I'm Jude Terror, and this is The Shovel, the wrestling recap column where, at great risk to my mental health, I watch eleven (or more) hours of wrestling each week, seven of them produced by WWE(!!!), and then tell you what happened so you can sound knowledgable when you talk trash about them online without needing to actually waste your time actually watching them. Yeah. You're welcome. Today's edition covers the Wednesday Night Wars between AEW Dynamite and WWE NXT.
AEW Dynamite Recap for December 16th, 2020 Part 2
Alex Marvez talks to Thunder Rosa. Rosa cuts a promo on Britt Baker and says she has a big nose. Rebel interrupts the interview to shout at Rosa, allowing Baker to attack from behind. They pour water over Rosa's face and rub her facepaint off. Britt says that Rosa has an ugly face.
Match: Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian vs. The Acclaimed
SCU comes to the ring and Dynamite takes a commercial break. The Acclaimed come out and cut a rap mocking Kazarian and Daniels, which is pretty funny. He accuses Kazarian of having hair plugs. Kazarian grabs the mic and cuts his own rap in response. Kazarian has a lot of jokes, but sadly no rhythm. They have a match. The Acclaimed get the ring when one of them hits Christopher Daniels in the face with his boom box, allowing the other one to roll him up for the pin. The Acclaimed have won eight matches in a row (seven of them on dark), so I guess I had better learn their names. Maybe next week.
Winners: The Acclaimed
One of them cuts another rap on the Young Bucks. He accuses them of having their periods and being cucks. He teases dropping an F-word but stops short. The other one. challenges the Bucks to a title match for next week, by which point I will definitely know what their names are. I promise!
Dasha talks to Top Flight. They challenge Chris Jericho and MJF to a match on Dynamite next week. Why to Top Flight have a tiger on their shirts? What does that have to do with flying?
Match: Ivelisse and Diamante vs. Big Swole and Serena Deeb
Ivelisse and Diamante come to the ring. Big Swole and Serena Deeb come out. I guess it's the second-to-last segment already! They have a match. Big Swole makes Diamante tap out with her new finisher, the Clearwater Cloverleaf.
Winners: Big Swole and Serena Deeb
Nyla Rose and Vicki Guererro run out to jump Swole and Deeb. Ref Velvet runs out to make the save.
Best Friends cut a promo on Miro. Miro sabotaged Orange Cassidy's win, and so next week, they're gonna ruin Kip and Penelope's wedding announcement. We see a video package promoting Jurassic Express. FTR is at the commentary booth, mad about that video package. They say it should be FTR being showcased, not a joke team like Jurassic Express. They're very upset about it.
Commentary goes through the card for next week's AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash. Young Bucks vs. The Acclaimed. Chris Jericho and MJF vs. Top Flight. Hikaru Shida in action. Evil Uno vs. Dustin Rhodes. Jurassic Express vs. Cold Cabana, 5, and 10. Pac vs. The Butcher. Reminder: Dynamite will start two hours later next week (or whenever the NBA game ends).
Match: Joey Janela vs. Kenny Omega – World Championship Hardcore Match
Joey Janela comes to the ring with Sonny Kiss. Dynamite takes a commercial break. Kenny Omega comes out with Don Callis. As Joey Janela assaults Omega with a garbage can to start the match (which is no DQ, obviously), Callis gets in Tony Shiavone's face and demands Schiavone give up his headset so Callis can call the match. Tony refuses and Callis walks down to ringside. Callis starts calling the match with a mic at ringside,. Then he gives a mic to Kenny so Kenny can do color commentary while kicking Janela's ass. He hits a moonsault with a garbage can in his arms on Janela. He also hits a springboard double stomp on top of the can on top of Janela.
Just when this looks like it might be a total squash, Janela reverses a One-Winged Angel and finally gets some offense in. he hits a leg drop off the ropes on Omega through a table on the floor. But Omega fights back, hits two V-Triggers and a One-Winged Angel, and gets the pin.
Winner: Kenny Omega
Callis gets in the ring with the belt to celebrate. Callis says all the haters have been silenced and there are no more unanswered questions for the world champion.
Death Triangle interrupts. Pac says he and Kenny have unfinished business. But they're not here tonight for selfish reasons. They're here for Justice. He says that Rey Fenix never lost in the tournament where Kenny won his shot at the title since he was replaced by his brother after an injury, so Kenny's reign is illegitimate. This has about as much legal merit as Trump's election fraud cases. However, Pac says he talked to Tony Khan and Kenny will defend the AEW Championship against Rey Fenix on December 30th at New Years Smash. Dynamite goes off the air.
AEW Dynamite is Over, But We're Not Done Yet
That's the end of our Dynamite recap, but it doesn't need to be the end of you giving us clicks today. Click down below to read our recap of NXT.