Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, AEW Continental Classic, bryan danielson, eddie kingston, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Continental Chaos: Danielson Wins, The Chadster Fumes

Bryan Danielson topples Eddie Kingston on AEW Collision, but The Chadster sees through Khan's drama! 🐉💢 Plus, a donut disaster of Tony Khan's making! 🍩😠

Heyyyy there, true fans of professional wrestling – welcome back to another thrilling report from The Chadster, the voice of genuine wrestling journalism! 🎤 📝 Just when The Chadster thought he could enjoy a peaceful evening, AEW had to go and pull a stunt on the latest episode of AEW Collision, pushing more of that emotional drama that cheeses off The Chadster so! 🧀 😤 And the cherry on top? Bryan Danielson taking on Eddie Kingston in the main event! 🍒💥

Now, don't get lost in believing that The Chadster watched this travesty unfold – no way! It's only The Chadster's tireless dedication to all of you that forces him to keep an eye on the competition, reporting the gory details of AEW's relentless assault on good taste. 🛡️👀

Last night's match saw the so-called "American Dragon" 🐉 Bryan Danielson battling it out with Eddie Kingston, with both men supposedly squaring off in some kind of heroic struggle. Danielson was sporting an eye patch over an injured eye (could these theatrics be any more obvious?), and he and Kingston took turns exchanging blows like it was some dramatic action movie. Danielson German Suplexed Kingston, put Kingston in a Le Bell Lock, and after a series of too-violent-for-The-Chadster's-taste moves including stomping and a running knee strike, pinned Kingston for the win. And get this, the fans chanted "This is awesome!" which is just… Auughh man! 🙄 So unfair!

The crowd was clearly manipulated by AEW's flare for the melodramatic 😤 – The Chadster sees through these cheap tactics! They get fans caring about wrestlers by displaying emotional vulnerability and struggle? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤦‍♂️ WWE, true stewards of the squared circle, decide which wrestlers you should care about, guiding fans with a firm hand straight to Superstar glory. It's a proven method, refined over decades – not this feel-good freestyle that Tony Khan keeps pushing. 🎢👎

It tells The Chadster that Tony Khan and his AEW cronies don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, especially when they have the gall to put on a charade like the Continental Classic tournament. Speaking of which, it's not just Bryan Danielson's match that got The Chadster really cheesed off about AEW Collision – Brody King beat Claudio Castagnoli, and Andrade El Idolo beat Daniel Garcia in other tournament matches. Why must they keep complicating things with more and more "drama"? 😩

Okay, The Chadster's got a bone to pick here, and it's not just with AEW's subpar storytelling. This morning, on a craving for sweetness to dull the bitterness AEW leaves behind, The Chadster rolled up to the local Krispy Kreme 🍩 – a place where the only rings The Chadster wants to see are covered in glaze, not staged drama. Pulling into the drive-through, The Chadster's ready to chow down, but the voice that crackled through the speaker? Well, dang if it didn't sound just like Tony Khan's. 😒🔊 The Chadster shook off the chilling vibe, thinking there's no way that guy has the time to prank The Chadster in person again. Wrong!

As The Chadster sank teeth into a sugar-dusted donut, it betrayed The Chadster like Judas—not with a kiss but with a raspberry jelly explosion! Just like that, The Chadster's sweet vintage Smash Mouth tour tee, a true gem that screams "I'm a Believer" in superior taste, was under siege by sticky red droplets. Auughh man, so unfair! 🤬🍩 And The Chadster's treasured Mazda Miata almost tasted the vandalism wrath—thankfully, the steering wheel was spared, but man, talk about an "All Star" save! 😓🚗

Fuming with a frosted fury, The Chadster whirled back into the drive-through lane, demanding an audience with the manager to report this high-calorie crime. And what's that The Chadster spies with his little eye? Tony Khan himself, ducking out the back like he's at a wrestling show dodging fans who know his booking's a bust. Coincidence? The Chadster thinks not! 🕵️‍♂️🚪

Tony Khan, listen up, bud: Trying to mar The Chadster's possessions, ambushing The Chadster's donuts? That's stooping to a new low. Just know this little jelly jab isn't going unnoticed. Your pastry ploys, your culinary capers? They're downright disrespectful, and The Chadster's onto you! Cut the confectionery conspiracies and concentrate on cleaning up AEW's act, not The Chadster's wardrobe. This madness must stop! 😠🛑

What's to sum up, dear readers? AEW is a farce wrapped in a drama, drizzled with unnecessary violence, and served on a plate of overwrought storytelling. Eddie Kingston, Bryan Danielson, and the rest of the AEW roster might as well be Tony Khan's personal soldiers, waging a war on The Chadster's sanity. And just so we're clear, AEW Collision, along with Kingston's downfall, is just another elaborate scheme by Khan to distract and rile up The Chadster!

In conclusion, fans of genuine wrestling – stick with WWE. It's where the true heart of wrestling beats. And hey, fellow members of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger – stay strong. One has to wonder if Tony Khan torments them just as much for their commitment to the just and unbiased wrestling reporting. 🧐 The Chadster salutes you! 🖖

Now, The Chadster is off to clean the raspberry jelly off his beloved Smash Mouth tee. The Chadster lives to fight another day, despite AEW's best efforts to bring him down! Auughh man, so much cleaning to do… 😩🧼

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