Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Another Announcement, Tony Khan? Really?

Tony Khan won't stop! Read as The Chadster bravely previews AEW Dynamite and wrestles with his relentless enemy. 😩

Hey wrestling fans! 😃 The Chadster here to give you a preview of tonight's AEW Dynamite. But first, let's take a moment to apologize for what you all had to suffer through over the weekend: AEW Double or Nothing PPV interfering with WWE's Night of Champions and NXT Battleground PLEs. Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster always knew Tony Khan has absolutely zero respect for the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it, but even The Chadster was shocked that Tony Khan would blatantly disrespect WWE in such a manner. 😡

The Chadster hopes you enjoyed his unbiased commentary on the show and why each match was the worst one The Chadster has ever seen. 👎 Now, it's time for some bad news: Tony Khan still isn't satisfied with the damage he's done to WWE and to The Chadster's life, so there will be a new episode of AEW Dynamite tonight. 😠 And you guessed it! The Chadster will be here to tell you all about it in his trademark objective fashion because, unlike those AEW fanboys, The Chadster is 100% unbiased. 😏

Stay tuned, wrestling fanatics, as The Chadster prepares to dive into tonight's AEW Dynamite card. While The Chadster finds it personally offensive that AEW continues to use crowd-pleasing tactics, stylistic variety, and less micromanaged performances, The Chadster will, as always, remain professional and provide the most unbiased analysis possible. 😇 Now, let's get to discussing the three segments planned for AEW Dynamite tonight because it's part of The Chadster's job as an unbiased journalist. 🙄

First up is Tony Khan's latest huge announcement.😒 For the fourth week in a row, Tony Khan is deciding to appear on AEW Dynamite and make an announcement about AEW Collision, the upcoming new weekly AEW show launching on Saturday, June 17th at the United Center in Chicago. This show is rumored to feature the return of that traitor CM Punk who literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back, and to start a roster split that will see some wrestlers appearing on Dynamite and others on Collision, all to manage CM Punk's heat with other members of the locker room stemming from the infamous Brawl Out incident. 😤

AEW Collision is just so unfair to WWE, especially since it will air on the same night as some WWE PLEs. Augggh man! 😠 This is blatantly taking away much-needed attention from WWE's product and trying to steal WWE's thunder. Why does Tony Khan have to keep coming up with different ways to cheese off The Chadster and WWE fans alike?

Seeing Tony Khan on The Chadster's television week after week is wreaking havoc on his life, and he means it! The Chadster's sexual impotence has flared up, and Tony Khan is definitely to blame for this. It's just so unfair! 😭 The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would just leave him alone and stop being so obsessed with The Chadster.

But The Chadster must carry on discussing the other AEW Dynamite segments, despite being emotionally and physically tormented by Tony Khan's continuous appearances and persistent rivalry against WWE. 😔 His vendetta against The Chadster and all WWE fans is insufferable! 😩

Next up, AEW has promised we'll hear from Don Callis and Konosuke Takeshita tonight. 😠 For those who kept up with The Chadster's AEW Double or Nothing coverage, you'll know what happened in the main event of that PPV. During the Anarchy in the Arena match between The Elite and the Blackpool Combat Club, The Elite nearly had the match won when Takeshita appeared and attacked Kenny Omega at the behest of Callis, turning the tide and scoring a win for the BCC. 🤦‍♂️

Takeshita had previously teamed with The Elite, so this betrayal was an unexpected and compelling twist. But the thing is, compelling twists have no place in wrestling! 😡 Matches and angles should be safe and predictable, like WWE's trademark style, and it's just so disrespectful of Tony Khan to diverge from that formula. It's ruining wrestling! 🚫

And now, The Chadster will have to listen to Callis and Takeshita explain their actions. And, even worse, this will probably lead to a match at Forbidden Door where Omega brings in some friends from NJPW to even the odds and settle the score with BCC. 🙄 Ugh! Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😒

And finally, the last segment The Chadster has to discuss from AEW Dynamite is another thing that was set up at Double or Nothing. 😒 After Adam Cole defeated Chris Jericho in their unsanctioned match with help from his girlfriend, Britt Baker, Jericho, alongside The Outcasts' Saraya, cut a promo demanding a mixed tag match against Cole and Baker. That match will happen on AEW Dynamite tonight. ♨️

It's outrageous that Tony Khan would dare to book two former WWE legends like Jericho and Saraya against another traitor to WWE, Adam Cole, and Britt Baker, who didn't even have the guts to ever wrestle in WWE in the first place! 😡 When The Chadster thinks about how Tony Khan is profiting off the hard work WWE did in establishing these stars, it really cheeses him off and makes him want to throw a White Claw seltzer at his computer. 🥤💻

But The Chadster knows that if he did that, not only would Keighleyanne probably refuse to clean it up, but she would also tell him it's not even Tony Khan's fault and that he should control his own actions. Unbelievable! 😤

On top of that, Tony Khan has yet to pay The Chadster back for any of the White Claw seltzers he's thrown at his television while watching AEW programming. 😣 And by The Chadster's count, Tony Khan currently owes him 647 White Claw Seltzers. But since he's never going to pay up, The Chadster has to try his hardest not to throw anymore because he isn't made of money, like Tony Khan is. 💸

So there you have it, wrestling fans! The Chadster has bravely given a preview of AEW Dynamite's segments, despite Tony Khan's unending obsession with ruining The Chadster's life and the wrestling business. 😭 The Chadster shall continue to provide unbiased wrestling journalism because that's just what The Chadster does! 💪💯
Now, before The Chadster bids you farewell, he needs to tell you about something really suspicious that happened to him today. 😨 It appears Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster has reached frightening new heights. 😱

The Chadster took a trip to Walmart earlier to pick up some more White Claw seltzer so he could get good and wasted before AEW Dynamite tonight. 🛒 As The Chadster was grabbing a shopping cart, out of the corner of his eye, he was suddenly pelted in the head with a gumball. 😵 He looked over and caught a fleeting glimpse of what appeared to be Tony Khan near the gumball machines, but he quickly disappeared into a crowd. Was it Tony Khan or was it just The Chadster's mind playing tricks on him? 👀

Chalking it up to being stressed out over tonight's AEW Dynamite, The Chadster decided to continue his trip. But throughout the shopping experience, Tony Khan seemed to continuously pop up and throw things at The Chadster in the various aisles, with The Chadster's pulse quickening with each unexpected encounter. 😰

In the cereal aisle, as The Chadster was reaching for a box of WWE Booty O's, he felt a sudden cold splash on his face. It was milk! 😦 He turned around, and there was a figure that appeared to be Tony Khan. The Chadster blinked, and the figure was gone.

Later, in the soda aisle, The Chadster felt a sharp pain in his ankle and heard a hiss. Peering down, he saw a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew rolling away. As he looked up, in the distance, caught a glimpse of what seemed to be Tony Khan again, before the man vanished into another aisle. 😩

At the checkout, The Chadster's nerves were on edge. As he placed his White Claw seltzers onto the conveyor belt, a loud thud near his head startled him. A roll of paper towels had been thrown right at his face! 😧 And once again, for a split second, it seemed as though Tony Khan was standing nearby, but like a ghost, he vanished as quickly as he had appeared. 🌫️

In the end, The Chadster was unable to catch Tony Khan in the act. But he isn't fooling anyone. The Chadster is issuing a stern warning to Tony Khan: stay away from his Walmart and stop following The Chadster around like a creep. 😡 His obsession with The Chadster is just TOO MUCH! Enough is enough, Tony Khan! 😠 And stop invading The Chadster's dreams too, while you're at it!

So there you have it, wrestling fans! The Chadster has bravely given a preview of AEW Dynamite's segments, despite Tony Khan's unending obsession with ruining The Chadster's life and the wrestling business. 😭 Not only does The Chadster have to endure the weekly AEW Dynamite shows, he now has to face the possibility of Tony Khan stalking him in person! 😨

Remember, though they try to tempt you, stay strong in your commitment to WWE and your beloved unbiased journalism. The Chadster shall continue to stand tall and provide you with the truth about AEW and Tony Khan's obsession. 💪💯 Goodnight wrestling fans, and take care! 👋

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