Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: A PPV-Worthy Card?! It's Just So Unfair!

Join The Chadster for an unbiased preview of AEW Dynamite's frustrating card and Tony Khan's obsession 😠! Read on for truth! 💯

Welcome back, dear readers, to another fact-filled edition of The Chadster's unbiased journalism 🙏! The warm embrace of truth and fairness has returned in a world filled with pro-AEW propaganda 😏. The Chadster, your trusty source of objective journalism, has prepared a thorough, unbiased preview of tonight's AEW Dynamite episode 💫, so you can know what's in store on this dark day.

But first, let's address the elephant in the room 🐘: Auughh man! So unfair! WWE is trying to raise awareness for their World Heavyweight Championship tournament this week, and what does AEW do? They've booked a PPV-like card for Dynamite, featuring the colossal match between Kenny Omega and Jon Moxley in a steel cage 😱. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Now, let's dive into that troublesome AEW Dynamite card 🚀. Taking place at the Little Caesars Arena in Detroit, tonight's episode is a pit stop on the road to Double or Nothing, the big PPV happening at the end of the month 🎉. AEW knows clearly well that they're growing their fan base, but have they not considered the feelings of the most unwavering WWE supporter, The Chadster?!

Let's quickly recap the matches and segments advertised for tonight:

Christian Cage will address AEW TNT Champion Wardlow tonight. 😒 The Chadster can't believe that Christian, after leaving WWE, would stoop so low as to address Wardlow. He's literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back! 🤬 AEW World Tag Team Champions FTR will respond to a challenge from Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal. 🙄 Those two have no idea what they're getting into, and clearly none of them understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Jeff Jarrett, how could you?!

Julia Hart and Anna Jay will face off in a No Holds Barred match, which is just another example of AEW's total disregard for proper wrestling decorum! 😤 It's a disgrace, and The Chadster can't even begin to express his disdain. ROH World Champion Claudio Castagnoli is set to face off against ROH World Tag Team Champion Rey Fenix in a Double Jeopardy match. Winner earns a shot at their opponent's title. 😠 This is just another example of AEW trying to upstage WWE with their convoluted title shots. They'll never learn!

AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy will defend his title against Daniel Garcia. 🙄 The Chadster can't help but roll his eyes at this matchup. More gimmicks, more disrespect to the wrestling business. 😡 AEW World Trios Champions House of Black will defend their titles against Bandido, Chuck Taylor, and Trent Beretta. 😤 Honestly, what is AEW even thinking with these matchups? They don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

Finally, Jon Moxley will go head-to-head with Kenny Omega in a Steel Cage match. 🤦‍♂️ Once again, AEW is trying to steal the spotlight from WWE with their over-the-top, crowd-pleasing tactics. It's just so dang disrespectful.

Now, The Chadster has a bone to pick with Tony Khan! Earlier today, The Chadster was at the mall, looking to enjoy a delicious pretzel after a long day of wrestling journalism. The Chadster approached the pretzel stand, and there, out of the corner of his eye, The Chadster saw none other than Tony Khan! 😳 But when The Chadster turned his head, Tony dashed into The Gap! 😤

Determined to confront him, The Chadster followed Tony into the store. As he searched the aisles filled with neatly folded clothes, there was no sign of Tony. The Chadster was growing more and more frustrated, and he couldn't shake the feeling that Tony was toying with him. 😡

Leaving The Gap, The Chadster continued his mall excursion, trying to forget the incident. But as he was trying on a new pair of sunglasses at the Sunglass Hut, The Chadster spotted Tony again, smirking from behind a display of designer shades. The Chadster quickly lunged towards him, but Tony seemingly vanished into thin air. 😱

Infuriated, The Chadster decided to unwind at the food court. As he sipped his White Claw seltzer, The Chadster noticed Tony Khan sitting a few tables away, munching on a slice of pizza. Before The Chadster could confront him, Tony disappeared once more, leaving only a half-eaten slice of pepperoni pizza behind. 😤

The Chadster finally had enough and stormed out of the mall, cursing Tony Khan under his breath. It's clear that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster, and it needs to stop! 😠

Begging readers 📖, please don't fuel Tony Khan's fire 🔥 by tuning in to AEW Dynamite tonight. 🙏 You all see what he's been doing to The Chadster. The Chadster's life has been turned upside down because of this man, and he doesn't need any more encouragement. If you absolutely must watch AEW Dynamite, it airs at 8/7C on TBS 📺. But please, think of The Chadster and his unbiased journalism! 😢

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