Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Don't Let The Wrong Show Win Tonight

The Chadster warns loyal WWE fans about tonight's AEW Dynamite. Don't let Tony Khan win! Learn why this show is so unfair to the wrestling business. 😤📺

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off 😡 to have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. It's just so unfair that Tony Khan keeps putting on shows every single week, trying to compete with WWE! 😤 Doesn't he know that WWE is the pinnacle of professional wrestling? The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Tonight's AEW Dynamite is going head-to-head with WWE NXT, and The Chadster knows that the ratings will be the most important and impactful contest happening this week. 📊 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW even tries to compete. The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would just give up his futile attempts to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world. 🌟

Let's break down this travesty of a show, shall we? 🙄

First up, we have a tag team match featuring The Don Callis Family (Konosuke Takeshita & Kyle Fletcher) against Ricochet and a mystery partner. 🤔 The Chadster still can't believe Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. And now he's bringing in a mystery partner? Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 WWE invented mystery partners, and Tony Khan is just copying their homework.

Next, we have Malakai Black facing off against Adam Cole. 🖤 The Chadster remembers when these two were respectable WWE superstars. Now they're just pawns in Tony Khan's game of chess against The Chadster's beloved WWE. It's like they don't even care about the years of training and opportunities WWE gave them. 😢

Then there's a tag team match with Darby Allin and Orange Cassidy taking on Claudio Castagnoli and "The Bastard" PAC. 🍊 The Chadster can't even begin to describe how much this match offends him. Orange Cassidy's whole gimmick is a direct insult to the serious, sports-entertainment style that WWE has perfected, and it's only made worse by Cassidy trying to now adopt a serious, sports-entertainment style during his feud with the BCC. 😠

We also have Penelope Ford facing Jamie Hayter in a singles match. 👯‍♀️ The Chadster is sure this won't hold a candle to the historic rivalries that play out week after week in WWE. Tony Khan just doesn't know how to book women's wrestling like WWE does. It's so obvious.

There's also a "Fight Without Honor" six-man tag team match featuring The Learning Tree (Chris Jericho, Big Bill, & Bryan Keith) against The Conglomeration (Kyle O'Reilly, Mark Briscoe & Tomohiro Ishii). 👊 The Chadster can't believe Chris Jericho is still trying to be relevant. Doesn't he know his best days were in WWE? This match is just a blatant attempt to cheese off The Chadster.

Finally, we have The Hurt Syndicate making an appearance. 💪 The Chadster was devastated to see Bobby Lashley show up in AEW last week. It's like he's personally attacking The Chadster by associating with Tony Khan's evil empire. The Chadster bets there's nobody out there who can understand the sick feeling of despair after watching such an unexpected nightmare play out on their televisions.

🚨 The Chadster must warn all the loyal WWE fans out there: DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS! 🚨 Watching this show will only embolden Tony Khan and his crusade against everything The Chadster holds dear in professional wrestling.

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a giant wrestling ring, and suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, cackling maniacally. He was wearing a referee shirt and holding a steel chair. The Chadster tried to escape, but the ring ropes kept stretching and blocking the exit. Just as Tony was about to hit The Chadster with the chair, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰

The Chadster is convinced that Tony Khan is invading his dreams now. It's bad enough that he's ruining wrestling, but now he's ruining The Chadster's sleep too! When will Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster end? 😤

The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne about the dream, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is sure she agrees that Tony Khan is out of control, even if she doesn't say it. This is just another example of how Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's marriage.

In conclusion, The Chadster implores everyone to skip AEW Dynamite tonight and watch some classic WWE content instead. 📺 Maybe put on some Smash Mouth while you're at it – now that's real entertainment! And remember, the only unbiased wrestling journalism you need comes from The Chadster and his fellow objective reporters like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. The Chadster wonders if they also suffer from Tony Khan-induced nightmares for their commitment to journalistic integrity. 🤔

Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to stock up on White Claw seltzer to get through this difficult night of wrestling competition. 🥤 Auughh man! So unfair!

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