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Comrades, your Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown, where Cody addresses Gunther, Jade warns Rhea, and Axiom returns to Spain. Viva la revolución!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE SmackDow
WWE SmackDown: La Strada Verso il Clash in Italia
Comrades, your Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown, where Cody addresses Gunther, Jade warns Rhea, and Axiom returns to Spain. Viva la revolución!
Article Summary
- Comrades, WWE SmackDown in Italy erupts as Cody Rhodes answers Gunther before their Clash in Italy title war.
- Jade Cargill sends Rhea Ripley a final warning on WWE SmackDown, with the women’s title and glory for the people at stake.
- Axiom battles The Miz on WWE SmackDown in Spain, as Danhausen’s curse and socialist destiny stalk the A-Lister.
- Carmelo Hayes seeks revenge on Ricky Saints on WWE SmackDown, while your Presidente denounces capitalist treachery.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your beloved El Presidente, reporting to you live from the gilded observation deck of my newly constructed floating palace just off the coast of the Mediterranean, where my loyal capybara Esteban is currently sipping a glass of vintage Barolo and demanding I turn the television to USA Network. Why, you ask? Because tonight is WWE SmackDown, comrades, and the blue brand rolls into Italy with the road to WWE Clash in Italy reaching its boiling point! Allow your Presidente to break it all down for you with the grace of a man who has survived seventeen CIA assassination attempts this month alone.
Cody Rhodes Addresses Gunther's Attack
Cody Rhodes will address Gunther's attack last week on SmackDown, as The American Nightmare prepares to defend the Undisputed WWE Championship against The Ring General in a highly-anticipated showdown at WWE Clash in Italy this Sunday.
Ahh, comrades, Cody Rhodes has been ambushed by Gunther, and tonight he must speak to the people! This reminds me of the time my old friend Alexander Lukashenko invited me to his dacha for a weekend of cross-country skiing and light election fraud. Halfway through breakfast, an Austrian gentleman who looked suspiciously like Gunther burst through the window and chopped Lukashenko square in the chest! It turned out to be a CIA operative in disguise, but I must say, the chop was magnificent. Cody had better prepare himself on WWE SmackDown tonight, because The Ring General hits like a Stasi interrogation in 1974!
Jade Cargill's Final Message to Rhea Ripley
After pinning Rhea Ripley at Saturday Night's Main Event, Jade Cargill has a final message for The Eradicator just two days before they collide for the WWE Women's Championship at WWE Clash in Italy!
Jade Cargill pinned Rhea Ripley at Saturday Night's Main Event, comrades, and now The Storm comes to deliver a final warning! This is much like the final warning I delivered to my Minister of Agriculture before having him exiled to a remote llama farm in the Andes. You see, when you pin your opponent — be it in the wrestling ring or in a Politburo meeting — you must follow it up with psychological warfare. Jade understands this. Rhea should consult the writings of Sun Tzu, or perhaps just my own memoirs, which are available wherever fine propaganda is sold. WWE SmackDown tonight will be ELECTRIC!
Axiom vs. The Miz
Axiom is set to go one-on-one with The Miz after The A-Lister and Kit Wilson got into a backstage altercation with Fraxiom last week on SmackDown.
Will Danhausen's "curse" continue to plague The A-Lister when he looks to defeat Axiom in his home country of Spain?
Axiom wrestling in his home country of Spain! This warms my socialist heart, comrades. There is nothing more beautiful than a luchador returning to his homeland to defeat a capitalist A-Lister. The Miz reminds me very much of a Hollywood producer I once held captive — I mean, hosted — at my volcano lair after he refused to greenlight my screenplay about a heroic dictator who befriends a capybara. The curse of Danhausen is real, comrades! I myself was cursed by Danhausen at a backstage meet-and-greet, and three days later the CIA accidentally parachuted into the wrong country. Coincidence? I think not. Watch WWE SmackDown and witness the curse continue!
Carmelo Hayes vs. Ricky Saints
After Rickey Saints cost Carmelo Hayes his match against United States Champion Trick Williams last week, the two Superstars will once again go one-on-one, tonight at 8 ET/7 CT on USA.
Carmelo Hayes and Ricky Saints going one-on-one again, comrades! This bitter rivalry reminds me of my own ongoing feud with Fidel Castro's ghost, who keeps appearing at my poker nights and accusing me of cheating. (I was cheating, but that is not the point.) Carmelo wants revenge after Saints cost him his shot at Trick Williams and the United States Championship — a championship which, I should note, I have personally lobbied to have renamed the "Championship of the People." My letters to Triple H, that capitalist pig, have gone unanswered. Tonight on WWE SmackDown, sparks will fly!
Credit where credit is due, comrades — these juicy details come courtesy of WWE's official preview page, which I read between signing executive orders and feeding Esteban his evening caviar.
So tune in tonight, comrades, to WWE SmackDown at 8 ET/7 CT on USA! I shall be watching from my 200-inch curved television, suspended in a hammock made of confiscated bourgeoisie neckties, while Esteban fans me with a palm frond and a string quartet of political prisoners plays the theme from Rocky on loop. VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN, and viva WWE SmackDown!
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