poster for WWE SummerSlam

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, and I always wear a mask, even when I'm by myself. I like the feeling of security it gives me, comrades. But your excellency, you ask, don't you have armed guards for that? And yes, my secret police have been instructed to shoot the coronavirus on sight, but you can never be too careful. A mask has never attempted a coup, after all.

Allegiant Stadium updated their coronavirus safety protocols for all events, not just SummerSlam, last week, writing:

Allegiant Stadium takes the health and safety of its guests, employees and staff very seriously. In response to rising COVID-19 cases, and in accordance with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and State of Nevada Emergency Directive 047, all individuals, regardless of vaccination status, must wear a face mask while inside the stadium.

The State of Nevada & CDC do not currently require proof of vaccination to attend events.

Allegiant Stadium's COVID-19 protocols are subject to change as additional information is discovered or provided by the State of Nevada & the CDC.

Individual events held at Allegiant Stadium may also implement heightened COVID-19 protocols, so please read all correspondence regarding an individual event carefully.

On a conference call Tuesday, AEW EVP Cody Rhodes said that AEW would also respect the state guidelines on coronavirus safety at AEW live events, though he noted fans are welcome to wear a mask if it makes them feel comfortable even if not required. As for SummerSlam, it's probably a good thing that masks will be required in that packed stadium. After all, wrestling fans aren't known for their basic personal hygiene, so the masks will not only help block the transmission of COVID-19, but the smelling of body odors as well. I'm sorry, amigos, but it's true.

Most of all, it's the exciting possibilities opened up by this mask mandate that interest your El Presidente. Do they apply to the wrestlers as well as the fans? If so, it can only mean one thing: the return of my favorite wrestler, Juan Cena!

Mask Mandate Booked for WWE SummerSlam in Las Vegas
Will John Cena's alter ego, Juan Cena, appear at Summerslam due to new mask mandate?

Until next time, my friends: socialism or death!

 

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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