Posted in: Comics | Tagged: marvel, x-men, X-ual Healing - The Weekly X-Men Recap Column

Wolverine and Cyclops: X-Problem Solvers [X-ual Healing 3-6-19]

Published Sun, 10 Mar 2019 17:00:46 -0500

No drama to address this week folks, so let's just get right to the internet's number one weekly X-Men recap column, X-ual Healing. We read all the X-Books that come out each week so you don't have to! But even if you did read 'em, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Let's get on with things…

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but with a corporate merger on the way, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.

Uncanny X-Men #13
(W) Matthew Rosenberg (A/CA) Salvador Larroca
Cyclops and Wolverine have drawn together a new team of X-Men from the ashes of "X-Men Disassembled," and now they turn their eyes to setting their agenda. Cyclops has a list…a list of things the X-Men have to take care of…if it's the last thing they ever do.
Rated T+
In Shops: Mar 06, 2019
SRP: $3.99

Following the events of last issue, the last X-Men on Earth — Cyclops, Wolverine, Magik, Wolfsbane, Mirage, Karma, and Havok — gather at Harry's Hideaway, their new base of operations, for a post-mortem. Cyclops has a list of all the "problems" he thinks the X-Men should "solve" if they're going to be the last of their kind:

Also, it's mentioned in passing that the young green-skinned mutant with lots of eyes who was rescued from the O.N.E. base by Cyclops and Wolverine has disappeared. That will probably come up in the future.

Before they set off to take down Dark Beast, Wolverine reveals he dug some 1990s costumes out of the ruins of the Xavier Institute for everyone to wear. The X-Men suit up and head to a warehouse in Long Island City where they fight a bunch of robots. But one of the robots is actually a cyborg dupe of Jamie Madrox. Reluctantly at the insistence of Cyclops, Jamie absorbs the dying dupe and feels it die inside of him, but manages to learn where Dark Beast is.

They ambush Dark Beast as he's driving a truck down a moonlit road, but Dark Beast reveals that Mister Sinister saved his head when he was killed and put it on a robot spider body equipped with all sorts of weaponry. Beast gains the upper hand and Cyclops calls for a retreat, but Magik users her teleportation powers to throw her soul sword through a portal and right through Beast's chest. Jamie wants to kill him for what he did to the dupe, but Cyclops wants to capture him instead so they can get information from him.

Later that night at Harry's Hideaway, Havok visits Cyclops in his room and gives him a stern talking to about not becoming a ruthless villain again (sorry, Havok, but Cyclops was right the whole time). Rahne interrupts to invite them to watch a news report on the television, where "The X-Men" are accused of attacking a health clinic. It's actually the Mutant Liberation Front, but they have some new members: Hope Summers and Banshee. The story will be continued next issue.

Uncanny X-Men continues to satisfy with a story that takes the X-Men back to basics, a team of misfits fighting against impossible odds while struggling with their own inner demons and @#$%ed up interpersonal relationships. It's not groundbreaking, but it's doing what's necessary to ground Uncanny X-Men for whatever big event Marvel has planned later this year, once all the rest of the mutants get back from their vacation in the Age of X-Man.

Now, whether that big event serves to make a mess of things again remains to be seen, but it's looking promising at the moment, with relatively fresh creative teams working on the regular universe X-Books and even fresher ones waiting in the wings in Age of X-Man. As such, I remain optimistic that we're in the early stages of a great era of X-Men comics, which is good, because the previous era was a rough one for X-fans.

Age of X-Man: Prisoner X #1
(W) Vita Ayala (A) German Peralta (CA) Patrick Zircher
ENTER THE AGE OF X-MAN!
In the Age of X-Man, when you break the law, you aren't sent to just any prison. You're sent to the Danger Room…a penitentiary filled with the roughest and meanest mutants that don't fit into X-Man's utopia. They each have a reason for being there. And they're all ready to kill each other. But that's about to change, because the newest prisoner just arrived…Lucas Bishop!
Rated T+
In Shops: Mar 06, 2019
SRP: $3.99

Following the events of Age of X-Man Alpha, in which Bishop was arrested for making like Frank Tieri in a parking lot and "doing it" with Jean Grey, this series opens with Bishop greeted at prison by the warden, Forge. As Forge and some Cobra Commander looking guards give Bishop the tour, we see a few of the other characters imprisoned here, and get some clues to their personalities in the age of X-Man. Beast is mopping a floor and looking very angry. Polaris and Dani Moonstar sit together at a table and watch knowingly. Bishop is brought back to his cell, where he experiences a nightmare… or is it a memory… of fighting in the future alongside his sister, Shard.

At the cafeteria the next day, we meet some other prisoners, including Ink and Honey Badger, both of whom harbor no love for Bishop due to his status as a former X-Man. Bishop hallucinates seeing Shard as a prisoner in the lunch line, causing Honey Badger to mock him. Afterward, Beast confronts Bishop, revealing that Honey Badger is part of his crew on the inside and warning Bishop to stay clear. A fight is about to break out, but Dani interrupts and walks Bishop away. Later in the yard during rec time, Bishop has some flashes of memory of Honey Badger from the real world, and he decides to approach her again, asking if they know each other. She shrugs him off but mentions that he's acting similar to Lorna, so he approaches Polaris next, which triggers a memory flash to her time as Pestilence, the horseman of Apocalypse (see X-Men #182 for the start of that). Lorna doesn't feel like talking, but Dani approaches Bishop again and they go for a walk, where Dani reveals she too has been having flashes of the real world.

Later, at dinner, Beast attacks Bishop for ignoring his warning earlier and talking to Honey Badger, but before Bishop can fight back, he has another memory flash of Beast. When he tries to explain they should be friends, Beast kicks his ass more. Guards intervene and the prison is put on lockdown. BAck in his cell, Bishop has a series of quick visions — one of the Shadow King, one of the real world Apocalypse killing the Age of X-Man X-Men, and one of his sister, dead at the hands of a Sentinel, but talking to him: "You don't remember, but the fear still rules you." When he wakes up, Bishop finds a note on the floor that reads: "The dream is real. The reality is false. Get out."

Okay. This is the best Age of X-Man series yet, and that's not what I expected. Some interesting choices of continuity references mixed with horror and mystery works here to create something unique and unexpected from an alternate universe event tie-in whose concept itself isn't all that exciting in the first place, being mainly a rehash of a half dozen past alternate universe events. Often, a comic book mini-series, especially in this context, can feel useless, but this one is at least off to a good start in terms of defying those norms. Prisoner X has just become the Age of X-Man mini to beat, IMHO! And also the Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the week!

Congratulations to the creative team!

Domino: Hotshots #1
(W) Gail Simone (A) David Baldeon (CA) R. B. Silva
BULLY, BRAWLER, MERCENARY, SPIES: THE MARVEL UNIVERSE'S HOTTEST TEAM IS HERE!
• Domino and her pals Outlaw and Diamondback are caught between warring nations! And it'll take a whole new crew of international women of mystery to sort it out!
• Featuring the titanic talents of Gail Simone (Birds of Prey) and David Balde n (Spirits of Vengeance)!
Rated T+
In Shops: Mar 06, 2019
SRP: $3.99

This continuation of the Domino series that just ended begins with a glowing green meteor crashing to Earth, found by two scientists in Antarctica. When one of them touches it, he is immediately infected with something that looks similar to the Celestials. In Paris, Domino meets with the Black Widow, who, after some flattery, reveals she wants Domino to help her track down and obtain the object that fell to Earth, which the Widow doesn't think should end up in the hands of the various governments vying for it. Domino agrees, and when the Widow warns here there are some men following them, Domino takes them out and (after a brief misunderstanding) introduces White Fox, who also spoke with Domino on behalf of the South Korean government about the object. All three board Arctic Bear's Wakandan airship, where Domino's other partners, Outlaw and Diamondback, are also waiting, and they all head to Argentina to retrieve the object.

On the way to a meeting with the other scientist from the first scene, the one who didn't touch the object, Domino warns Diamondback and Outlaw that she doesn't necessarily trust the others not to attempt to steal the object for themselves or their governments. Domino wants the object destroyed or buried instead. The meeting is at the country's most famous graveyard, Cementerio de la Recoleta. The scientist offers them a deal: for money and safe passage, they'll be allowed to study the artifact. Widow, Fox, and Bear all attempt to outbid each other to get the object for themselves, confirming Domino's suspicions. But just as the infected scientist — Mazarov — reveals himself, the police crash the party.

Believing he's been betrayed, Mazarov attacks. The Hotshots spring into action, but this guy is tough, being part Celestial and all, and he eats a punch to the face by Outlaw and shrugs it off. Thankfully, Black Widow is able to stop him by firing her Widow's Bites directly into his nuts. Mazarov flies away, and Outlaw's hand appears to have been infected with the Celestial stuff. The Hotshots are about to give chase when an uninvited guest arrives: Deadpool. He's there to kill them… but not until next issue.

Domino was a fantastic book, so I was quite disappointed to learn it would end. When I heard it would return as Domino: Hotshots, I was pleased… but then sad again to know it was only a 5-issue mini. What a rollercoaster of emotions! Well, we recently learned that there's a chance for more Domino in the future if this sells well, so buy it, damn it!

Simone and Baldeon do a great job with Domino, and the series has felt like a spiritual successor to Simone's Deadpool run from back in the day. Hotshots continues that seamlessly. Did it need to be a separate mini-series? Well, no, but Marvel has no faith in itself to sell comics with double digit numbering, so what are you gonna do? Certainly not the fault of the book or creative team.

Deadpool #10
(W) Skottie Young (A/CA) Scott Hepburn
GOOD NIGHT, SWEET DEADPOOL!
• Hey, look! It's that weird guy from the end of DEADPOOL #1! I knew he'd be back!
• The deadly Good Night is taking care of Deadpool's merc jobs before he gets to them. Kinda like that story "The Elves and the Shoemaker," but a horrifying, violent nightmare!
• Deadpool's got a plan, though, and he's definitely thought it through. For sure. No question.
Parental Advisory
In Shops: Mar 06, 2019
SRP: $3.99

Deadpool has a problem. Every time he gets an assassination job, somebody gets there before him, kills everyone, and paints GoodNight on the scene in blood. Displeased with this, Deadpool consults with Blind Al, who is filling in for Negasonic Teenage Warhead, who had to take some time off as Deadpool's agent for an X-Men crossover or something. Deadpool decides to use Hydra Bob as bait to lure GoodNight. After a long stakeout, Deadpool sends Bob home, but then GoodNight shows up and kicks his ass. GoodNight carries Deadpool off to a secondary location where he removes all the bones from Deadpool's body and pins him to a wall. The story will be continued next issue.

I realize this recap is shorter than the others, which is often the case with Deadpool comics, but that's because the comic is essentially 80% witty banter. Speaking of which, there was a harder edge to the jokes this issue, which kinda worked to make this a more enjoyable Deadpool experience, if you can call a Deadpool experience enjoyable. Either way, this is the most Deadpool-y the book has felt since it started. Too bad the series didnt' start to find its groove until it's already been slated for a relaunch.

Readers know that GoodNight is the grown up child whose parents Deadpool murdered in an alley in a pastiche of Batman's origin story from Deadpool #1. Deadpool doesn't know that though. He seems to be in quite the pickle, having no bones and all, but he'll need to sort that out before the series ends so he can get a new creative team and new number one issue.

Other X-Stuff

Leah Williams did an AMA and talked about The Blob, and you can read about that here.

That's all for this week! Next week is a pretty full week, with two Age of X-Man books — Marvelous X-Men and Apocalypse and the X-Tracts — along with Dead Man Logan, Uncanny X-Men: Winter's End, X-23, and X-Force. See you then… unless I see you in the parking lot first, punk!