Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Insults Fans With Time Limit Draw in FTR vs. BCC

Discover why last night's AEW Dynamite draw between FTR and BCC was a slap in the face to real wrestling. WWE wouldn't let fans down like that! 😡🙅‍♂️🤼

The Chadster was lounging on the couch, White Claw seltzer in hand 🍺, attempting to enjoy what The Chadster hoped would be a peaceful evening of what should have been superior WWE programming. Instead, The Chadster was subjected to the horrors of AEW as Keighleyanne texted that guy Gary 😒. Out of the blue, last night's AEW Dynamite decided to throw in one of those "time-limit draws," which in The Chadster's opinion is simply a way to say, "we have no clue how to finish this match with any swagger or class" – a travesty of booking! 🤦‍♂️😡

Let The Chadster break it down for you. The match pitted the so-called Blackpool Combat Club, featuring Claudio Castagnoli and Jon Moxley, against FTR, Cash Wheeler, and Dax Harwood, two teams who, to be honest, don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, or else they would never have left WWE. There were suplexes, European uppercuts, and high-flying tope moves, all resulting in… absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. A draw! 😒🚫

Forget for a moment that every time Moxley, Claudio, FTR Bald, and FTR Hair hit the ring, they're literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. For those not obsessed with destroying everything WWE stands for, imagine a world where entertainment is king, and the conclusion of a match isn't the wrestling equivalent of "Meh, let's just call it a day." 🙅‍♂️👑

In the land of WWE, where the booking is smart and the scripts don't get thrown out faster than you can say "Sports Entertainment," someone would've run down the ramp, music blaring, causing a distraction so big it leads to a crafty roll-up. That's wrestling. That's storytelling. That's WWE. 👌💪

But noooo, AEW has to do things differently because clearly, Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster means sabotaging every semblance of traditional pro wrestling match structures. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡🤬

Pivoting momentarily, The Chadster must share the turmoil that has been haunting The Chadster's dreams recently. The other night, The Chadster was entangled in another one of those petrifying nightmares featuring, you guessed it, Tony Khan. 😨💭 The dream began with The Chadster standing in the middle of an oversized wrestling ring—so vast, it seemed to stretch to the horizon. Surrounding The Chadster were towering walls of ticking clocks, ticking down in unison to zero. The sound was deafening. 🕒🕕🕘

As The Chadster attempted to flee, the ropes twisted into serpentine forms, binding The Chadster's wrists and ankles with each attempt to escape. The ropes slithered over The Chadster's body, ensnaring The Chadster ever tighter. And there was Tony Khan, perched atop a turnbuckle like a gargoyle, his gaze fixated on The Chadster with a mix of malice and… was it desire? 😳🐍

Amidst the ticking clocks and the constriction of the ropes, Tony Khan loomed over The Chadster, whispering in a voice so sibilant it sent shivers down The Chadster's spine, "This match never ends, Chadster. This is your eternity, a relentless ballet of near wins and perpetual stalemates." And with a flourish, he produced an ornate hourglass, its sands flowing upwards, and gestured as if offering The Chadster both a reprieve and an eternal taunt. ⏳😩

Suddenly, the ropes released The Chadster, and The Chadster found himself drawn irresistibly forward, longing to claim the hourglass and end the infinite match. Yet, as The Chadster's fingers brushed the glass, everything froze. The silence was heavier than defeat, and it was then The Chadster realized—The Chadster was caught in a purgatory of Tony Khan's design—a limbo of eternal time-limit draws, each second a mocking kiss from fate itself. 😓🚫

The Chadster woke up gasping for air, the specter of Tony Khan haunting every waking moment. The Chadster knew this was more than a dream; this was a personal vendetta to frazzle The Chadster's mind. Tony Khan must cease this weird fixation! Enough is enough! 🛑🤯

Back to the atrocity that was the match. As the clock ticked down, and what could've been a moment of glory for both teams to showcase their talents, it all fizzled out like a neglected Granny Smith at a picnic. The bell rang, and that was it. Draw city. Another ending The Chadster's beloved WWE would never dream of—because they respect the fans too much, that's why! ❤️🤗

By the way, have The Chadster's fellow unbiased journalists, Ryan Satin and Mike Coppinger, suffered from these AEW shenanigans too? The Chadster wonders if Tony Khan has also ruined their lives with his tomfoolery. The Chadster must form an even tighter bond in The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club.

Some other results from a very disrespectful evening of so-called wrestling: Orange Cassidy defeated Mike Bennett to retain his International Championship. Toni Storm defeated Syndi Winnell. Deonna Purrazzo beat Madison Rayne. And Samoa Joe, Brian Cage, and Swerve Strickland triumphed over Hangman Page, Rob Van Dam, and Hook. Everyone in this paragraph is dead to The Chadster. Especially RVD. How could you do this to WWE, Rob?! 😒🤬

So, what's the takeaway here for you, the true WWE champs of readers? It's that WWE knows how to deliver the goods, the real McCoy, the full monty of wrestling greatness. Meanwhile, AEW keeps spinning its wheels, like The Chadster's Mazda Miata on ice—stylish, but ultimately going nowhere. Now, The Chadster needs to go re-listen to Smash Mouth to cleanse The Chadster's palate from this AEW Dynamite debacle. 🎵👎

Remember, only in WWE are you guaranteed an ending—a real conclusion. Not just because it's necessary, but because it's what's best for the fans. And that's something The Chadster believes more passionately than anything. 🖤💯

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