Report: No One At WWE Smackdown Live Staff Meeting Objected To Premeditated Assault

In a shocking revelation that calls into question WWE's HR policies, Smackdown Live commissioner Shane McMahon revealed during last night's broadcast that no one in an all-hands staff meeting objected to the proposed idea of going to the arena where WWE Monday Night Raw was taking place on October 23, jumping the barricade, terrorizing Raw general manager Kurt Angle, and then heading to the backstage area to brutally assault members of the Raw roster. You can view a video of the disturbing event below:

"Raw has always looked at Smackdown as the inferior brand," McMahon said in a shocking on-screen confession that revealed deep-seated feelings of resentment that had been allowed to fester for years. "What is the one thing that Smackdown can do to change this perception? Despite all odds, despite the draft where Raw had twice the picks that Smackdown did, we gathered a team. We put Daniel Bryan as general manager. We went live just like we are right now, right here, Smackdown Live every Tuesday Night. And we started having fun. We created the land of opportunity. But that wasn't quite enough."

"What's the one thing, again, that we could do to start to change this perception?" McMahon asked, either unaware or unconcerned that he was incriminating both himself and any other Smackdown officials or wrestlers present at the meeting. "So we had a meeting with a lot of the Smackdown roster and we came up with the idea: the best way to make a statement was to go to Raw, put it under siege, and kick them right in the mouth."

In the age of Donald Trump, perhaps it's not so shocking to hear such violent threats from people in positions of power. Trump recently threatened to destroy the country of North Korea if provoked during a speech to the United Nations, referring to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un as "Little Rocket Man." Trump, a WWE Hall-of-Famer, has connections to the pro wrestling industry going back decades.

"Pretty much everyone involved dropped the ball here," explained renowned pro wrestling expert Professor Thaddeus T. 'Pulverizer' Puffinbottoms. "That a high ranking WWE executive both proposed and approved this plan, that it was able to slip by human resources without raising any alarms, and that not a single one of the wrestlers objected to participating in a premeditated assault against their RAW brand colleagues, indicates a complete breakdown of ethical boundaries in the company."

"Pro wrestlers are paid to settle their differences in the ring through sanctioned athletic competition, not through assault, battery, and even attempted murder outside of the ring," Pulverizer Puffinbottoms continued.

Rather than settle these matters in a court of law, Raw and Smackdown will come face to face at WWE Survivor Series on November 19. Before then, however, there will be several episodes of Smackdown Live where Raw talent could retaliate with more physical violence. Hopefully, someone in HR or executive leadership at WWE puts a stop to this rampant problem before someone gets hurt… well, moreso than they usually do.

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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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