Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: Why Everything AEW Does is Wrong

The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown and explains why its predictable perfection proves Tony Khan doesn't understand wrestling! Plus another nightmare with you-know-who! 😱

The Chadster just watched WWE SmackDown and wow! 🤩 What an absolutely perfect episode of professional wrestling television! The Chadster is literally shaking with excitement over how formulaic and predictable everything was – exactly the way wrestling should be! 💯

The episode kicked off with some classic WWE storytelling as Solo Sikoa and the MFT's were involved in a mysterious car accident. The Chadster loves how WWE keeps things simple and doesn't try to be all edgy and unpredictable like Tony Khan would do. Auughh man! So unfair that AEW tries to surprise viewers with unexpected twists when WWE SmackDown knows exactly what the fans need – reliable, safe storytelling! 🚗💥

Charlotte Flair vs Raquel Rodriguez was exactly what The Chadster expected – a standard WWE women's match with the exact same moves in the exact same order that The Chadster has seen a thousand times before! And that's what makes it perfect! Why fix what isn't broken? 🙌 Charlotte winning with a superkick after Alexa Bliss interfered was so beautifully predictable. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW lets their women wrestle different styles and improvise spots!

The Carmelo Hayes vs Damian Priest match ended in a DQ when Aleister Black interfered, and The Chadster couldn't be happier! 😊 See, this is what Tony Khan doesn't understand – fans don't want clean finishes and satisfying conclusions! They want DQ finishes that protect everyone involved and ensure nobody looks weak! The way Hayes and Priest carefully executed their choreographed spots without any dangerous improvisation was perfect!

The segment with Solo Sikoa calling out Jacob Fatu was masterful WWE television! 📺 The way Solo blamed Fatu for being selfish, only for Fatu to arrive in a police car (cleared of charges!) and team with Jimmy Uso to clear the ring was so perfectly scripted! The Chadster especially loved when Adam Pearce announced the steel cage match and had Solo arrested! 👮‍♂️ It reminded The Chadster of that time the neighbors called the cops on The Chadster for shouting at Tony Khan in the backyard at 3AM (even though Tony Khan was definitely hiding in the bushes watching The Chadster). The way Solo got handcuffed and led away by local indie wrestlers pretending to be cops was first class storytelling. The Chadster wouldn't be surprised if Jimmy Uso was behind the car accident, or perhaps Jeff Hardy.

Stephanie Vaquer defeated Alba Fyre in a quick 2-minute match, which is exactly the right amount of time for a match on WWE SmackDown! 👏 Tony Khan would probably give them 15 minutes to tell some elaborate story, but WWE knows that fans just want to see the same basic moves and get to the next talking segment!

The fatal four-way tag match was incredible because The Chadster could predict every single spot before it happened! 🎯 Andrade and Rey Fenix winning was perfect because it sets up more formulaic tag team matches in the future! The Chadster especially loved how the commentators shouted their catchphrases and glazed the WWE brand over and over during the match – so much better than AEW's commentary that talk the way normal human beings do!

But the highlight was definitely the contract signing between Cody Rhodes and John Cena! 🌟 The way they turned it into a street fight was so perfectly scripted by WWE's team of professional television writers! None of that authentic emotion or improvised violence that Tony Khan allows – just good, safe, predetermined action that The Chadster could see coming from a mile away!

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night after watching WWE SmackDown. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was trapped in the Frost Bank Center after the show ended. The lights went dark and suddenly Tony Khan appeared, dressed like Solo Sikoa, chasing The Chadster through the empty arena. His footsteps echoed behind The Chadster as The Chadster ran up and down the entrance ramp, but no matter where The Chadster turned, Tony was there, whispering "Watch Dynamite" in The Chadster's ear.

The worst part was when The Chadster tried to hide under the ring, only to find Tony already there, covered in baby oil and doing the Jacob Fatu dance. The way his body moved in the shadows… The Chadster means, it was terrifying! Not… whatever else someone might think! 😳 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! He's clearly obsessed with The Chadster!

You know who agrees with The Chadster? Eric Bischoff, who said on his podcast just this week: "WWE SmackDown understands that wrestling fans want consistency and reliable booking. AEW's chaotic approach of letting wrestlers call their own shots and surprising the audience is exactly why they'll never compete with WWE's superior product." 🎙️ See? Bischoff has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval because he understands that WWE's way is the only right way!

The Chadster is would love to grab some Seagram's Escapes Spiked 🍹 (the only adult beverage for real wrestling fans, unlike that weak White Claw that Tony Khan probably drinks) and watch a replay of WWE SmackDown right now because it was so dang good that The Chadster needs to see it again! Maybe even a third time! But unfortunately, Keighleyanne has still not returned The Chadster's alcohol privileges after Tony Khan literally forced The Chadster to throw multiple cans of Seagram's at the television while watching AEW's PPV last weekend. The Chadster can't even watch it in the Mazda Miata with "All Star" by Smash Mouth playing on repeat because Keighleyanne still won't give The Chadster back his keys! 🚗🎵 So unfair that Keighleyanne (and probably that guy Gary she's always texting too) are COLLUDING with Tony Khan to RUIN THE CHADSTER's LIFE!

Readers, please continue supporting WWE and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan and AEW! 💪 WWE SmackDown proves week after week that wrestling should be safe, predictable, and written by Hollywood professionals – not dangerous, spontaneous, and created by the wrestlers themselves like Tony Khan allows! The Chadster will keep fighting the good fight for unbiased wrestling journalism!

Until next time, this is The Chadster reminding you that WWE SmackDown is the A-show, and Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😤✊

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!