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WWE Royal Rumble Comes to Tampa Bay in 2024 for 37th Event

Comrades! WWE invades Tampa Bay in 2024 with the explosive 37th Royal Rumble event. Let's dive into the thrilling details!


Greetings, comrades! Coming at you direct from the luxuriously gilded sitting room of my guerrilla hideaway bunker, it is I, your favorite Marxist mole, El Presidente! You may be surprised to find out that even in the jungles of Latin America, we can appreciate a good leotard and a well-executed suplex, especially if it is witnessed in glorious HD on a flat-screen TV hidden inside a bookcase that pops out at the press of a secret button, for when the CIA satellites are scanning.

Royal Rumble
Royal Rumble

In today's titillating news, my telepathic parrot informed me that Tampa Bay will host the grand 37th Royal Rumble in 2024! Ah, such thrilling news! Even from all the way out here, I can feel the sweaty thrills and spills to come. The WWE, a part of the newly formed capitalist monstrosity TKO Group Holdings, in alliance with Tampa Bay Rays, Visit St. Pete/Clearwater, and the Tampa Bay Sports Commission, have announced this, bringing both joy and intense curiosity amongst us wrestling enthusiasts.

This fantastically violent and beautifully choreographed event will take over the entire Tampa Bay area. With the Royal Rumble at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg on Saturday, Jan. 27, and then Monday Night Raw emanating like a burst of capitalist fireworks from Amalie Arena in Tampa on Jan. 29. Comrades, it's been since 1995 – a year I recall fondly for the first time I used pro wrestling moves against invading American CIA agents – that the Royal Rumble was held in Tampa Bay.

This grand spectacle will surely turn up the heat, with two fiery Royal Rumble matches, one of 30-men, the other of 30-women. The victors from each, receive a golden ticket giving them the opportunity to participate in the Championship match at WrestleMania 40! Reminds me of the time I wrestled Kim Jong-Un in a winner-get-all match for the last slice of pizza. Aha good times…good times.

The heads of power residing in the WWE mentioned that Tampa Bay has always been a fertile ground for wrestling spectacle. Indeed, it seems fitting that Tampa Bay Rays President, Matt Silverman, is thrilled to welcome back the WWE to his territory. Silverman promises a first-class experience for both those feeling the smackdown cage-side and those watching worldwide.

The 2024 Royal Rumble follows the footprints of this year's massive event in San Antonio, Texas. This epic battle saw some record-breaking, money-making, and viewer-shaking numbers with a staggering gate record of over $7.7 million dollars! I managed to tune in from my secret moon base. The signal was excellent.

I, for one, cannot wait to watch the world's biggest wrestling soap opera unfold in the comfort of my secret lair. And if there are any CIA agents planning on interrupting my viewing party, be warned – the last one ended up in a headlock while I made him tap out to the soothing melodies of the Soviet national anthem. Let that be a lesson, comrades!

Stay tuned for more updates on the ticket release, but until then, keep practicing those headlocks. This is El Presidente, signing off. Viva la lucha libre!


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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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