Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Chaos in Canada Before Dynasty PPV

El Presidente reviews AEW Dynamite from Edmonton! Kenny Omega knees MJF, Jericho picks his Dynasty opponent, and Ospreay leads United Empire into total chaos!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from a luxury penthouse suite in Edmonton that I most certainly did not commandeer from a Canadian oil baron at gunpoint. Last night's episode of AEW Dynamite was the final stop before AEW Dynasty this Sunday in Vancouver, and let me tell you, it was more chaotic than the time I tried to explain socialism to my good friend Kim Jong-un using only professional wrestling metaphors. He still thinks a redistribution of wealth is when the referee hands you the title belt. But I digress! Let us break down every glorious segment of Dynamite from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada!

Will Ospreay and the Death Riders Turn the Parking Lot Into a War Zone

AEW Dynamite opened the way all great political revolutions begin — with a parking lot brawl! Will Ospreay and Jon Moxley were throwing hands among the automobiles like two CIA operatives fighting over who gets to destabilize my beautiful country this quarter. The rest of the Death Riders showed up because bullies always travel in packs — trust me, I know, I went to dictator school with several of them — but then Alex Windsor and the United Empire arrived to even the odds! The brawl spilled into the arena, and Ospreay challenged the Death Riders to an 8-Man Chaos in Canada match for the main event. Bold strategy. When someone attacks me in a parking lot, I usually just have them exiled, but I suppose challenging them to a wrestling match works too.

Don Callis Delivers Bad News About the TNT Title

Don Callis came out to announce that Kyle Fletcher was injured and had to vacate the TNT Championship. Comrades, losing a title due to injury is devastating. It is almost as bad as the time I lost control of my country's eastern provinces because I was too busy watching Dynamite to notice the coup. Callis said a new TNT Champion would be crowned at Dynasty in a Casino Gauntlet, and then pivoted to promoting the Don Callis Family's various schemes. Say what you will about Don Callis, but the man could sell sand to a desert. He would have made a magnificent propaganda minister in my cabinet.

Don Callis Family Defeats Darby Allin, Bandido & Jack Perry in Trios Action

The trios match saw Andrade El Ídolo, Mark Davis, and Konosuke Takeshita defeat Darby Allin, Bandido, and "Jungle" Jack Perry. Davis hit Perry with a piledriver and Andrade followed with The Message for the pin. A devastating combination, comrades — almost as devastating as the one-two punch of sanctions and frozen bank accounts the CIA hit me with last Tuesday. But the real chaos came after the match when The Young Bucks ran in, then Kazuchika Okada came out to save Takeshita, only for Okada and Takeshita to immediately start fighting each other. Then The Rascalz and Myron Reed got involved! It was like a United Nations assembly — everyone shows up and nobody can agree on anything.

Dr. Sampson Confirms Kenny Omega Is Healthy (Take That, MJF)

Dr. Sampson provided a medical update on Kenny Omega, confirming that despite MJF's attempts to cast doubt on Omega's health, the God of Pro Wrestling was fully cleared and in the best shape of his career. He acknowledged past diverticulitis complications but said those days were behind him. Comrades, I know all about people questioning your fitness. My political rivals once claimed I was too out of shape to lead a revolution. I proved them wrong by personally leading the charge up a very small hill. The point is, never let your enemies define your narrative.

Willow Nightingale Retains the TBS Championship Against Queen Aminata

Willow Nightingale successfully defended the TBS Championship against Queen Aminata, who was returning after nearly six months on the shelf. Nightingale finished the match with the Babe with the Powerbomb, because nothing says "welcome back" like getting slammed into the canvas with the force of a socialist revolution. But the real story was Hikaru Shida watching from the crowd, still staring daggers at the champion after their near-miss on Collision. Comrades, I am familiar with this tactic. My old friend Fidel used to stare at people from across the room for hours until they gave him what he wanted. It worked on waiters, diplomats, and at least one confused lifeguard.

MJF Gets the Video Package Treatment

A video package aired recapping MJF's entire journey, from All In through his current AEW World Championship reign heading into Dynasty. It was a very well-produced piece that reminded everyone why MJF is one of the most compelling characters in wrestling. It also reminded me of the propaganda reels my state-run television network produces about me, except MJF's package had better production values. I need to talk to my media team about that.

Chris Jericho Returns and Puts Ricochet on THE LIST

The moment Edmonton had been waiting for! Chris Jericho came out to address his shocking return to AEW last week in Winnipeg, and he signed a brand new contract right there in the ring. But then Ricochet interrupted and told Jericho not to come back. Comrades, telling Chris Jericho not to come back to wrestling is like telling me not to nationalize another industry — it only makes us want to do it more! Jericho revealed that his new contract included a clause allowing him to pick his Dynasty opponent, and he chose Ricochet by putting him "on the list." The crowd went absolutely wild. Jericho vs. Ricochet at Dynasty is now official, and I predict it will be more entertaining than the time I challenged the president of a neighboring country to a steel cage match at the UN General Assembly. He declined, which I count as a forfeit.

Backstage Tension Between Okada and Takeshita

Backstage, Callis announced that Okada and Takeshita would team up against the Young Bucks at Dynasty. Takeshita objected because he wants Okada's title, but Callis insisted they cooperate first. They reluctantly shook hands, but Okada belittled Takeshita and nearly triggered another fight. Comrades, forced alliances between rivals never work. I once made two of my generals share an office to "build teamwork." Within a week, one had booby-trapped the coffee machine and the other had filled the office with live chickens. Some people simply cannot coexist.

Tommaso Ciampa Earns the #1 Spot in the TNT Title Casino Gauntlet

Tommaso Ciampa defeated Máscara Dorada in a hard-fought match, finishing him with Willow's Bell and a bicycle knee to earn the coveted #1 entry in the TNT Title Casino Gauntlet at Dynasty. Comrades, entering a gauntlet match at #1 is both a blessing and a curse — much like being a dictator. You get there first, you set the tone, but everyone else shows up rested and ready to take what is yours. I wish Ciampa the best of luck. He will need it more than I needed that secret tunnel out of the presidential palace in 2019.

The Dogs Are Coming for the Trios Titles

Backstage, David Finlay, Clark Connors, and Gabe Kidd declared their intentions to come after the AEW World Trios Titles and laid out their plans for Collision this Saturday. Comrades, these three looked like they meant business. They reminded me of the group of mercenaries I once hired to guard my beach house, except The Dogs are considerably more articulate and slightly less likely to steal the silverware.

Thekla Has Some Colorful Words for Jamie Hayter

Thekla interrupted Lexy Nair backstage and absolutely tore into Jamie Hayter, calling her the "dumbest bitch alive" and promising that at Dynasty, Hayter would be "the dumbest bitch dead." Comrades, that is the kind of psychological warfare I can respect! When I was in dictator school, this would have earned top marks in our Intimidation 301 class. Thekla is bringing a level of intensity to this feud that makes me genuinely concerned for everyone involved, including Lexy Nair, who was just trying to do her job.

FTR and Friends Absolutely Brutalize Cope and Christian Cage

Cope and Christian Cage came to the ring to talk about their Dynasty match against FTR, but instead they got ambushed by Trent Beretta and Rocky Romero, who were then joined by FTR and Stokely for a five-on-two beatdown. Cope took a chair-assisted knee, and Christian's arm was crushed in a chair stomp. Comrades, this was brutal. It was like watching the CIA conduct "enhanced negotiations" — efficient, ruthless, and leaving everyone worse off than before. The question now is whether Cope and Cage can even make it to Dynasty in one piece. In my experience, having your arm crushed in a steel chair is not ideal preparation for a tag team match. I speak from personal experience, though in my case it was a folding table at a peace summit.

Darby Allin Gets Personal About His World Title Aspirations

Backstage, Darby cut an emotional promo saying he needed the AEW World Title because if he could not become world champion after everything he has put himself through, what was it all for? He also warned Andrade ahead of their Dynasty match. Comrades, I felt this promo in my soul. It is the same existential question I ask myself every morning: if I cannot maintain absolute power over my nation after everything I have sacrificed, what was it all for? The answer, of course, is the beach house. But for Darby, the answer is the championship, and I believe in him. Mostly.

Chaos in Canada: Ospreay and United Empire Triumph Over the Death Riders

The main event delivered exactly what was promised — absolute chaos! Ospreay, Callum Newman, Francesco Akira, and HENARE defeated Moxley, PAC, Claudio Castagnoli, and Daniel Garcia in an Anything Goes match that featured table spots, wild brawling, and the kind of mayhem that would make even the most hardened revolutionary blush. The finish came when Ospreay hit Moxley with a Hidden Blade through a table for the pin. Comrades, that was more satisfying than the time I successfully overthrew — well, never mind, my lawyers have advised me to stop telling that story. After the match, Ospreay tried to continue the attack, but Claudio pulled Moxley to safety, living up to his role as the Death Riders' designated responsible adult.

Kenny Omega Stands Tall to Close AEW Dynamite

The show ended with its strongest segment. First, a career retrospective video package on Omega aired, covering his NJPW legacy, his AEW career, and his comeback from diverticulitis. Then Omega came to the ring and delivered a passionate promo about legacy and responsibility and why he needed to take the AEW World Title from MJF. MJF interrupted, told Omega this would be his final title shot, and insisted Omega was no longer on his level. Omega offered a handshake — because he is a good sportsman and also Canadian — but MJF faked accepting and tried a cheap shot. Omega ducked, kneed MJF right in the face, took the Dynamite Diamond Ring, dropped it on MJF's body, and stood tall as Dynamite went off the air. Comrades, THAT is how you close a wrestling show! It is also how I close most diplomatic summits, minus the diamond ring. MJF learned a valuable lesson: never try to sucker-punch a Canadian in Canada. That is Day One dictator stuff.

El Presidente's Final Verdict on AEW Dynamite

Comrades, this was a strong episode of AEW Dynamite that did exactly what the final Dynamite before a pay-per-view should do — it made me want to watch Dynasty on Sunday, and it gave us enough action and chaos to keep even the most jaded socialist dictator entertained for two hours. The Omega/MJF closing segment was excellent, Jericho picking Ricochet was a delightful surprise, and the Chaos in Canada main event delivered the kind of violence that would make even my secret police say "that seemed excessive." The FTR beatdown of Cope and Cage added real stakes, and the women's division continues to quietly build compelling stories.

Now if you will excuse me, I must flee this penthouse before the Canadian authorities realize I am here. Until next time, comrades — enjoy Dynasty, redistribute your wealth, and remember: El Presidente loves you, even if the CIA does not!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!