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The Co-Creator Of Prey, Duke Nukem, And Max Payne Wants To Kill You With Vitamin Supplements

The Co-Creator Of Prey, Duke Nukem, And Max Payne Wants To Kill You With Vitamin Supplements

First off, let us start with the facts. This is the full PR blurb shopped around for the God Mode vitamin supplements.

Boss Level Labs has introduced "GodMode", a breakthrough brain supplement with a name inspired by the term "God Mode", which was originally conceived as a powerful cheat mode concept first introduced in Apogee's shareware games such as the original Duke Nukem and Wolfenstein 3D. A veritable cheat mode for the mind, GodMode is a scientific mix of pharmaceutical grade, FDA-approved ingredients, each shown in published studies to deliver profound cognitive benefits, including:

• Six to 10 percent faster reaction speed;

• Faster access to memory, including retention and recall;

• Better distraction avoidance, with improved focus and concentration;

• Increased key neurotransmitters leading to faster, clearer thinking; and

• Reduced stress and anxiety, with Yoda-like calmness under pressure.

"These advantages are perfect for gamers," said Boss Level Labs Chief Science Officer, Dr. Shota Yamamoto. "And not just video gamers, but board gamers, too. GodMode actually levels-up your mind because the formulation is like a brain-hack. Over 800 published studies back it up."

Chess grandmaster Judit Polgár has joined the growing ranks of brain boosting proponents. "I take GodMode to think better and reach victory," said Hungarian-born Polgár. "The game is inside your brain. What's inside your brain matters."

"As a lifelong fan of chess, it's a huge honor having Judit, the best female player in history, see the benefits of GodMode," said Scott Miller, Boss Level Labs CEO and co-founder of the legendary game studios Apogee and 3D Realms. "If you Google 'smartest people in the world', Judit is always on those lists. But even with a world-class IQ, there's still room to get better with the right neuro-enhancers, like the ones we've matched together in GodMode."

Now on sale online, the potent GodMode formulation is manufactured in an FDA-approved $70 million lab located in Long Island, NY. GodMode's 14 ingredients are all safe, FDA-approved, natural, and vegetarian. It is the most impressive brain supplement currently on the market, and while it will work for anyone, Boss Level Labs is targeting gamers and developers first and foremost, as that is the market the company is most passionate about. Learn more at www.GodModeBrain.com.

So now that you know as much about this as I do, we can talk seriously. Nowhere on the official site is there any easily understandable list of ingredients. Not even a suggestion of ingredients. Just a massive wall of text that is, frankly, an utter pain to wade through.

Which means it has to be radioactive sludge. Because if I know anything about achieving a God Mode, it is radioactivity.

So you can pick up these brain supplements, or you can jump in the Hudson River.

I think I'm just going to go with a jump in the river, personally.


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Madeline RicchiutoAbout Madeline Ricchiuto

Madeline Ricchiuto is a gamer, comics enthusiast, bad horror movie connoisseur, writer and generally sarcastic human. She also really likes cats and is now Head Games Writer at Bleeding Cool.
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