WWE Raw – Randy Orton Mistakes Drew McIntyre's Head for a Football

SummerSlam is in the record books, but WWE Monday Night Raw carries on. It's the first night in the Thunderdome for Raw. And it's the debut of Keith Lee tonight. It should be interesting. And also long. But maybe we'll finally get some kind of reveal for Retribution, right?

The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.
The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.

WWE Raw Report for August 24th, 2020 Part 1

I gotta say, it is nice to see Raw open with pyro again. The virtual crowd is packed, and Tom Phillips welcomes us to the Thunderdome. No signs calling for Velveteen Dream to be fired… yet. It looks like Asuka will fact Sasha Banks in a rematch, which will be a lumberjack match, so Bayley can't interfere. That might actually help Sasha. Apollo Crews will face Bobby Lashley in an arm-wrestling competition, officiated by Mark Henry, according to Byron Saxton. And Dominik and Rey Mysterio will fight Seth Rollins and Murphy, Samoa Joe tells us. Phillips wastes no time and gets to talking about Roman Reigns returning last night. He, Braun Strowman, and The Fiend will fight for the title at Payback, it seems.

But that's later. Now, Drew McIntyre comes to the win. He beat Randy Orton last night without a single Claymore or RKO happening in their match. And in case you didn't know that, we get a recap of that match. Gotta build anticipation for the twenty-minute opening promo we're about to watch.

Raw Promo – Drew McIntyre

McIntyre welcomes us to Thunderdome and asks for a thumbs up from the virtual crowd. My god! Even McIntyre is coaching the crowd now! Don't tell us what to do, Drew!

Drew talks about his match last night — he's still the champion — and he'll reveal his secret. He's hungrier than Randy Orton, and he works harder. He steps up because he's proud to be WWE Champion. Drew McIntyre is happy to be here, damn it!

He also knows what it's like to feel desperate and not know where his next paycheck is coming from. Randy, on the other hand, is spoiled and coddled. Drew says Orton is the absolute best, but last night, Drew was better.

Drew brings up the Greatest Wrestling Match Ever (maybe it's all the fake crowd noise that reminds him of it) and Randy bragging about being the greatest wrestler ever. But last night, Drew beat Randy with a wrestling maneuver. So what does that make him?

Drew is looking forward to his next challenge, but he knows Randy won't let this go. Drew is down for a rematch, and he'll do what he didn't do last night: hit the Claymore.

Drew's music plays. Is he really gonna leave without someone coming out? Don't we have to book the show on the spot with the opening promo? This Thunderdome era makes no sense?

Drew stops to pose at the top of the ramp, and the camera angle doesn't show the stage, so you know what that means. Yup, Orton attacks him from behind. Now that's more like it. They brawl into Gorilla position, and this time we get a little glimpse of Vince. Orton gives McIntyre the punt kick.

Drew sells it Shawn Michaels style, trying to get to his feet. So Orton punts him again. Both of the punts look really bad, whiffing by a mile, a consequence of WWE talent being used to having Kevin Dunn's zillion camera cuts to disguise loose work. But them only being able to fit one camera into this particular room. Raw goes to commercials.

Drew is still trying to get up after the break. All that fast-moving air from Orton's foot whizzing by his head really took it out of him. Officials help him to his feet. Samoa Joe is impressed Drew was able to get up at all. Maybe he's been using blue chew.

We get a video promo for Keith Lee. Then we see Nia Jax walking backstage. Sarah Schrieber asks what she's doing here, due to being suspended. Nia tells Sarah to lean, and she whispers in her ear that she's related to The Rock. Shayna Baszler walks up and talks some trash. She compares Nia to Haystacks Calhoun but says Calhoun was better looking. Nia calls Shayna an Addams Family reject.

Bayley comes to the ring with Sasha Banks. Then Baszler comes out. Then Nia? Then commercials?!

Shayna Baszler vs. Bayley

  • Shayna commences murdering Bayley as soon as the bell rings.
  • After getting her shoulder worked, Bayley rolls outside for a breather.
  • Bayley comes back in and gets some offense in. Mostly headlock takedowns.
  • Shayna resumes the ass beating.
  • Bayley tries to roll her up and gets caught in a triangle. Sasha gets involved, distracting Shayna, and Bayley regains control.
  • Every move Bayley hits only seems to make Baszler angrier.
  • Baszler makes a comeback, but Bayley tosses her out of the ring, right in front of Nia. Nia resists for a minute but eventually attacks Shayna.

Jax tosses Shayna in the ring, and Banks and Bayley laugh as they fight. That makes Nia and Shayna both angry. They stop fighting each other and turn their attention to Banks and Bayley, who run away.

Kevin Owens is looking for Aleister Black's dressing room. He finds it. It's pitch black in there. Is Black still doing that gimmick? Owens tells Black it's almost time for the KO Show… after some commercials.

The KO Show Featuring Aleister Black

  • Kevin Owens is in the ring for the first KO Show in the Thunderdome.
  • He introduces Aleister Black, and Black comes out, wearing an eye patch.
  • Black reveals that it's national talk like a pirate day.
  • Oh, that's actually from Seth Rollins and Murphy trying to take his eyeball out.
  • Owens says everyone has been concerned by what Murphy did to him. How is he doing?
  • Black says they should show the footage. Owens is hesitant, but Black insists.
  • We see the footage.
  • Black is acting super awkward. Owens tries to power through it. He says he knows how Rollins can get under people's skin. Owens himself has done a lot of bad things in his career, but now he's trying to take a different path.
  • Black is so annoyed by Owens' yapping he collapses on the ground.
  • When Owens checks on him, Black elbows him in the head then hits him with Black Mass.

Ok then. Sasha and Bayley are arguing backstage when Charly Caruso shows up and says they barely escaped Baszler and Jax. Is that a question, Charly? Bayley says they didn't escape. They were just avoiding drama because Sasha needs to stay safe ahead of her match tonight. They say Sasha is gonna win tonight, but first, they're gonna take care of Baszler and Jax. Wait, didn't they just say…? Oh, nevermind. Raw goes to commercials.

Shelton Benjamin, Akira Tozawa, and Cedric Alexander are in the ring. R-Truth comes out and does his rap. The hardest-working man in show biz right there. The virtual WWE universe somehow manages to respond to Truth's call-out.

R-Truth vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Shelton Benjamin – WWE 24/7 Championship Fatal Four Way

  • Why is this a regular match?
  • Not too much to talk about here.
  • After tossing Alexander out, Benjamin powerbombs Akira Tozawa out of the ring onto his ninjas.
  • They catch him, and he gets back in as Truth tosses Benjamin.
  • Tozawa pins Truth.

The only good part of that was Truth's song. Sarah Schrieber asks Randy Orton if he has anything to say about his attack earlier. He says yes. Raw goes to commercials. We'll go to part two of this report. Click down below.

This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Raw Report for August 24th, 2020.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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