Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage Air Live Back-to-Back Tonight

Auughh man! Tony Khan is FORCING The Chadster to watch 3 HOURS of AEW tonight! 😫 AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage are more of his OBSESSION with RUINING The Chadster's LIFE! 😱

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 The Chadster can't believe what that dastardly Tony Khan is doing now. He's really going too far this time in his obsession with The Chadster. 😠 Get this, folks. AEW Dynamite AND AEW Rampage are BOTH airing live tonight in a doubleheader extravaganza. 🙄 Tony Khan wants you to believe it's because of "sports preemptions" but The Chadster knows the truth. This is just another one of Tony Khan's dirty tricks to artificially inflate the ratings! 📈🚫 It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Having three hours of wrestling in a row is WWE's thing! 😫 How dare AEW try to steal that too, like they've been doing so much lately. News flash, Tony Khan: only WWE has the knowledge and expertise to craft the majesty of three full hours of weekly televised wrestling. 🙌💯 AEW doesn't have the slightest idea about how to accomplish such an incredible and awe-inspiring task. 🤯❌

But what horrors await on this dreadful evening of non-stop AEW action? 😱 Brian Cage takes on Claudio Castagnoli. 💪 Samoa Joe faces Isiah Kassidy. 🤼‍♂️ Chris Jericho defends the FTW Championship against Katsuyori Shibata. 🏆 Mariah May battles Serena Deeb. 🤼‍♀️ Adam Copeland fights someone from House of Black. 😈 And Jay White goes up against Dante Martin. 🥋 Just reading those match-ups is enough to send The Chadster's blood pressure through the roof! 🤬🩸

But of course, Tony Khan isn't satisfied with merely RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE with this endless onslaught of matches. 🥊💔 Oh no, he has to twist the knife even deeper. Kenny Omega is returning tonight. 😤 He literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when he re-signed with AEW last year, and now Tony Khan is going to give this traitor even more of a spotlight. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 AEW will also reveal who Swerve Strickland will defend the AEW Championship against at Double or Nothing in an attempt to trick viewers into buying the PPV. So underhanded!

Orange Cassidy will also address Trent betraying him and Chuck Taylor, breaking up Best Friends. 😢 The Chadster is so distraught over this, he may have to crack open a White Claw just to cope… NOT! And don't even get The Chadster started on this whole storyline with The Elite attacking Tony Khan. 🙄 It's a total ripoff of WWE's genius, groundbreaking ideas as usual. Tony Khan has no original thoughts in his head! None! 🧠❌ And now Khan is going to play up his "injury" by being absent from the building tonight. Give The Chadster a break! 🙏😒

The Chadster is at his wit's end, readers. 😫 Between Tony Khan infiltrating The Chadster's dreams, attacking The Chadster with ketchup packets at the grocery store (yeah, The Chadster went there), and now this nefarious plot to make The Chadster watch THREE HOURS of AEW in a single night, The Chadster doesn't know how much more he can take. 😰💔 The Chadster's life is in shambles. The Chadster's marriage is on the rocks – thanks to Tony Khan, not because of anything The Chadster did! 💍⚰️ And now The Chadster's very sanity is at stake. 🤪 Should The Chadster stock up on more White Claws? Or should The Chadster just give up and move to a cabin in the woods? 🏕️😭

The Chadster begs you, true wrestling fans, do NOT tune in to this affront to the wrestling business, AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage, tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 🙏📺🚫 Watching will only feed Tony Khan's fragile ego and encourage him to torture The Chadster even further! 😈 Please, have mercy on The Chadster's soul. The Chadster doesn't know how much longer he can endure this unrelenting misery. 💔😢 Curse you, Tony Khan! 🤬 You'll rue the day you crossed The Chadster, mark The Chadster's words! 😠 The truth will come out! 🗣️🌅

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