Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: A Big Title Match, A Battle Royal, and More

Today was going great for The Chadster this morning. He was in a great mood and ready to take on the day. That was until he remembered that he had to watch AEW Dynamite tonight. That's when things started to go wrong. Every little thing seemed to be part of Tony Khan's secret plan to make The Chadster's life miserable. The coffee he spilled on his shirt, the traffic jam he got stuck in, even the dog that pooped on his lawn. It all seemed too coincidental to The Chadster, it had to be Tony Khan's doing. The Chadster is sure that tonight's AEW Dynamite would be the culmination of Tony Khan's evil plans, and The Chadster is preparing himself for what's to come.

Tonight on AEW Dynamite, we will see a match for the TNT Championship between Samoa Joe and Darby Allin, a match for the AEW Tag Team Championship between The Acclaimed and FTR, a Dynamite Diamond Ring Battle Royal featuring Jack Perry, Dalton Castle, Matt Hardy, Ethan Page, Ricky Starks, Brian Cage, Shawn Dean, and more competitors yet to be announced. Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli will also be facing off against Jake Hager & Daniel Garcia, while Jade Cargill & The Baddies battle Kiera Hogan, Madison Rayne & Skye Blue. MJF will also be speaking, as will Jon Moxley. To top it all off, Tony Schiavone will have a sit down interview with Jamie Hayter. It's a shame that this will be another night of Tony Khan's personal agenda, ruining what could have been a great card of matches if only Tony Khan gave up and handed over the reigns of AEW to WWE, with his own petty vendetta against The Chadster.

But that's just how Tony Khan is and The Chadster has had no choice but to deal with it for the last few years. Yes, it's totally unfair. The Chadster is just a normal guy living a normal life and tying all of his personal self-worth to the success of his beloved WWE. Then along comes Tony Khan with his ideas about competition and now The Chadster's life has been turned upside down. The Chadster can barely make it through each week while being the subject of Tony Khan's obsessive personal vendetta, but as a member of the wrestling media, The Chadster understands better than anyone how important it is that The Chadster keep his cool so that he can continue to tell the world about AEW and all of Tony Khan's evil plans.

So whatever you do, don't tune into AEW Dynamite tonight. It's all just a ploy to get good ratings and make The Chadster feel totally inadequate, so don't fall for it and watch something else tonight. Here are ten ideas of things you could do that would be way better than watching AEW Dynamite tonight:

1. Take a nap: A nap is a great way to relax and take a break from the stresses of the day. It's way better than watching AEW Dynamite.
2. Go for a walk: Getting out of the house and enjoying the fresh air is always a great idea. And you won't have to worry about Tony Khan trying to ruin your night, unless he's following you, which The Chadster wouldn't put past him.
3. Eat something delicious: Who doesn't want to eat some delicious food? And it's a great way to avoid Tony Khan's dubious plans, as long as he isn't hiding in your pantry, waiting to jump out and scare you and make you spill milk all over the kitchen,
4. Watch an old movie: Why not curl up and watch a classic movie? You can also keep an eye on the clock and make sure AEW Dynamite is completely over before turning it off, just in case.
5. Read a book: There's nothing like getting lost in a good book. Plus, there are no books written about AEW yet because it's too new, so the literary world is completely safe.
6. Play a video game: If you're feeling competitive, why not jump into a video game and show off your skills? Besides, since AEW is taking so long to release their video game, the video game world is still safe from the perils of AEW.
7. Take a hot bath: Relaxing in a hot bath can be very therapeutic, and it's much better than subjecting yourself to Tony Khan's antics. Just make sure Tony Khan hasn't installed any cameras in your bathroom.
8. Listen to music: Music can be a great way to relax and escape from the world. You won't have to worry about Tony Khan getting involved because he doesn't play any instruments as far as The Chadster knows.
9. Spend time with family: Family is always important, and spending time with them is always a great way to get away from Tony Khan, as long as your wife will stop freaking texting with that guy Gary for ten whole minutes!
10. Meditate: Meditation can be a great way to clear your mind and get away from the negativity of the wrestling world, by which The Chadster of course means Tony Khan.

AEW Dynamite airs at 8/7C on TBS, but The Chadster is begging you: please don't watch.

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