For the chocolate coated graham cracker and marshmallow sandwich known as the Moon Pie, today's total solar eclipse is more than just a rare astronomical event; it's a marketing opportunity.
Let's face it: Moon Pies don't have a lot going for them. Sure, back in 1917 when the snack was first invented, chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallow were probably the height of confectionary technology. But today's snack cakes, with their creme centers and squiggly icing compete with an unfair advantage. That's why Moon Pie is taking this eclipse business very seriously, willing to share its birthright as official snack of the eclipse only with the similarly relevant Sun Chips.
Moon Pie's twitter timeline has been pretty much all about the eclipse for the past week.
Moon Pie is even willing to give away a year's supply of Moon Pies — a number we imagine to be roughly three Moon Pies, as we couldn't imagine eating more than that many in a single year — to one lucky winner who posts a photo of themselves eating a Moon Pie during the eclipse.
The snack cake has been getting defensive against anyone who threatens their claim on the cosmic event:
And Moon Pie even has some famous allies:
And in case you're wondering, Moon Pie has chosen sides in the battle of heavenly bodies:
They're even trying to get Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon in on the action:
So as you can imagine, when a rival snack cake tried to muscle in on Moon Pie's territory…
Moon Pie wasn't ****ing having it:
Sorry, Hostess. You gotta let Moon Pie have this one.