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The Chadster breaks down how Tony Khan's latest episode of AEW Dynamite literally stabbed Triple H in the back! 😤 So unbiased! 💯
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling
AEW Dynamite Review: Long Term Storytelling Has No Place in Wrestling
The Chadster breaks down how Tony Khan's latest episode of AEW Dynamite literally stabbed Triple H in the back! 😤 So unbiased! 💯
Article Summary
- AEW Dynamite's booking literally disrespects WWE by prioritizing long-term storytelling over random moments.
- MJF's promo with Hangman Page stabbed Triple H in the back, disrespecting traditional wrestling values.
- Match quality with technical moves and emotional feuds show Tony Khan's vendetta against WWE's style.
- Personal life affected by AEW; Keighleyanne distracted by Gary, as Tony Khan ruins life's balance.
The Chadster has to start this review of AEW Dynamite by sharing something deeply disturbing that happened last night 😰 After watching this totally disrespectful episode, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. In the dream, The Chadster was walking through a vintage movie theater, and all the movie posters were replaced with pictures of matches from last night's AEW Dynamite. Suddenly, Tony Khan emerged from behind the concession stand wearing nothing but a popcorn bucket and started throwing White Claws at The Chadster while yelling "This is long-term storytelling, Chad!" The Chadster tried to escape, but every exit door just led to more theater lobbies with more Tony Khans! Auughh man! So unfair! 🏃♂️
Speaking of unfair, let's talk about how AEW Dynamite started with MJF and "Hangman" Adam Page doing a promo battle that The Chadster absolutely cannot believe was allowed on television 😡 The way they referenced real emotions and past history literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. This is not how you do wrestling promos – where were the scripted catchphrases and corporate sponsor mentions?
The trios match with Samoa Joe, Shibata, and HOOK against Christian Cage's team was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 😤 Having actual martial arts-style strikes and technical wrestling moves instead of just basic punches and kicks? These people don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.
Don't even get The Chadster started on that street fight between Powerhouse Hobbs and Big Bill 😠 The Chadster had to explain to Keighleyanne how using actual weapons and blood is so different from WWE's carefully sanitized chair shots and kendo sticks, but she just kept texting that guy Gary and rolled her eyes. The Chadster knows she secretly agrees though.
The promo segment with Toni Storm was just another example of Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster 😤 Using character work and personality instead of just having generic matches? So disrespectful.
Jon Moxley and Adam Copeland's segment made The Chadster so angry that he threw his White Claw seltzer at the TV 😡 Now there's a mess on the floor that Keighleyanne refuses to clean up, saying something about "taking responsibility for your own actions." But it's clearly Tony Khan's fault!
The match between Kris Statlander and Megan Bayne was just another example of how AEW doesn't understand wrestling 🙄 Penelope Ford interfering to help Bayne get the win expects fans to have seen Ford and Bayne collaborate over the last few weeks, which is more than can be expected of wrestling fans, who only remember specific "moments." It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.
It's ALWAYS Staturday night when Kris Statlander is in action!She and Megan Bayne square off as #AEWDynamite is LIVE on TBS and on max
LIKE DERRICK BROOKS TO A RUNNING BACKGOT DAMN!#AEWDynamite is LIVE on TBS and max
POWER PERSONIFIED!#AEWDynamite is LIVE on TBS and max
Then we had Ricochet coming out there with his stolen robe promo, which The Chadster couldn't even watch without getting so upset that The Chadster had to pause the show to get another White Claw 😤 The way Prince Nana tried to make it emotional about Jimmy Rave's legacy? That's not what wrestling promos should be about! They should be about catchphrases and pointing at the WrestleMania sign!
The main event with Orange Cassidy vs Roderick Strong literally made The Chadster sick to his stomach 😫 Having a dramatic match with near-falls and storytelling instead of a distraction roll-up finish? These people don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄 As wrestling journalism icon Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio just yesterday, "These AEW matches need more rest holds and fewer moves that get the crowd excited." Such wise words that Tony Khan stubbornly ignores.
What really cheeses The Chadster off the most is how Tony Khan thinks he's so smart with all this "long-term storytelling" 🙄 The way Toni Storm's character has evolved over time, how the MJF and Hangman Page feud references their history, and how every match seems to connect to some larger narrative – it's just not how wrestling should be! Wrestling should be about random moments that don't connect to anything else, like someone going through a table or a surprise return that leads nowhere. As wrestling journalism legend Eric Bischoff always says on his podcast, "Long-term storytelling is killing the business. What we need is more 50/50 booking and cuckold storylines."
The Chadster was so upset after watching this show that The Chadster had to explain to Keighleyanne how damaging this kind of booking is to the wrestling business, but she just kept texting that guy Gary and muttered something about "getting therapy." The Chadster knows she secretly agrees though 😤
The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata to get more White Claws after the show while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" to calm down, when The Chadster could have sworn he saw Tony Khan in the rearview mirror making booking notes 😨 But when The Chadster turned around, he was gone! This kind of harassment has to stop!
The bottom line is that this episode of AEW Dynamite was just another example of Tony Khan trying to ruining The Chadster's life 😭 It's time for real wrestling journalists to stand up and say enough is enough! 🚫
💯 Unbiased Rating: 0.0/10 White Claws
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