Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: Montreal Learns What Real Wrestling Is

The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown from Montreal! Cena's brilliance, perfect formulaic matches, and why Tony Khan could never book wrestling this professionally!

The Chadster just finished watching WWE SmackDown from Montreal, and wow! 😍 This was exactly the kind of professional wrestling show that makes The Chadster remember why WWE is the gold standard of sports entertainment! Unlike certain billionaire-owned companies that shall remain nameless (but rhyme with "A-E-W"), WWE SmackDown delivered a perfectly scripted, wonderfully predictable night of entertainment that didn't make The Chadster feel unsafe or uncomfortable even once! 💪

John Cena opened the show with exactly the kind of carefully crafted promo that only WWE's team of professional television writers could produce! 📝 The way Cena delivered those pre-written lines about being afraid was so much better than when wrestlers speak from the heart naturally like in that other company. The Chadster loved how Logan Paul and Drew McIntyre came out at precisely the right moments – you could tell the producers had this timed to perfection!

And can The Chadster just say one more time how brilliant WWE's storytelling has been with Cena? 🏆 The way they had him act like a heel for months, only to reveal last week that he was just kidding the whole time, right before his big SummerSlam match against Cody Rhodes – that's the kind of 4D chess booking that puts the Cena/Rhodes story right up there with Stone Cold vs. The Rock, Macho Man vs. Hulk Hogan, and Baron Corbin vs. Roman Reigns as one of the greatest feuds of all time! Tony Khan could never understand such sophisticated storytelling!

Now, The Chadster knows some people are talking about Brock Lesnar's return and some supposed scandal, but the REAL scandal is the rumors about MVP and the Hurt Syndicate causing chaos backstage in AEW! 😤 That's the only backstage drama wrestling fans should be paying attention to, not whatever nonsense people are trying to say about WWE!

The Motor City Machine Guns vs. JC Mateo and Talla Tonga was exactly the kind of formulaic tag match The Chadster loves! 👏 They followed the classic WWE formula perfectly – faces start strong, heels take control, hot tag attempt, and a nice clean finish. None of that dangerous high-flying nonsense or improvisation that Tony Khan lets his wrestlers do! Auughh man! So unfair that AEW wrestlers are allowed to just do whatever moves they want without proper producer guidance!

Sami Zayn defeating Solo Sikoa in Montreal was such a feel-good moment! 🇨🇦 The Chadster appreciated how WWE's writers gave the hometown hero exactly the right amount of shine without going overboard like a certain company that just panders to crowds for cheap pops. It's important that, even in their hometown, no wrestler gets more over than The Brand. The match followed WWE's tried-and-true formula perfectly, with none of that "creative freedom" that makes matches so unpredictable and scary in AEW!

The birthday celebration segment with Alexa Bliss and Charlotte was television perfection! 🎂 The way they hit every scripted beat, from the oversized cake to the predictable cake-in-the-face spot with Chelsea Green – this is what professional wrestling should be! The Chadster loved how Wade Barrett and Joe Tessitore shouted their catchphrases over and over during the match between Flair and Green, unlike AEW's commentary team who just tries to call the action naturally. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW doesn't follow WWE's proven formula!

The tag team main event with Cena and Rhodes versus Paul and McIntyre was booked exactly how The Chadster expected, and that's what made it so great! 🌟 The DQ finish protected everyone involved, maintaining that beautiful 50/50 booking that keeps everyone at the same level. None of that win-loss record nonsense that Tony Khan obsesses over!

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another one of those nightmares that Tony Khan managed to insert himself into! 😰 The Chadster was in the Bell Centre in Montreal, sitting in the front row enjoying WWE SmackDown, when suddenly the lights went out. When they came back on, Tony Khan was standing in the ring, dressed exactly like John Cena in his jorts and "You Can't See Me" shirt, but with a twisted smile on his face.

"Time for your farewell tour, Chad," he whispered into the microphone, his voice echoing through the empty arena – because suddenly everyone else had vanished! 👻 The Chadster tried to run, but the aisles had transformed into an endless maze of AEW merchandise tables. Every turn The Chadster made, there was Tony Khan, sometimes dressed as Logan Paul, looking handsome as ever, sometimes as Drew McIntyre with a kilt that was far too short, revealing his pale legs that somehow glistened under the arena lights.

The Chadster ran toward the exit, but the doors led backstage where Tony Khan had set up a birthday party just like Charlotte and Alexa's, except the cake had The Chadster's face on it and "WE ARE FRIENDS" written in blood-red frosting! 🎂 Tony Khan picked up a piece of cake with his bare hands, the frosting dripping between his fingers as he slowly licked them clean while maintaining unblinking eye contact with The Chadster. "Eat the cake, Chad," he commanded in a voice that wasn't quite his own. "Join my farewell tour…"

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat at 3 AM! Why does Tony Khan insist on invading The Chadster's subconscious?! 😡 This proves he's completely obsessed with The Chadster!

WWE SmackDown once again proved why it's the superior wrestling product! 💯 As wrestling journalist Bully Ray said on his show this week, "WWE SmackDown's formulaic approach and predictable booking is exactly what the wrestling business needs. Tony Khan should take notes instead of letting his wrestlers have creative freedom like some kind of anarchist!" The Chadster couldn't agree more with this completely unbiased take that definitely deserves the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval!

The Chadster is going to stick some Seagram's Escapes Spiked in the freezer so The Chadster can boof them later while watching a replay of this episode! 🍹 It was so dang good that The Chadster needs to see it again, maybe even a third time! Keighleyanne is still refusing to let The Chadster drink openly, so The Chadster has to go all covert. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan! 😤

Remember readers, keep supporting WWE SmackDown and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan and AEW! The Chadster knows that together, we can ensure WWE maintains its rightful monopoly on the wrestling business! 🙌

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