Well, SummerSlam is almost over, and so far, we haven't had that moment to pay off the tagline: "you'll never see it coming." Unless you count Drew McIntyre winning by a backslide. And if that was the surprise, well. I won't be happy.
WWE SummerSlam Report Part 5
There's one more match for SummerSlam tonight, the main event. I'm actually pleasantly surprised this is the main event. It's definitely the longest-built of the feuds playing out tonight. I don't foresee it being a long match though. We see a video package for Braun Strowman vs Bray Wyatt. The Fiend comes to the ring. Braun comes out to massive boos. I guess that answers any questions about who the heel is in this match. I mean, I always knew, but in case you didn't.
Braun Strowman vs. The Fiend – WWE Universal Championship Match
- This match is Falls Count Anywhere.
- Strowman attacks the Fiend early but The Fiend laughs it off and takes Braun down. Braun rolls outside.
- The Fiend follows and grabs a toolbox from under the ring. He hits Strowman with it and laughs some more.
- He prepares the announce table to put Braun through it. Hopefully, it's not the same one Orton was trying to put Drew through. That table doesn't sell for shit.
- We don't get to find out though because Strowman attacks and charges through the barricade with The Fiend.
- Strowman chokeslams Fiend on the table, and it's a sick thud. It's that same table, and it still doesn't go down. After the impact, the top gently slides down but most of the table is still standing.
- Strowman beats on Fiend with the steel stairs then throws him in the ring and hits a Powerslam, but The Fiend kicks out. Strowman mouths, "What the f**k?!"
- Fiend rolls outside, the ramp side this time, and Strowman follows. They brawl up the ramp and onto the stage. Then backstage into Gorilla. They manage not to show Vince on camera the whole time, which I think is a mistake. There's no way I believe Vince isn't there for SummerSlam in the Thunderdome.
- They brawl back out onto the stage and Fiend is now in control. Braun is bleeding from the top of his head. Fiend drags him back down to ringside.
- Corey Graves theorizes that the reason is that"both of these entities want to destroy each other in front of the WWE Universe." Cringe, Graves.
- Fiend puts the Mandible Claw on Strowman, but Strowman fights out of it.
- Strowman takes control of the fight. He brings The Fiend inside for another Powerslam, but Fiend still kicks out.
- Strowman heads outside and grabs a box cutter from the toolbox. He heads back in and uses it to cut open the mat.
- He pulls up the padding and exposes the wood. Strowman is gonna go Jon Moxley on The Fiend!
- But The Fiend is up and he hits a urinage and Sister Abigail on the wood. Then he picks up Strowman and hits a second Sister Abigail. The Fiend gets the win and becomes new Universal Champion.
Okay, now what? Where is my big twist? Where is the thing we were never gonna see coming? What about the SummerSlam tagline?!
ROMAN REIGNS! Roman Reigns comes out of nowhere and spears The Fiend! He pounds on him! He heads outside and spears Strowman! He grabs a chair and beats the crap out of Strowman. The crowd, such as it is, seems to be loving this. Roman heads back in the ring and spears The Fiend again. Roman is wearing a t-shirt that says "Wreck Everyone and Leave." He grabs the Universal Championship. "This has always been mine. You're just a freak in a mask. You can't handle the responsibility." He calls him his bitch. "It's always gonna be mine." SummerSlam goes off the air.
SummerSlam – Did It Suck?
Okay, you know what? I never saw that coming. No idea at all. So after a pretty good street fight between Strowman and The Fiend, in the SummerSlam main event Roman Reigns makes his long-awaited return and he's both changed his wardrobe, finally, and according to his t-shirt slogan, has taken on the persona of badass who just beats people up that people have always said he should have. So WWE keeps a big return a secret and then makes changes to a character that people asked for? Yes, that really was the surprise of the century!
SummerSlam wasn't a perfect show by any means. Some of the matches fell flat. But Sasha vs. Asuka delivered, Orton vs. McIntyre delivered (as a start-of-feud match, assuming that's what it is), and Strowman vs. Fiend delivered. Mandy vs. Sonya and Mysterio vs. Rollins were okay. The tag title match sucked. The United States Championship match was pointless. Bayley vs. Asuka wasn't bad but it was really just a set up for Banks/Asuka later. So overall, more good than bad, and they really stuck the ending. I know I'm excited for Roman Reigns to be back, and that's not something I ever thought I'd say, so I have to grade this PPV as thoroughly Sports Entertaining.
The MVP of SummerSlam? That announce table. That thing took everything everybody had to throw at it and still didn't go down! Let's book it against Roman for Payback.