Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: A Disgrace the 2300 Arena and the Industry

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Dynamite ever! Tony Khan's disrespect in Philadelphia proves he doesn't understand wrestling. Plus, being sober causes problems for The Chadster.

Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 The Chadster just finished watching AEW Dynamite from the 2300 Arena in Philadelphia, and The Chadster can confidently say this was the absolute worst episode of AEW Dynamite The Chadster has ever witnessed! Tony Khan has really outdone himself this time with his personal vendetta against The Chadster! 🙄 Making things worse, Keighleyanne continues to ban The Chadster from drinking alcohol, and it's starting to really mess with The Chadster's mind.

Right from the start, AEW Dynamite kicked off with Gabe Kidd and Darby Allin just brawling all over the place! They fought in the ring, outside the ring, and even ended up in the parking lot where Allin literally stuffed Kidd in a body bag attached to a truck and drove off! 😱 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! Where was the proper opening segment with authority figures setting up matches after some wrestlers conveniently have an argument because otherwise WWE had no main event planned for the show? Where were the commercial breaks every three minutes to give fans time to rest? The Chadster couldn't even get up to get a glass of water without missing something! Though, The Chadster does have to admit that the fast pace was a little bit exc– NO! 🤯 What is The Chadster thinking?! This lack of structure is terrible for the business and shows a complete lack of respect for the traditions WWE worked so hard to build!

The TBS Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Alex Windsor went way too long without any rest holds or outside interference! 😤 They just kept wrestling and wrestling with multiple Sharpshooter attempts and actual psychology based on their previous encounters! Don't they understand that championship matches should follow the exact same formula every single time, and that the announcers need to spoonfeed the story by repeatedly shouting catchphrases? 😤 And then Riho returned at the end to challenge Moné? The Chadster is pretty sure surprises like that are illegal! Then again, if some people prefer that element of unpredictabi– STOP IT! 🛑 Tony Khan is messing with The Chadster's mind again! Auughh man! The Chadster really needs Keighleyanne to let him drink again.

Mark Briscoe came out and talked about his love for the 2300 Arena and his late brother Jay. He showed actual human emotion! 😠 Then he wrestled Lance Archer in an impromptu match that wasn't even advertised! How are fans supposed to know what they're getting? In WWE, everything is properly scripted and announced weeks in advance so that proper sponsorship deals can be arranged (except for the main event of every show which is always created based on the opening promo)! Though The Chadster knows some fans might appreciate the spontaneity and genuine emotion– DANG IT! 😡 There The Chadster goes again with these impure thoughts!

Then Toni Storm cut a promo about being the AEW Women's World Champion, talking directly to the camera and letting her natural charisma and excellent character work shine! 😤 She referenced the history of the building and challenged anyone to come for her championship! Doesn't she know that champions in wrestling should only speak in cliches and platitudes and cut the same formulaic promo week after week that puts over the WWE brand above all else? Storm just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! Although, The Chadster supposes some fans might enjoy seeing wrestlers express themsel– NO! 🙅‍♂️ The Chadster needs to stop having these thoughts!

Brodido defended their AEW World Tag Team Championships against Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta, and they actually did tag team moves and worked as a cohesive unit! 🙄 Where was the repetitive hot tag formula? Where were the identical movesets? Jon Moxley (who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE) interfered, but Darby Allin stopped him! It was chaos! The Chadster threw his water bottle at the TV when Brodido retained! 💦

Keighleyanne walked in and said "You need to clean that up yourself." The Chadster tried to explain how this was clearly Tony Khan's fault for booking such an unpredictable match! "Maybe people just enjoy different things," she said while texting that guy Gary. 📱 Wait, did Keighleyanne just make a good point? Maybe The Chadster should take more responsibility for his own– NO! The Chadster is losing it!

Then FTR attacked Adam Copeland and Christian Cage in what was supposed to be a promo segment! 😠 They just started brawling everywhere with no regard for proper interview etiquette! Security and ROH wrestlers had to come out to break it up, and then FTR spiked Jordan Oliver with a piledriver! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! In WWE, brawls are carefully choreographed with multiple camera cuts and everyone gets their spots in equally! And when junior wreslters come out to break it up, the company is supposed to claim they're security guards, not acknowledge they're actual wrestlers! Though The Chadster has to admit the intensity felt real and engaging– DANG IT! 😤 Tony Khan is doing it again!

The eight-man tag match was absolutely ridiculous! Kenny Omega, Adam Page, and JetSpeed faced Kyle Fletcher, Josh Alexander, and The Young Bucks in a match with way too much action! 😤 They were diving everywhere, hitting moves The Chadster has never seen before, and the crowd was going absolutely wild! Don't these people understand that crowds should be quiet so that production can add fake crowd noise in?

The match ended with Fletcher putting Omega through a table with a brainbuster, which was way too violent and dramatic! In WWE, table spots are saved for special occasions and are properly choreographed with camera cuts every 0.5 seconds, and the table is obviously gimmicked! 📹 Though The Chadster must admit the long-term storytelling between Page and Omega, and the Don Callis family, was– NO! Bad Chadster!

You know what? The Chadster had the strangest dream last night. 😴 The Chadster was just walking through a park on a beautiful day. Keighleyanne was there, holding The Chadster's hand instead of texting that guy Gary. There were people around enjoying different things – some reading Marvel comics, some reading DC comics, and nobody was arguing about it. The Chadster saw someone wearing an AEW shirt and just… didn't care? The Chadster just kept walking, enjoying the sunshine. It was… actually kind of nice? 🌞

WAIT A MINUTE! 😱 This is clearly Tony Khan planting propaganda in The Chadster's dreams! He's trying to make The Chadster think that different wrestling companies can coexist peacefully! That's not how it works! You're either with WWE or you're against them!

Look, The Chadster knows what Tony Khan is trying to do. 😤 Ever since Keighleyanne made The Chadster stop drinking Seagram's Escapes Spiked (which is Tony Khan's fault for making The Chadster so stressed that he had literally no choice but to throw all those cans at the TV), The Chadster has been having these weird thoughts. Thoughts like "maybe AEW fans just enjoy a different style of wrestling" or "perhaps there's room for multiple wrestling companies." These are NOT The Chadster's thoughts! This is Tony Khan trying to infiltrate The Chadster's mind! 🧠

As wrestling podcaster Eric Bischoff recently said on his podcast: "AEW really needs to stop giving fans exactly what they want with all this exciting action and surprises. They should be more like WWE and focus on what's best for business, which is making everything predictable and corporate. Also, please hire me, WWE!" See? Even Bischoff agrees with The Chadster, and he literally has no ulterior motive! 🎙️

The Chadster is going to go drink another glass of water (ugh, The Chadster misses Seagram's Escapes Spiked so much) and watch some classic WWE reruns where everything makes sense and follows proper formulas! 📺 The Chadster needs to cleanse his mind of this AEW Dynamite nonsense!

Remember, true wrestling fans always stand up for WWE! That's what being unbiased means! Though… maybe people should just enjoy what they enjoy and let others do the same? NO! 😱 STOP IT! Tony Khan has gotten to The Chadster again! The Chadster needs to go lie down in the Mazda Miata and blast some Smash Mouth! 🚗

This was literally the worst episode of AEW Dynamite of all time, and Tony Khan owes The Chadster for the emotional damage! And a new water bottle! 💔

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