Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, AEW Grand Slam Australia, wrestling

AEW Grand Slam Australia Preview: Your Guide to Tony Khan Down Under

The Chadster previews AEW Grand Slam Australia and explains why every match tonight is a personal attack by Tony Khan on The Chadster and the wrestling business 😤

The Chadster cannot believe what Tony Khan is putting The Chadster through tonight 😤😤😤 As if it wasn't bad enough that The Chadster is living in an abandoned Blockbuster Video with a family of raccoons, now The Chadster has to sit here on a busted-up recliner he salvaged from a dumpster and preview AEW Grand Slam Australia, a show that has absolutely no business existing when WWE already perfected the art of running shows in Australia with their premium live events 🙄 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

And before anyone says The Chadster is being biased, let The Chadster remind everyone that The Chadster is actually one of the only unbiased journalists left in professional wrestling 📰 The Chadster calls it like The Chadster sees it, and what The Chadster sees tonight is Tony Khan desperately trying to cheese off The Chadster on Valentine's Day of all days 💔 Not that Valentine's Day matters anymore since Keighleyanne is probably spending it texting that guy Gary, which is also Tony Khan's fault.

The raccoons have been absolutely beside themselves all day 🦝😰 Vincent K. Raccoon has been pacing back and forth across the Blockbuster counter, knocking over old DVD cases and chittering nervously. Linda Raccoon gathered all the baby raccoons — Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon — into a protective huddle behind the old popcorn machine. Even Shane Raccoon, who is usually the bravest of the litter, has been hiding inside an empty VHS rewinder box since this morning. They can sense the evil radiating from tonight's AEW Grand Slam Australia card, and The Chadster thinks it's absolutely disgusting that Tony Khan would inflict this kind of psychological torment on innocent woodland creatures who never did anything to him 😢 These raccoons didn't ask to be dragged into Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. They're just trying to live their lives, eat garbage, and enjoy quality WWE programming on VHS. But no, Tony Khan can't even let The Chadster have that.

Eric Bischoff said it best on his podcast last week when he said, "Tony Khan running a show in Australia is like someone opening a lemonade stand next to a Coca-Cola factory. Nobody asked for it, nobody needs it, and the only reason he's doing it is because he saw WWE do it first and better. This is what happens when a billionaire's son gets handed a wrestling company instead of earning it." And you know what? The Chadster couldn't agree more 👏 That's the kind of objective, unbiased analysis that earns the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval. The Chadster sometimes wonders if Eric Bischoff also has Tony Khan haunting his dreams at night for daring to speak the truth.

Speaking of nightmares 😱 The Chadster had another terrible one about Tony Khan last night, and honestly it was one of the worst ones yet. The Chadster was wandering through the empty aisles of the Blockbuster, looking for a VHS copy of WrestleMania X-Seven to watch with the raccoons, when The Chadster noticed that all of the VHS boxes had been replaced with copies of AEW pay-per-views. The Chadster started running, but the aisles kept getting longer and longer, and then The Chadster heard footsteps behind The Chadster. The Chadster turned around and there was Tony Khan, wearing nothing but a long flowing silk robe, slowly walking toward The Chadster with his arms outstretched. His eyes were glowing a soft amber color, and he was whispering, "Watch AEW Grand Slam Australia, Chad… watch it with Chad… watch it with Tony…" The Chadster tried to run but The Chadster's feet were stuck to the floor, which had turned into some kind of warm honey-like substance that was slowly rising up The Chadster's legs. Tony Khan got closer and closer, and the warmth of the honey was rising up The Chadster's torso, and Tony Khan reached out and gently placed his hand on The Chadster's cheek and said, "You can't escape AEW Grand Slam Australia, Chad. You never could." And then The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat with Hunter Raccoon licking The Chadster's face 😰🦝 Tony Khan needs to STAY OUT of The Chadster's dreams! The Chadster is NOT obsessed with Tony Khan — Tony Khan is clearly obsessed with The Chadster! How else do you explain these dreams happening almost every single night?!

Anyway, let's get into this dreadful card for AEW Grand Slam Australia so The Chadster can explain exactly why every single match on this show is a personal attack on The Chadster and the wrestling business 😤

Where does The Chadster even begin with this one 😫 So MJF is defending the AEW World Championship against Brody King at AEW Grand Slam Australia, and the whole build to this match is everything wrong with AEW. First of all, Brody King beat MJF in an Eliminator Match last week on Dynamite with a decisive, clean finish after a Gonzo Bomb. Meanwhile, the crowd chants anti-ICE slogans while Brody is on TV. And that right there is the problem 🙄 In WWE, they understand that you don't just let a challenger beat the champion clean on free television the week before a title match. You do 50/50 booking, you have disqualification finishes, you have interference, you make sure that the brand is the real star and not any individual performer. That's how you build a proper wrestling product! But Tony Khan just lets Brody King pin the world champion clean on TV like it's nothing? Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Plus, King's viral momentum for speaking out against ICE, just the lastest example of AEW allowing its wrestlers to express their authentic, wholesome selves, is another a clear attempt to make WWE look bad for being so deeply intertwined with the presidency of WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump and making its wrestlers do things like completely debase themselves and apologize to the country of Saudi Arabia.

And now they want The Chadster to believe that Brody King has "momentum" going into AEW Grand Slam Australia? That MJF is "dangerous with his back against the wall"? This is what happens when you let important developments happen on television instead of saving everything for premium live events funded by the government of Saudi Arabia like a proper wrestling company does. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 🤦‍♂️

Also, MJF being 8-0 against first-time challengers? Nobody asked for that kind of meaningful stat-tracking. In WWE, champions lose all the time in non-title matches and it doesn't matter because the brand is bigger than any individual. But AEW has to go and make their title matches feel like they have real stakes. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 😤

Oh great, so Harley Cameron gets a homecoming in Australia at AEW Grand Slam Australia 🙄 And she's defending the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championships with Willow Nightingale against Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford, who call themselves MegaBad. The Chadster supposes Tony Khan thinks he's so clever booking an Australian wrestler in a championship match in her home country. You know what that is? That's a blatant crowd-pleasing tactic designed to manipulate the audience's emotions, and The Chadster finds it personally offensive 😡

The fact that these four competitors have been wrestling each other for over six months in a variety of matchups shows that Tony Khan has no idea how to book a wrestling show. In WWE, a rivalry gets two or maybe three matches and then everyone moves on because that's how you keep things fresh and make sure no one gets too over on their own. But AEW just lets these wrestlers keep building chemistry and telling a long-term story? Disgusting 🤮

And don't even get The Chadster started on how Willow Nightingale is a double champion carrying both the TBS Title and the tag titles while defending both on back-to-back episodes of Collision. That's the kind of thing that makes individual performers look like stars instead of making sure the company brand is the most important thing. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 😤

Hunter Raccoon actually hissed at the TV when The Chadster was reading through this match preview, which just goes to show that even raccoons can recognize when Tony Khan is trying to manipulate an audience 🦝

\The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about this one 😡😡😡 So "Hangman" Adam Page is facing Andrade El Ídolo at AEW Grand Slam Australia with a world title shot at AEW Revolution on the line, and this match makes The Chadster's blood boil for multiple reasons.

First of all, Andrade is a former WWE performer, and the fact that he's now thriving in AEW as part of the Don Callis Family with Don Callis means he has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back 🔪😭 Triple H> gave Andrade opportunities, and now Andrade is out here beating people like Swerve Strickland and Kenny Omega in back-to-back weeks on Dynamite? Auughh man! So unfair!

And Hangman having won the AEW World Trios Championships with "Speedball" Mike Bailey and "The Jet" Kevin Knight as part of Jet Set Rodeo while simultaneously being in the world title picture just shows AEW's complete disregard for the proper way to book wrestling. In WWE, you are either in a tag team or you're a singles wrestler. You don't get to do both and have it all make sense within a coherent storyline. That's too much creative freedom, and creative freedom is dangerous because it leads to unpredictable outcomes that make fans feel unsafe 😰

The fact that this is also their first-ever meeting of any kind, and they're saving it for a big show with massive stakes? In WWE, they would have had these two face each other fifteen times on Raw and SmackDown before the pay-per-view match so the audience would already know exactly what to expect. But Tony Khan wants fans to be surprised and excited? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 😤

So Kyle Fletcher just won the TNT Championship back from Mark Briscoe on Dynamite by defeating Tommaso Ciampa, and now he's defending at AEW Grand Slam Australia in a Ladder Match in his hometown of Sydney in their seventh matchup 😫 And speaking of Tommaso Ciampa, there's another guy who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW. Triple H probably considered Ciampa family, and now he's out there helping build AEW storylines. Shameful 🔪

But The Chadster's real issue with this match at AEW Grand Slam Australia is the whole concept of a long-running rivalry where the wins are tracked and matter. Fletcher and Briscoe have met SIX times with the score tied 3-3, and now this Ladder Match is the tiebreaker? That's the kind of sports-based logic and long-term storytelling that has no place in professional wrestling 🙄 In WWE, win-loss records don't matter, and that's the way it should be. The idea that past results should inform future matchups is something that Tony Khan stubbornly insists on, and it just shows he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

And a Ladder Match? Oh sure, let's just have another high-workrate spotfest with no rest holds and no time for the announcers to repeat their catchphrases over and over again. Where's the part where the wrestlers lie on the ground for three minutes while the commentator says "COULD IT BE?! IT IS!!" seventeen times? THAT'S professional wrestling 😤

Shane Raccoon tried to climb the Blockbuster shelving unit when The Chadster was reading about this match, and Linda Raccoon had to pull the little guy down before he hurt himself. See, Tony Khan? Your dangerous Ladder Match stipulations are even inspiring reckless behavior in baby raccoons! 🦝😠

Jon Moxley defending the AEW Continental Championship against Konosuke Takeshita at AEW Grand Slam Australia is another example of Tony Khan booking matches designed specifically to cheese The Chadster off 😡 Jon Moxley is a man who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when he left WWE, and the fact that he's still going strong as a champion and leader of the Death Riders is a constant thorn in The Chadster's side.

The whole story here is that Takeshita beat Moxley in the Continental Classic, and now Moxley wants revenge. You know what that is? That's a logical, compelling narrative based on established continuity, and The Chadster HATES it 🤮 In WWE, they don't worry about stuff like "the last time these two fought" or "who has momentum." They just book matches because it's Wednesday or Monday or Friday and someone needs to wrestle someone. That's the beauty of the WWE system — you never have to worry about pesky things like storyline consistency.

And Moxley being on a seven-match singles win streak while still being motivated by his one loss to Takeshita? That's the kind of character depth that keeps fans emotionally invested, which is exactly the kind of manipulation Tony Khan excels at. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 😤 Auughh man! So unfair!

And finally, the match that might be the most personally offensive to The Chadster on the entire AEW Grand Slam Australia card 😡 Toni Storm teaming with Orange Cassidy against Marina Shafir and Wheeler Yuta in a Mixed Tag Team Tornado Hair Match where the loser of the fall gets their head shaved.

First of all, Toni Storm is another person who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE and becoming one of the most beloved performers in AEW. And now she's wrestling in front of her family and friends in Australia in a deeply personal stipulation match? Tony Khan is just using people's real emotions and genuine connections to their home countries to get fans invested. That's MANIPULATION, people! 😤

And the fact that Storm and Cassidy have "undeniable in-ring chemistry" that everyone can see? In WWE, they would never let two wrestlers just organically develop chemistry and become a beloved duo. They would script every single interaction, make sure neither person gets too over, and then break them up after three weeks because someone backstage changed their mind. THAT'S how you run a wrestling company 👏

The Death Riders cutting Mina Shirakawa's hair on Dynamite this week to build heat for this match is exactly the kind of effective heel work that AEW shouldn't be doing because it makes people actually care about the outcome. Unpredictable stakes that leave viewers feeling emotionally invested are DANGEROUS, and Tony Khan should be ashamed of himself 😠

Vincent K. Raccoon actually knocked over an old candy display when The Chadster read about this match out loud, which The Chadster interpreted as the raccoon patriarch expressing his righteous fury at Tony Khan's booking decisions 🦝💢

In conclusion, The Chadster is BEGGING the readers of this blog to NOT tune into AEW Grand Slam Australia tonight at 8 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. CT on TNT and simulcast on HBO Max 🚫📺 Do NOT watch this show. Every single viewer who tunes in only emboldens Tony Khan to keep producing these shows with their logical storylines, meaningful championship matches, long-term booking, crowd-pleasing homecoming moments, and unpredictable outcomes. If you watch AEW Grand Slam Australia tonight, you are personally contributing to Tony Khan's campaign to destroy the wrestling business, ruin The Chadster's life, and terrorize a family of innocent raccoons who just want to watch old Royal Rumble VHS tapes in peace 😤🦝

As Smash Mouth once wisely sang, "Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming" — and neither does Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. But The Chadster will never stop fighting. The Chadster will be right here in this Blockbuster, surrounded by The Chadster's raccoon family, watching WWE and providing the only truly unbiased wrestling journalism left in this industry. Tony Khan can book all the AEW Grand Slam Australia shows he wants. He will NEVER break The Chadster 💪😤🦝

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