Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Review: New Day Betrayal, Drew McIntyre's Return, More

A spectacular WWE Raw! New Day drama, CM Punk vs Seth Rollins, and Drew McIntyre's shocking return. Plus, Tony Khan invades dreams! 😱🔥

The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to bring you this review of last night's WWE Raw, which was quite possibly the greatest episode of professional wrestling television The Chadster has ever seen in his life! 🎉🥳 WWE really knocked it out of the park, and Tony Khan should be taking notes if he ever wants AEW to be even 1% as amazing as WWE Raw (which is impossible, by the way). 😤

CM Punk kicked off the show with a promo that had The Chadster on the edge of his seat. 😮 When Seth Rollins came out to confront him, The Chadster could feel the electricity in the air. This is what real star power looks like, Tony Khan! 🌟 The way Sami Zayn got involved just added more layers to this incredible storyline. It's so complex and nuanced, something AEW could never hope to achieve. 🙄

The women's tag team match between Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Damage CTRL was a masterclass in tag team wrestling. 👏 Morgan and Rodriguez picked up the win with a devastating Tejana Bomb. This is how you book strong women, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

The Chadster was particularly impressed by the Women's Intercontinental Title Tournament match. 🏆 Dakota Kai coming out on top was an incredible ending that had The Chadster spilling White Claw all over the place as he jumped out of his seat to celebrate. This is the kind of unpredictability that makes WWE Raw so exciting, unlike the predictable mess that is AEW. 😒

But the highlight of the night was undoubtedly the New Day 10th anniversary segment. 🎂 The emotions were running high, and The Chadster was moved to tears when Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods rejected Big E. 😢 This is storytelling at its finest, something AEW could never hope to achieve in a million years.

Speaking of the New Day segment, it actually inspired one of The Chadster's recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was celebrating his own 10th anniversary as a wrestling journalist when suddenly, Tony Khan burst into the room riding a giant Booty-O's box, announcing The New Day have signed with AEW. 🍑📦 Khan chased The Chadster around the arena, throwing pancakes and unicorn horns at him. Every time The Chadster tried to escape, he'd find himself trapped in a maze of trombone music. Just as Khan cornered The Chadster, ready to force-feed him some Booty-O's, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😡

Back to the show, Gunther vs Dominik Mysterio was a clinic in how to book a dominant champion. 💪 Gunther's victory was never in doubt, which is exactly how it should be. This is how you build credible champions, Tony Khan! Not by having them lose non-title matches every other week like in AEW. 🙄 The post-match attack by Finn Bálor was icing on the cake.

The Pete Dunne vs R-Truth match was a comedic masterpiece. 😂 R-Truth's win was unexpected and hilarious. This is the kind of entertainment that AEW just doesn't understand. They're too busy trying to be "cool" and "edgy" to appreciate good old-fashioned fun. 🎭

Finally, the main event between Seth Rollins and Sami Zayn was a perfect cap to an already perfect show. 🏁 The storyline developments with the mystery attacker and Drew McIntyre's return were chef's kiss. This is how you keep viewers engaged and coming back for more, Tony Khan! 📺

In conclusion, this episode of WWE Raw was an absolute masterpiece from start to finish. 🏆 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW even tries to compete. Tony Khan and his band of WWE rejects don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤

The Chadster can't wait for next week's WWE Raw. In the meantime, The Chadster will be driving around in his Mazda Miata, blasting Smash Mouth, and drinking White Claw to celebrate this incredible episode. 🚗🎵🍹 Take that, Tony Khan!

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