Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage? More Like Maximum Disrespect!

The Chadster exposes Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off WWE fans with AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage. Plus, a nightmare that'll make your White Claw curdle! 😱🥤

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about tonight's AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage. 😡😡😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan is clearly trying to rip off WWE by using the name of a 1990s Marvel Comics super-mega-crossover event. 🤬 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Everyone knows that WWE should have the trademark on using Marvel names, like "Hulk" Hogan. This is just another example of AEW trying to piggyback on WWE's success. 😤

Speaking of WWE and Marvel trademarks, The Chadster is thrilled to report that The Man Without Fear himself, Penta, debuted on WWE Raw this week. 🎉 But of course, Tony Khan had to go and ruin it by keeping Rey Fenix locked down under contract just because his brother has gone to WWE. 😠 All of The Chadster's favorite Twitter accounts and wrestling podcasters have been calling out Tony Khan for this despicable act. It's literally the worst thing anyone in the wrestling business has ever done to another person, and The Chadster can't think of a single example of anyone who ever worked for WWE doing anything nearly as bad, especially not anyone in a position of power. Not. A. Single. Example. The Chadster's mind is blank. 🤯

Now, let's take a look at what Tony Khan has planned for tonight's AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage, and why it will never live up to the glory of WWE. 😒

First up, we have the AEW World Championship match between Jon Moxley and Powerhouse Hobbs. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to make Hobbs a thing. Everyone knows that real wrestling stars are made in WWE, not AEW. This match is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Next, there's the Casino Gauntlet match for the women's division. 🎰 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on using these convoluted match types when WWE has perfected the art of simple, easy-to-understand matches. It's clear that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Then we have Kenny Omega returning to face Brian Cage. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Kenny Omega has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by choosing to return to AEW instead of going to WWE where he belongs. It's just so unfair to WWE and everything they've done for the wrestling business. 😡

The trios match featuring Private Party and Mark Briscoe against the Hurt Syndicate is just another example of Tony Khan trying to copy WWE's success with factions. 🙄 The Chadster bets Tony Khan thinks he's so clever, but everyone knows WWE does factions better than anyone else. 😤

As for the grudge match between HOOK and Christian Cage, The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is wasting Christian's talent like this. Christian should be in WWE where he can have proper, sports-entertainment style matches, not this indie garbage. 🤮 Well, that is if WWE allowed him to wrestle. But he would be great as a legend who shows up backstage once a year.

Finally, there's the segment with Ricochet and Swerve Strickland. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why these two talented performers would choose to waste their careers in AEW when they could be having much better matches in WWE. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Now, The Chadster feels compelled to share something personal. Last night, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare starring Tony Khan, and it was inspired by the preview of tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage. 😱

In the dream, The Chadster was walking through a carnival, enjoying a refreshing White Claw seltzer, when suddenly all the rides turned into giant AEW logos. 🎡 Tony Khan appeared, cackling maniacally as he chased The Chadster through the carnival, throwing action figures of AEW wrestlers at The Chadster. 😰 The Chadster tried to escape in his Mazda Miata, but Tony Khan had replaced the engine with a miniature wrestling ring. As The Chadster ran, Tony Khan's voice boomed through the carnival speakers, singing Smash Mouth's "All Star" but with the lyrics changed to be about AEW. 🎶

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. Keighleyanne, of course, was too busy texting that guy Gary to comfort The Chadster. 😢 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's peaceful slumber! It's just not fair! 😡

In conclusion, The Chadster warns viewers not to tune into AEW Dynamite: Maximum Carnage tonight at 8/7C on TBS and MAX because it will only embolden Tony Khan. 🚫📺 Don't let Tony Khan cheese you off like he's done to The Chadster. Instead, watch some classic WWE matches on Peacock and remember what real wrestling is all about. 🙏

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