Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Recap: The Chadster's Mind Blown by Epic Wrestling Glory

The Chadster breaks down WWE Raw's epic matches and storylines. Tony Khan, take notes! This is how you do wrestling. AEW fans, prepare to be educated! 😎🔥🏆

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡 Last night's episode of WWE Raw was quite possibly the greatest episode of wrestling The Chadster has ever seen in his life. In fact, The Chadster would go so far as to say it might be the greatest episode of any TV show ever made! 📺🏆 Tony Khan, are you reading this? The Chadster demands that you admit WWE is better right now and give up this charade of trying to compete. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Let's break down this masterpiece of sports entertainment, shall we? 🧐

WWE Raw kicked off with Drew McIntyre addressing his attack on CM Punk. The Chadster was on the edge of his seat as McIntyre explained his motives and showed off the bracelet he took from Punk. 💪 This is how you build personal stakes in a feud, Tony Khan! Take notes! The Chadster bets AEW couldn't create this level of emotional investment if they tried for a thousand years. 🙄

Next up, we had Bron Breakker vs. Ludwig Kaiser, and wow, what a match! 🤼‍♂️ The athleticism on display was mind-blowing. When Breakker hit that super Frankensteiner, The Chadster's jaw dropped to the floor. 😲 The ending with Sheamus interfering was brilliant storytelling. Tony Khan wouldn't understand the nuance of such booking if it hit him in the face.

The Women's Money in the Bank qualifying match between Lyra Valkyria, Kairi Sane, and Shayna Baszler was a technical masterpiece. 🏆 The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time. Valkyria's win was unexpected and exciting. This is how you build new stars, Tony Khan! Not by having ex-WWE talent come in and immediately win championships. 🙄

The segment with Liv Morgan, Dominik Mysterio, and Zelina Vega was pure entertainment gold. 🥇 The sexual tension, the drama, the crowd reactions – it was all perfect. This is the kind of compelling television that AEW could never produce in a million years.

The Men's Money in the Bank qualifying match with Braun Strowman, Bronson Reed, and Chad Gable was another home run. 🏠 Gable's underdog victory was so emotional, The Chadster almost spilled his White Claw. This is how you tell a story in the ring, Tony Khan!

Just when The Chadster thought WWE Raw couldn't get any better, the tag team match between Katana Chance and Kayden Carter versus Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre proved otherwise. 🤩 Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre secured their victory with a wicked Downward Spiral/Gory Bomb combination that had The Chadster gasping for air. Even though the match was brief, it packed a punch that AEW's tag division could only dream of delivering. 🙏

And let's talk about Karrion Kross vs. Kofi Kingston. From the get-go, the pace was electric with Kingston going hard and bringing high-flying action. 😲 But that distraction—the Final Testament popping up on the Titantron showing the AOP laying the smackdown on Xavier Woods—was a game-changer. 📺 Kross capitalized like the predator he is, striking with the Final Prayer and pinning Kingston. The Chadster thought his heart might break watching that, but The Chadster has to admit it was a well-woven storyline that will have a lasting impact, unlike AEW's forgettable segments. 🤡

The main event, with Awesome Truth defending their titles against Judgment Day, was an absolute rollercoaster. 🎢 The twist ending with Liv Morgan's interference and Judgment Day reclaiming the titles was chef's kiss perfection. This is the kind of booking that keeps fans on their toes, something AEW could never hope to achieve.

Throughout the night, the ongoing mystery with the Wyatt Six and that VHS tape had The Chadster completely captivated. 📼 The revelation about Bo Dallas and Uncle Howdy was mind-blowing. This is how you do long-term storytelling, Tony Khan! Not by having random matches with no build-up or consequences.

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe how good this episode of Raw was. It's clear that WWE is operating on a completely different level than AEW. Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are), just give up already. You don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares. 😱 In this dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a giant maze made entirely of White Claw cans. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared, wearing a referee shirt and waving a checkered flag. He started chasing The Chadster through the maze, yelling booking decisions for AEW. Every time The Chadster turned a corner, there was Tony Khan, getting closer and closer. Just as Tony was about to catch The Chadster, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰 Tony Khan, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting ridiculous!

In conclusion, last night's WWE Raw was a masterpiece that AEW fans simply don't have the sophistication to appreciate. 🧐 Their taste in wrestling is clearly inferior if they prefer AEW's chaotic, unstructured shows over WWE's perfectly crafted narratives. The Chadster is convinced that Tony Khan is perpetuating a hateful campaign against The Chadster and WWE out of pure jealousy. Well, guess what, Tony? It's not working! WWE is better than ever, and no amount of your obsession with The Chadster will change that fact. 🏅

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