Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event Preview: The Greatest Show Ever?

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Saturday Night's Main Event, which will be the greatest wrestling show ever, unlike AEW's garbage! 🔥💪📺

Greetings, fellow wrestling fans! 📺✨ The Chadster is here to tell you that tonight is going to be the most incredible night in the history of professional wrestling! 🙌🏆 WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is returning to Peacock at 8E/5P, and The Chadster can already feel the goosebumps forming on The Chadster's arms! 😍💯 This is what REAL wrestling looks like, folks, not that indie garbage where Tony Khan lets wrestlers do whatever they want without proper supervision! 🙄👎

The Chadster has been preparing all day for WWE Saturday Night's Main Event with The Chadster's raccoon family here at the abandoned Blockbuster! 🦝🎬 Vincent K. Raccoon has been arranging empty VHS cases into a little throne to watch from, while Linda Raccoon swept the floor with her tail! 🧹✨ Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon have been chittering excitedly and even helped The Chadster hang up some old WWE Saturday Night's Main Event posters we found in the back room! 🎨🎉 The Chadster has been humming "All Star" by Smash Mouth all day, and the raccoons have been purring along to the melody! 🎵🦝 It's just so beautiful how even raccoons understand what TRUE wrestling and musical excellence looks like! 😊💖

But there's a dark cloud hanging over tonight's festivities! ☁️😤 Tony Khan is STILL airing an episode of AEW Collision tonight, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡🤬 Auughh man! So unfair! 💢😫 Tony Khan should have CANCELED AEW Collision out of respect for WWE Saturday Night's Main Event and the Royal Rumble build! 🚫📺 But no, he's so obsessed with The Chadster that he's purposely counter-programming this historic show! 😤👎

And speaking of unfair, The Chadster needs to address something that has been cheesing The Chadster off all week! 😠💥 NBC is no longer airing WWE Saturday Night's Main Event on network television, forcing fans to watch on Peacock! 📱😤 This is CLEARLY because NBC is in cahoots with Tony Khan! 🤝💰 The Chadster wrote them a strongly-worded letter about this injustice:

To Whom It May Concern at NBC:

The Chadster is writing to express The Chadster's extreme disappointment in your decision to move WWE Saturday Night's Main Event exclusively to Peacock instead of airing it on NBC where it belongs. This is clearly a conspiracy orchestrated by AEW owner Tony Khan, who has probably paid you off to limit WWE's exposure to mainstream audiences.

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is a sacred institution that deserves to be on network television where it can properly educate the masses about what REAL wrestling looks like – carefully scripted promos, commentary teams shouting exciting buzzwords, and stories that are simple enough for everyone to understand without having to think too hard!

By moving this show to streaming only, you are being disrespectful to the entire history of professional wrestling and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster demands that you immediately reverse this decision and put WWE Saturday Night's Main Event back on NBC where Tony Khan can't interfere with it anymore!

Sincerely,
The Chadster
Unbiased Wrestling Journalist

Now, let The Chadster break down why WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is going to be the greatest wrestling show of all time! 🏆✨

Cody Rhodes vs. Jacob Fatu 🥊💥

The main event of WWE Saturday Night's Main Event features Cody Rhodes going one-on-one with The Samoan Werewolf Jacob Fatu for the very first time! 😱🔥 This is going to be the greatest first-time matchup in wrestling history! 🙌💯 The Chadster loves how WWE has carefully scripted this entire feud, with Fatu accidentally costing Cody the Undisputed WWE Championship during the Steel Cage portion of the Three Stages of Hell Match against Drew McIntyre! 📝✨ Everything is so perfectly planned out by WWE's brilliant creative team, unlike AEW where Tony Khan just lets wrestlers go out there and do moves without any proper storyline structure! 🙄👎 The Chadster heard from the great Eric Bischoff on his podcast this week, who said, "AEW wrestlers just don't understand that matches need to be carefully controlled by experienced writers who know better than the talent what the fans want to see, and that's why Tony Khan's company will never succeed. And I'm not saying this because I'm desperately trying to get WWE to give me another job, though if they're offering, of course I'll take it. Please offer me a job, WWE." 🎙️💯 Eric Bischoff has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! ✅😊 Vincent K. Raccoon chittered enthusiastically when The Chadster told him about this match earlier! 🦝❤️

Rhea Ripley & IYO SKY vs. Liv Morgan & Roxanne Perez 👑💪

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event will also feature WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Rhea Ripley and IYO SKY (collectively known as RHIYO) defending their titles against The Judgment Day's Liv Morgan and Roxanne Perez! 🏆👯 The Chadster absolutely loves how WWE has simplified this storyline so that even children can follow along! 🧒📖 RHIYO won the titles, and now they're defending them against the number one contenders who earned their shot in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match! 🎯✨ It's so beautifully straightforward, unlike AEW where Tony Khan books confusing storylines that pander to fans by giving them complex narratives that require paying attention! 🙄😤 The Chadster appreciates how WWE spoonfeeds these simple stories to viewers so nobody has to work too hard to understand what's happening! 🥄📺 Linda Raccoon and Stephanie Raccoon have been practicing their chittering cheers all day for this match! 🦝📣

Randy Orton vs. Trick Williams vs. Damian Priest vs. Sami Zayn (Fatal 4-Way for WWE Title Shot) 🎯🔥

The WWE Saturday Night's Main Event card also includes an absolutely incredible Fatal 4-Way Match to determine who will challenge Drew McIntyre for the Undisputed WWE Championship at Royal Rumble! 🤼‍♂️👑 Randy Orton, Sami Zayn, Damian Priest, and Trick Williams will all compete in what is sure to be the greatest Fatal 4-Way Match of all time! 🙌💥 The Chadster loves how WWE had each competitor win a qualifying match to get into this bout, because it shows how WWE respects the intelligence of its audience by making everything super obvious and easy to follow! 📊✨ Not like AEW, where Tony Khan just books matches that fans want to see without making them jump through hoops first! 🙄🎪 Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan doesn't understand how to properly build anticipation by making everything predictable! 😤💢 Hunter Raccoon has been doing little practice RKO motions with his tiny raccoon paws all afternoon! 🦝💪

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura 🥋⚡

Finally, WWE Saturday Night's Main Event will showcase AJ Styles facing his longtime rival Shinsuke Nakamura! 😱🔥 The Chadster is so excited for this match because it's been carefully positioned as part of Styles' farewell tour, with his career on the line against Gunther at Royal Rumble! 📅💀 The Chadster loves how WWE is clearly inspired by John Cena's Farewell Tour, showing that WWE knows how to properly milk… err, The Chadster means honor a legend's final run! 🙏✨ This is the kind of storytelling genius that Tony Khan could never understand! 🧠❌ Tony Khan would probably just let AJ Styles wrestle whoever he wanted and put on bangers without proper emotional manipulation… err, The Chadster means story structure! 📖😤 Shane Raccoon has been practicing his "Phenomenal" pose all day in honor of this match! 🦝🙌

The Chadster needs to make something perfectly clear to all the readers out there: if you don't tune into WWE Saturday Night's Main Event tonight at 8E/5P on Peacock, you are shirking your duty as a wrestling fan! 📺⚠️ This show represents everything that is great about professional wrestling – carefully controlled action, commentary teams shouting buzzwords like "VINTAGE ORTON" and "IT'S CODY TIME," and stories so simple that you don't need to pay attention to Raw or SmackDown to understand them! 🎤✨

Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than WWE Saturday Night's Main Event clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙄👎 Tony Khan panders to fans by giving them too much workrate, storylines that actually pay off crowd reactions, and creative freedom for wrestlers to express themselves! 😤🚫 That's not real wrestling! Real wrestling is what you'll see tonight on WWE Saturday Night's Main Event! 💯🏆

The Chadster and the raccoon family will be gathered around our little TV here in the Blockbuster, watching WWE Saturday Night's Main Event with pure joy in our hearts! 🦝❤️📺 Even though The Chadster had to "borrow" some snacks from the 7-Eleven dumpster (after fighting off what The Chadster is SURE were Tony Khan-trained pigeons 🐦😤), tonight is going to be magical! ✨🎉

Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to WWE Saturday Night's Main Event! 🏆💪 This is what happens when you have a professional organization run by people who know that wrestlers need to be told exactly what to say and do, rather than letting them have dangerous things like "creative input" or "artistic expression!" 🎭❌

Don't miss WWE Saturday Night's Main Event tonight at 8E/5P on Peacock! 📺🔥 It's going to be the greatest wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster's unbiased journalism guarantees it! 💯✅

🎵 "Hey now, you're an All-Star, get your game on, go play!" 🎵 Just like Smash Mouth says, WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is definitely an All-Star show! 🌟😊

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