Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynasty, cm punk, wrestling

AEW Dynasty Preview: How and Why Not to Watch Tonight's PPV

The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Dynasty PPV, a clusterfudge of bullying poor CM Punk and disrespecting WWE. 😡 It's just so unfair! Auughh man! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡😤 The Chadster is just so cheesed off about tonight's AEW Dynasty PPV. 😠 Tony Khan and his band of bullies in AEW are at it again, and this time they're going after poor CM Punk. 😢 Everyone is wondering if Jack Perry will return tonight to help The Young Bucks, and it's making The Chadster furious! 😡🤬

Tony Khan Bullies CM Punk and The Chadster

It's just more bullying of CM Punk, who was fired from AEW for the reasonable act of randomly attacking various wrestlers backstage and trying to fight Tony Khan. 😤 If there's one thing The Chadster can empathize with, it's hating Tony Khan. 😠 Now, AEW wants to bring back Jack Perry to massive heat, proving wrong all the extremely unbiased people who said airing the Punk/Perry fight footage wouldn't help anyone in AEW, like The Chadster's good friend Gavin Sheehan who wrote an excellent hit piece on AEW last week. 📝💻 How dare Tony Khan make The Chadster's friend Gavin look like he has no idea what he's talking about. 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😱 This time, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through the halls of The Chadster's old high school. 🏫 Khan's eyes glowed red and he growled as he pursued The Chadster, who tried to hide in various classrooms. 😨 But every time The Chadster thought he was safe, Khan would burst through the door, snarling and reaching out with his clawed hands. 👹 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, heart racing. 💔 How dare Tony Khan invade The Chadster's dreams like this! 😡 The Chadster demands that Khan stop being so obsessed with him! 😤

AEW Dynasty Full Card Preview

But back to this dreadful AEW Dynasty PPV card. 🙄 Swerve Strickland is challenging Samoa Joe for the AEW World Championship, a match designed to throw a cheap shot at WWE, who fired Strickland, as if WWE just didn't know how to book him properly. 😒 Unbelievable that Tony Khan would book a championship chase just to spite WWE. 😠 Then there's Thunder Rosa challenging Toni Storm for the AEW Women's World Championship, a bout surrounded by intrigue with Deonna Purrazzo, Mariah May, and even Britt Baker, who hasn't been seen in months, potentially interfering. 🙄 This circus is designed to make this match seem more important than a WWE match, which is so unfair. 😤

The Young Bucks will face FTR in the finals of the tournament to crown new AEW World Tag Team Champions. 🙄 In WWE, title matches aren't decided by thrown-together tournaments designed to pick on and bully poor CM Punk. 😢 And Kazuchika Okada will challenge PAC for the AEW Continental Championship, a title that is nothing compared to the superior Intercontinental Championship in WWE. 😒

Willow Nightingale will challenge Julia Hart for the TBS Championship, and The Chadster is sure Mercedes Moné will try to get involved somehow, proving her lack of respect for WWE, which she walked out on, stabbing the entire WWE Women's Division in the back. 😠 Kyle O'Reilly will challenge Roderick Strong for the AEW International Championship, using a rivalry built on the back of both men's work in WWE NXT to sell an AEW PPV. 🙄 It's so underhanded but The Chadster expects nothing more from Tony Khan. 😒

Meanwhile, HOOK will defend the FTW Championship against Chris Jericho. 😠 It cheeses The Chadster off so bad that Jericho, a former WWE Champion, would try to give the rub to HOOK, a nepo baby holding a title that started under a company for which WWE now owns the trademark. 😤 And then there's Will Ospreay, who couldn't cut it in a WWE schedule and so chose AEW when he left New Japan, facing Bryan Danielson, who did the same when he left WWE. 😢 It's a shame both mens' talent goes to waste in AEW. 😔

Plus, Adam Copeland, Eddie Kingston, and Mark Briscoe will face the House of Black. 🙄 What, did Tony Khan run out of frivolous titles to put on the line for this one? 😒

On the pre-show, Matt Sydal will face Trent Beretta, and Orange Cassidy and Katsuyori Shibata will take on Lee Moriarty and Shane Taylor. 😴 AEW doesn't know to put on a pre-show, not like WWE, who knows you need guys like Booker T and various Sirius XM Radio Hosts providing respectful analysis, not this in-ring action garbage. 🗑️

Plus, Daddy Ass and The Acclaimed, AEW Trios Champions, will face Bullet Club Gold, ROH Trios Champions, to unify those belts. 🙄 Obviously they're just copying WWE's various undisputed championship storylines here. 😒

Start Time and How to Avoid Watching AEW Dynasty

The Chadster warns viewers not to buy this PPV, which they can find on their local PPV providers, or stream via Bleacher Report or Triller TV (formerly Fite). 🚫💸 The main card starts at 8PM Eastern time, and the pre-show, airing on AEW's YouTube, begins at 6:30PM Eastern. 🕰️ Of course, tickets for the Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis are still available because AEW doesn't know how to sell out a show like WWE does. 😏

Auughh man! The Chadster is just so emotionally damaged by all of this! 😭💔 The Chadster tried to talk to Keighleyanne about it, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱🙄 Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's life and marriage! 😡 The Chadster is going to crack open a White Claw and try to forget this whole thing is happening. 🥤😔 If only AEW would just go out of business and stop bullying The Chadster! 😢 It's just so unfair! 😭😤

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