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In Brilliant Political Maneuver, Mayoral Candidate Kane Assaults Hated Roman Reigns In WWE Return

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Catapulting his status from novelty candidate to rising political star, WWE wrestler Kane returned at WWE Raw last night, climbing out of the bottom of the ring to assault Roman Reigns during his steel cage match against Braun Strowman. To the cheers of a grateful crowd, Kane delivered chokeslams and tombstone piledrivers to the hated Reigns before standing tall as Strowman got the pin. As a result of the finish, not only will Kane participate in a 5 on 3 match at TLC against The Shield, but he has also solidified his place in American politics. First, the Knox County Mayorship. Next: the world?

In Brilliant Political Maneuver, Mayoral Candidate Kane Assaults Hated Roman Reigns In WWE Return

To understand how Kane could go from unlikely local mayor to potential 2020 presidential candidate with a single beatdown, one must understand the nature of Roman Reigns' adversarial relationship with the crowd. Identified as "the guy" to carry the company's back into the next era by WWE officials, Reigns has been the focus of all WWE programming since winning the 2014 Royal Rumble to a chorus of boos, even with his hand held high by the charismatic Rock. Despite WWE considering Reigns' character to be a "babyface," or good guy, the crowd has consistently booed Reigns, sending a signal that they reject his position as leader of the company. WWE has ignored the crowd, and is currently in the process of booking Reigns toward a WrestleMania victory over WWE Universal Champion Brock Lesnar, the latest in an attempt to coronate Reigns as "top guy."

In Brilliant Political Maneuver, Mayoral Candidate Kane Assaults Hated Roman Reigns In WWE Return

It's in this atmosphere that any wrestler, even a mask-wearing monster whose intention is to drag his opponents straight to hell, and a libertarian, is considered a hero by WWE's fans. Kane's political campaign extolls the virtues of low taxes and limited government, but to the fans who were saved from another superheroic Reigns victory Monday night, he represents hope. Hope that someone, please oh god anyone, even a 50-year-old Tennessee politician, can be WWE's top guy instead of Roman Reigns. If Kane helps the team of The Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, and Braun Strowman defeat Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins at TLC on Sunday, how many grateful WWE fans would be willing to establish residency in Knox County, Tennessee just to vote Kane in as Mayor?

In Brilliant Political Maneuver, Mayoral Candidate Kane Assaults Hated Roman Reigns In WWE Return

Would you be willing to uproot your family and start a new life in Tennessee of all places just to vote in a wrestler with questionable policies and no political experience? If the alternative is more of Roman Reigns in the role of John Cena for the next ten years, we'd be willing to try anything.

Even… this.

In Brilliant Political Maneuver, Mayoral Candidate Kane Assaults Hated Roman Reigns In WWE Return

So, on behalf of WWE fans everywhere, we thank you, Kane. Now don't let us down on Sunday. We consider defeating Roman Reigns an unbreakable campaign promise.

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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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