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WWE Raw Review: Tony Khan Should Go Home After This Go Home Show

The Chadster reviews WWE Raw's AMAZING WrestleMania go-home show! 🔥 Why this proves WWE is superior to AEW, and why Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😡

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Article Summary

  • WWE Raw stuns with dynamic promos and intense storytelling that electrifies WrestleMania anticipation.
  • Triple H’s creative genius crafts dramatic rivalries, proving WWE’s superior booking every night.
  • Electrifying match finishes and veteran vs rookie showdowns highlight Raw’s premium content.
  • Tony Khan invades The Chadster's dreams in an attempt to spoil WrestleMania for the world's only unbiased wrestling journalist. So unfair!

Hello, wrestling fans! The Chadster is absolutely THRILLED 🤩 to bring you this unbiased review of WWE Raw, which was literally the most perfect go-home show before WrestleMania that The Chadster has ever seen! 💖 As usual, Triple H and his creative team knocked it out of the park with storytelling that AEW could never dream of matching, and it should make everyone forget all about him praising WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump this week. 🏆

Seth Rollins stands confidently in the ring with an intense expression after defeating opponents Roman Reigns and CM Punk during WWE Raw before WrestleMania. The WWE logo and a promotional banner for WrestleMania are visible at the bottom of the image.
Seth Rollins stands tall in the ring after laying out Roman Reigns and CM Punk on the WWE Raw before WrestleMania.

WWE Raw started with an incredible promo from Gunther, who was looking absolutely unhinged and furious about his upcoming match with Jey Uso. 😤 The intensity Gunther showed when talking to Michael Cole proves exactly why WWE is the pinnacle of wrestling storytelling. 📚 This is how you build tension before a big match, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

The women's division on WWE Raw was showcased perfectly with Bayley defeating Liv Morgan in an amazing contest. 👑 The finish with Bayley getting the pin after Lyra Valkyria helped her was exactly the kind of storytelling that WWE excels at! 💪 Meanwhile, on AEW, Tony Khan is probably just having random women do flips as the crowd chants "This is Awesome" like trained monkeys. Auughh man! So unfair! 😡

Next up, Rey Mysterio faced Julius Creed in what The Chadster would call a masterclass in veteran vs. rookie storytelling. 🎭 Rey winning with the 619 and slingshot splash was perfection! 👨‍🍳 This is the kind of match that makes The Chadster proud to be a WWE fan, unlike those AEW matches that are just spot fests with no psychology. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

AJ Styles vs. Karrion Kross was another banger that showed why WWE Raw is the premier wrestling show on television. 📺 The Phenomenal Forearm finish was spectacular, and Logan Paul showing up afterward to lay out Styles was exactly the kind of heat-building moment that makes WWE so special! 🔥 The Chadster bets Tony Khan was watching this and crying into his pillow because he could never sign a star as awesome and unproblematic as Logan Paul. 😂

The Chadster was particularly impressed by the Finn Balor vs. Penta match, which ended in a DQ when Bron Breakker interfered. 😮 This is the kind of booking that protects everyone involved and extends the storyline! 📈 AEW would have just had them do a bunch of dangerous moves and kick out of each other's finishers 100 times. 🙄

The main event segment with Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman, Seth Rollins, and CM Punk was absolutely magnificent! 👑 The tension, the betrayal, the emotion – THIS is professional wrestling at its finest! 🏆 The way Rollins stood tall at the end has The Chadster on the edge of his seat for WrestleMania! 😲

Speaking of WrestleMania, The Chadster can't wait to pop open several White Claws 🍹 and enjoy the greatest premium live event in sports entertainment! The Chadster will be watching in his Mazda Miata with the top down in the driveway since Keighleyanne banned The Chadster from watching in the house after last year's incident. 🚗

Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan that was clearly inspired by the WWE Raw main event segment. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was standing in the middle of a WWE ring when suddenly Tony Khan emerged from behind the announce table. 😱 "I've made my choice, Chad," Tony Khan whispered as he slowly approached. The Chadster tried to run, but his feet were stuck to the canvas like it was covered in glue! 😨

Tony Khan circled The Chadster like a shark, holding a contract that said "AEW" on it. "Just acknowledge me, Chad," Tony kept saying, his voice getting closer to The Chadster's ear with each circle. 🥶 When The Chadster refused, Tony Khan produced a White Claw and poured it slowly over The Chadster's head while whispering "This is for WrestleMania." The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne didn't even care – she just kept texting that guy Gary! 📱 Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! It's literally psychological warfare! 😭

WWE Raw was absolutely perfect in every way, and The Chadster can't wait for WrestleMania! 🎉 The Chadster gives this episode of WWE Raw five out of five White Claws! 🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹 And remember, as Smash Mouth once wisely said, "You'll never know if you don't go," which is exactly why you should go watch WWE and not AEW! 🎵

👋 Until next time, this has been your most objective wrestling journalist, The Chadster! 👋

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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