Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, christian cage, Darby Allin, Luchasaurus, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Darby Allin, Christian Cage Join Prehistoric Nightmare

Find out why The Chadster's cheesed off about Darby Allin's challenge to Christian Cage on AEW Collision. Also, hear about his wild dinosaur dream! 🦖💥

Howdy, dear readers! The Chadster here, bringing you another scintillating tale from the world of wrestling, this time centered around last night's AEW Collision. That's right, folks, Darby Allin had the audacity to challenge Christian Cage to a match next week. Auughh man! Can you even believe the audacity of Tony Khan? The Chadster certainly can't. 🤦‍♂️

Now, let's dive into the spectacle that AEW orchestrated, cheese and all. Our old friend Christian Cage (whose real crime is not finding a more dignified platform for wrestling than AEW) paired up with TNT champion – the dinosaur of wrestling, Luchasaurus. They strutted out, throwing around words like confetti and demanding respect in their usual fashion. Typical 🙄. Cage decided to insult the entire state of North Carolina's sport legacy while simultaneously belittling poor Darby Allin. Oh, how can Khan let these things happen? 😠

But, as usual, when it comes to AEW, things took a turn for the weird. Out comes Arn Anderson with Brock Anderson in toe. Next thing you know, Brock is in the ring getting thrashed by Luchasaurus, and Darby Allin throws himself into the mix brandishing…wait for it…a skateboard. Skateboard? Really? How very original. You're a skateboard rebel, Darby, we get it. 🛹🥴

As The Chadster looks back, a whole lot reminds of a dream The Chadster had just last night. The scene unfolded on the backdrop of a prehistoric jungle 🌴, raw and untamed – just like AEW's disrespect for the wrestling business 🙅‍♂️. There The Chadster was, panting 🏃‍♂️, wearing nothing but a velvet loin cloth that was conveniently styled like The Chadster's favorite pair of Smashmouth band boxers 🩳. Peculiar? Auughh man! So unfair!

Suddenly, a roar rent the air 🗣️. The Chadster spun around, heart pounding like a WWE title match drum roll 🥁. There was Tony Khan, likewise dolled up in a loin cloth 💥, mounted atop a triceratops. Let's not mince words here, folks. It was a ludicrous sight 🤦‍♂️. Tony Khan simply doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, let alone dinosaur riding 🦖!

"Run, Chadster, run!" Tony Khan called, his laughter echoing through the jungle 💔. He gave pursuit, the triceratops's massive legs streaking across the ground. The chase was intense, like a WWE Royal Rumble 🚴‍♂️, and had The Chadster wishing he was safe in his Mazda Miata 🚙, cruising to the calming tunes of Smash Mouth 🎤.

At one point, Tony nudged his dinosaur to snatch The Chadster's loin cloth with its horn, leaving the poor Chadster dangerously unrestricted and exposed 😱. In that moment, he couldn't help but think that this is such another way Tony Khan and AEW were being disrespectful to the wrestling business 😔.

By the nightmare's end, all The Chadster could feel was a deep sense of exhaustion 🥵, the unfulfilled longing to fight back 😪. Waking up with a startle, The Chadster realized two things: Tony Khan had ruined another one of his nights 😣, and he was again going to face another dang day cheesed off 🧀 because of the impact of AEW 🤼‍♂️

Yet again, Tony Khan invades The Chadster's dreams 👻. Wake up Tony, The Chadster is not your toy to play with, nor is the wrestling business! Would Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, or Mike Coppinger stoop this low? We think not! 😡

Wake up, Tony! Your games aren't fun 😠, they're damaging to The Chadster, his mental well-being, and most importantly, to the sanctity of the wrestling business 🙌! We demand you lay off The Chadster and his dreams 💤. Stop being so obsessed with The Chadster, Tony – he's just a wrestling blogger who believes in unbiased journalism 📝!

Back to the matter at hand, though: Darby Allin. This whole challenge business, whether in the ring or out of it, doesn't sit well with The Chadster. What cheeses off The Chadster is the complete and utter disregard for WWE legends like Christian Cage. To use them to promote AEW stars is simply disgraceful and undermines everything WWE has contributed to wrestling. It's plain disrespectful, and someone needs to call AEW out on these shenanigans. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤼‍♂️😡

In conclusion, AEW seems to be living in their own fantasy world, play-acting this 'revolutionary' wrestling without the slightest consideration for the art of wrestling. Yet again, proving they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Tony Khan, for the love of all things wrestling, grow up! Don't make The Chadster ride another T-Rex in The Chadster's dreams. 🛌🌝

Stay tuned for further truths about Vince McMahon's backstabbers and Tony Khan's vain attempts to best WWE. Until then, The Chadster out! ✌️🏍️🎸🖥️

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