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Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

As we head into a new year of X-Men comics at Marvel, it's time to compile a list of ten likely predictions for Marvel X-plans in 2019. Of course, thanks to solicitations and accelerated shipping schedules, we already know what's happening in the next 50 or so issues of various X-Men comics, so these predictions will all need to occur in April or later. In any case, we're hoping at least one of them comes true. Okay, here they are:

  1. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  2. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  3. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  4. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  5. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  6. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  7. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  8. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  9. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing
  10. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing

Astute readers may have noticed that all ten of our predictions are actually the same. Well, we're hedging our bets. Chances are that at least one of our predictions will come true in the new year, so we figure, if we make all of the predictions that Marvel will finally stop paying the greatest comic book writer of all time to sit on his ass and not write anything, it's a sure bet it will actually happen this year!

What's that? You feel ripped off? That can't be the first time you feel that way, being a comic book reader and all. Oh, okay fine. Here's ten more predictions…

  1. Matthew Rosenberg actually writes an ending for one of his comics; it's published on Twitter
  2. In a shocking coup no one saw coming, Leah Williams takes over the entire X-line
  3. Uncanny X-Men rebooted at least two more times this year
  4. Wolverine finally returns, just in time to be killed off again
  5. Glob Herman gets his own solo mini-series, which outsells every other X-comic
  6. Ever-shrinking X-nostalgia window combined with accelerated shipping schedules means X-Men comics by end of 2019 are nostalgic for the ones published at beginning of 2019
  7. Kitty Pryde runs for president
  8. Marvel pulls the trigger on bringing John Byrne back, but Byrne says something so controversial the project is canceled before the first issue comes out
  9. Jordan White leaves Marvel to become a concert ukulelist
  10. Marvel finally lets Chris Claremont write an X-Men ongoing

Big news elsewhere in the X-verse this week includes X-Editor Jordan White scoring a big promotion. Read our coverage of that here. And of course, if you missed last week's column, we handed out the Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the Year awards, so go and check that out if you haven't already. And now, let's find out what's going on in this week's X-Men comics…


Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but with a corporate merger on the way, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]


Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

Uncanny X-Men #8
NOV180861
(W) Ed Brisson, Kelly Thompson, Matthew Rosenberg (A) R. B. Silva (CA) Giuseppe Camuncoli
From the Age of Apocalypse to the end of the X-Men…and the dawn of the AGE OF X-MAN???
Rated T+
In Shops: Jan 02, 2019
SRP: $3.99

We open with Armor about to murder X-Man in the Age of Apocalypse to prevent him from getting back to the real world and continuing his evil schemes. Glob Herman doesn't like it, and even Pixie and Rockslide, who were advocating for it, are having second thoughts. In the real world, which is being called "Prime Earth," Storm asks Magneto to renounce X-Man now that he's gone, but Magneto refuses. The X-Men take on the three remaining Horsemen of Salvation (Magneto, Blob, and Omega Red) while Psylocke, Jean, and Bishop try to figure out what's going on with Legion, who is unconscious. Also, Kitty Pryde emerges from the rubble of X-Man's temple, along with Senator Allen and Apocalypse.

In New York, a news crew reports on protesters and counter-protesters who have gathered at the site of the ruined X-Mansion. Inside, Beast confronts Anole, revealing it was Anole who stole the mutant cure from Beast's locker. Beast is jealous someone else besides him would be a traitor to the mutant race. Back at X-Man's temple, Jean and Psylocke gain access to Legion's mind and learn that X-Man and the kids are trapped in there. Bishop wants to rescue them, but Kitty says they should stay in there, buying them time to figure out how to stop X-Man. Apocalypse, on the other hand, thinks they should kill Legion, taking care of the problem (but also killing the kids). Bishop stops him and demands Jean and Psylocke send him into Legion's mind to rescue the kids, to which they agree.

Bishop shows up in the Age of Apocalypse just in time to stop Armor from killing X-Man. But when X-Man realizes that Bishop hasn't transformed like the other denizens of the alternate reality, he figures out that this is all just in Legion's mind and not the real Age of Apocalypse. This draws out Legion for a battle with X-Man, which Legion loses. The kids and Bishop return to the real world, as does X-Man, now inhabiting Legion's powerful mind. Uh oh!

Yeah, the @#$% continues to hit the fan and it's not looking good for the X-Men at all. It's almost enough to make one forget that this entire 10-issue story is just the setup for the launch of several mini-series in a line-wide mini-crossover event that will cost even more money than the 10 weekly issues. Still, for proper characterization of Beast as a dick, this one wins the Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the Week.

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

Congratulations to the creative team!

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

Mr. and Mrs X #7
(W) Kelly Thompson (A) Oscar Bazaldua (CA) Terry Dodson, Rachel Dodson
• Stuck in the Mojoverse!
• Rogue and Gambit are forced to relive moments of their past…but this time for the cameras!
Rated T+
In Shops: Jan 02, 2019
SRP: $3.99

Rogue and Gambit find themselves, at the start of this issue, chained upside down above hungry alligators by Mojo, who read Marvel editor Jordan White's #XMenMonday poll to learn that the titular heroes ranked #6 and #8 amongst most popular X-Men (seriously, we're not making that up). Mojo spins the wheel of genre and lands on noir, so he decides to cast Rogue and Gambit in an episode of Honeymoonlighting, parodying a television show from 1985 that Kelly Thompson must have binge-watched last weekend or something. They beat up a bunch of guys in suits to get their hands on a baby bluebird, but Rogue suddenly starts seeing through the illusions of Mojoworld and turns Gambit into a corpse. Distraught, Mojo reboots the show, having Spiral cast a spell that puts Rogue, as a princess, sleeping in bed, and Gambit sneaking through the window to wake her up with a kiss. Except, it's not Gambit. It's Longshot. Cliffhanger!

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

Shatterstar #4
(W) Tim Seeley (A) Carlos Villa, Gerardo Sandoval (CA) Yasmine Putri
With the mundane lives of his tenants hanging in the balance, Shatterstar is pushed to the brink by the life he thought he left behind….
Rated T+
In Shops: Jan 02, 2019
SRP: $3.99

After saving Pugsmasher from the Death Sponsors, Shatterstar arrives at the arena just in time to see Tina Cooke die. He entrusts Pugsmasher to the gladiator who killed her (it's an honor thing) and calls out The Grandmaster, who sends three Death Sponsors to attack. As Shatterstar handily dispatches them, he flashes back to his past in the Mojoverse with Gringrave, killing Soveriegnshard, who Gringrave had showed him was plotting to kill him to prevent Mojo mating Shatterstar with his girlfriend, Windsong. Back in the present, Gringrave appears in the arena and fights Shatterstar. As they fight, we get one more flashback, this time revealing that Gringrave had tricked Shatterstar by doctoring footage, and that Soveriegnshard and Windsong weren't planning to kill Shatterstar. They were planning to free him from Mojo's control and have him join the rebellion. Oops! Fueled by this memory, Shatterstar grabs Gringrave and falls backward onto his sword, stabbing them both, killing Gringrave, but missing his own organs. He then goes after Grandmaster, who disintegrates him.

Well, that was unexpected, but now that Shatterstar is dead, we're off the hook for buying the last issue of this mini-series. Oh, who are we kidding? We'll pathologically buy anything with an X on the cover.

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]

Deadpool #8
(W) Skottie Young (A/CA) Nic Klein
ARE YOU NOT AMUSED-MENT PARK?
• Deadpool finds himself in the middle of a twisted rivalry between two competing amusement parks!
• But it's not all fun and games when one pernicious porker procures a plethora of…dang it, I can't think of a synonym for "big honkin' weapons" that starts with "P."
• It's a carnival of carnage! Buy the ticket, take the ride!
Parental Advisory
In Shops: Jan 02, 2019
SRP: $3.99

In Deadpool #8, Deadpool is hired by theme park mogul Silly Seal to kill Zaggy Pig, the criminal cousin of Silly Seal's friend Ziggy Pig, who has taken over Ziggy's theme park and is using it to run guns and drugs. Deadpool dresses up in a Ziggy Pig costume and heads to Ziggyland, where he's immediately accosted by a group of children, including his daughter, Ellie, who recognizes his voice under the costume. Unfortunately, Deadpool had his memory wiped in the last reboot so he doesn't recognize her. Deadpool heads into the bowels of a Hay Ride attraction where he finds Zaggy and some henchmen dealing with illegal arms. A fight ensues, but Deadpool's ability to murder cartoon animals is hampered by the arrival of Ellie, who begs him not to murder anyone. Deadpool sends her off on the hay ride while he kills some henchmen, and then they take a walk through the park as Ellie tries to convince Deadpool that he doesn't have to be a mercenary. He can be a hero. Deadpool isn't buying it.

They head into the tunnels underneath the park, where Deadpool kills more henchmen, this time with Ellie on his back. They catch up with Zaggy, who is escaping in a helicopter, but when Deadpool tries to shoot him, he finds he's out of bullets. He leaves, disappointed, as we learn that Ellie took the bullets out of his gun.

Are the corporate overlords at Disney World paying attention to this comic? They probably wouldn't be too pleased.


Next week, we have the final issues of Domino and Iceman, plus new issues of Uncanny and X-23. See you then!

Read more X-ual Healing here:

Ten Hopeful X-Men Predictions for 2019 [X-ual Healing 1-2-19]


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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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