Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: How Master P Betrayed Wrestling and Hip Hop

The Chadster suffers through another AEW Dynamite as celebrity cameos, spotfests, and disrespect to the business abound! 😡

The Chadster had to endure another episode of AEW Dynamite last night, and once again, Tony Khan has absolutely cheesed The Chadster off! 😡 It's like he's booking this show specifically to upset The Chadster, and The Chadster is just so sick of it. Let The Chadster tell you all about this travesty that aired on TBS.

AEW Dynamite started with a hip-hop celebrity, Master P, introducing the new trios champions. 🎤 Seriously? Using mainstream celebrities to try to seem cool? That's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back since only WWE should be allowed to use celebrities to boost ratings! 😤 WWE would never have a rapper get involved in the show, except when Travis Scott got involved in the main event of WrestleMania last weekend, but that was DIFFERENT. Then Jon Moxley and the Death Riders showed up, followed by The Young Bucks and Kazuchika Okada, and then Swerve Strickland and Kenny Omega got involved too.

It was just too many people in one segment! 🤯 WWE would never have this many stars interacting at once because Triple H understands that wrestling should be predictable and methodical. Having all these interweaving storylines and faction warfare is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Give The Chadster simple storytelling, like The Rock wanting Cody Rhodes' soul so bringing in Travis Scott to help turn John Cena heel and then disappearing from the storyline after that but still sending Scott out at WrestleMania. That's real storytelling, not this jumbled mess Tony Khan puts out. 💔

Mark Briscoe defeated Ricochet in a match that was just way too fast-paced and exciting. 🏃‍♂️ There were topes and cutters and all kinds of crazy moves that The Chadster absolutely hates. The Chadster misses when Ricochet was in WWE being used properly (which means barely used at all). The fans were actually cheering this technical display instead of sitting quietly like good WWE fans and letting the computer-generated piped-in crowd noise take center stage. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

FTR and Stokely Hathaway came out to confront the Rock N Roll Express, and they actually attacked those legends! 👴 In WWE, legends are treated with respect by being brought back for one-off appearances where they stand there and smile while being introduced. But AEW actually uses them in storylines? Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

The Young Bucks beat Speedball Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight in a match with way too many flips and kicks. 🤸‍♂️ The Chadster was so upset watching this athletic display that The Chadster threw his White Claw seltzer right at the TV screen! 💦

The Chadster had to explain to Keighleyanne why there was seltzer all over the floor, but she just rolled her eyes and said, "Clean it up yourself, I'm busy." She went back to texting that guy Gary while The Chadster was on his hands and knees wiping up seltzer. 📱 This is clearly Tony Khan's fault for making The Chadster so upset with his spotfest wrestling that doesn't tell stories the WWE way!

MJF tried to join the Hurt Syndicate and offered Bobby Lashley his car, but then Lashley and Shelton Benjamin just drove off with it? 🚙 This is supposed to be entertainment? In WWE, storylines about property involve proper contracts and corporate ownership disputes, not outright theft! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤

Josh Alexander and Konosuke Takeshita defeated Will Ospreay and Brody King in a match that had way too many moves. 💫 The Chadster appreciates how in WWE, wrestlers stick to about 5 moves maximum, with plenty of rest holds in between. That's real wrestling! This technical showcase with varied offense and multiple styles is just Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster. 😡

In the main event, Jamie Hayter beat Kris Statlander to advance to the finals of the Owen Hart tournament. 🏆 The match was way too physical, and both women were working too hard. In WWE, matches are properly paced so that nobody has too put in too much effort, as the wrestling gods intended! Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand wrestling at all if he thinks people want to see high-quality matches on free television. 🙄

Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through New Orleans (obviously influenced by the AEW Dynamite location), and The Chadster kept seeing signs for "Tony Khan's Wrestling Suplex-a-torium" on every street corner. The Chadster tried to escape the city, but every road led back to the Lakefront Arena. 🏟️

When The Chadster finally gave up and went inside, the arena was empty except for Tony Khan sitting nude and cross-legged in the middle of the ring surrounded by White Claw cans. "I've been waiting for you, Chadster," he said, "I've booked every hotel in the city so you have to stay with me." Then he started doing the Young Bucks' superkick party dance while Master P played "All Star" by Smash Mouth on a boombox. 🎵 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's not professional! 😱

As Eric Bischoff wisely said on his podcast last week, "AEW's biggest problem is that they're trying to please their fans instead of copying WWE's proven formulas. If Tony Khan was smart, he'd make every match end in disqualification and have authority figure storylines that last six months too long." See? Even objective wrestling journalists agree with The Chadster! 🧠

The Chadster is going to drown his sorrows in a 12-pack of White Claw while sitting in his Mazda Miata in the garage after this episode of AEW Dynamite. Maybe Keighleyanne will notice The Chadster is missing and stop texting that guy Gary long enough to check on him, but The Chadster doubts it. 😢

Tony Khan has ruined The Chadster's marriage, The Chadster's enjoyment of professional wrestling, and The Chadster's ability to perform in the bedroom. When will the torture end? The Chadster may be one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, but even The Chadster has his limits! 😭

⭐ Rating: ZERO STARS! (Because Tony Khan has personally ruined The Chadster's life)

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!