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Morbius Sucks, But You Already Knew That {Review}

Morbius is a terrible film, from start to an abrupt finish. Only making matters worse is the worst set of after-credits scenes that show why this film even exists in the first place: as an excuse to try and build a world that nobody is asking for. Morbius lets you down at every turn, save for a hammed-up and glorious performance from Matt Smith. Jared Leto is sleepwalking through the film, the effects were bad in 2002, and it feels cheap. Skip it, forget it, and pretend that it never happened.

Morbius Sucks, But You Already Knew That {Review}
Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) in Columbia Pictures' MORBIUS. Courtesy of Sony Pictures. © 2021 CTMG, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Again: Morbius Sucks Big Time

Instead of pouring over everything that is wrong with this stupid film, here is what is somewhat enjoyable about it. Matt Smith is a complete delight here. One wonders how quickly on set he managed to figure out how terrible this was going to be, and instead, he just decided to cut loose and have fun. Thank god, because if he didn't, the film would have been a zero. Besides him? Hmm…it looks clean on set? The Marvel logo at the beginning, the old-school one with the pages flipping, is always good to see. Something else, something else…

Morbius Sucks, But You Already Knew That {Review}
Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) in Columbia Pictures' MORBIUS. PHOTO BY: Jay Maidment. © 2022 CTMG, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

There is nothing else. The way everyone else cannot be bothered to look like they want to be there makes you wonder why you are even bothering to watch it. This is one of the worst edited films in a long time. For example, at one point, they make a big deal out of Morbius tracking down a counterfeit money lab so he can use it to make an antidote to his vampirism. We get a whole montage and scenes of him testing equipment and making sure it works and then making the antidote and testing it and such, only for him to end up in his old lab in Horizon Labs finishing the antidote, with no explanation of how or why he is back there. This also features one of the most abrupt endings to a film ever.

All so we can get to the two end-credits scenes. No spoilers, but they feature terrible dialogue. They are needlessly split into two parts and will leave you confused and angry that they are not paying attention enough to their own universe to make any of it make any sense. Everyone in the theater was laughing and shaking their heads afterward, with one asking all of us, "How does that jive with what has already happened?". The answer is that it doesn't. Morbius saw a ton of delays and release date changes, which makes it even more unforgivable that this is what we got. They could have done reshoots; they could have tinkered with it more and tried to save it. Maybe there was no saving this. This type of laziness is hard to sit through, and you shouldn't. Skip this one.

Morbius

Morbius: Watch A Three Minute Clip From The Film + A New Poster
Review by Jeremy Konrad

1/10
Morbius, save for a fun performance by Matt Smith, is terrible and should be avoided at all costs. Lazy, lifeless, and a thoroughly painful watch.

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Jeremy KonradAbout Jeremy Konrad

Jeremy Konrad has written about collectibles and film for almost ten years. He has a deep and vast knowledge of both. He resides in Ohio with his family.
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