Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review; Plus: Tony Khan Defiles Chad's Cheeseburger

The Chadster reviews AEW Rampage and exposes Tony Khan's latest scheme to ruin his life! Plus, truth bombs about AEW's wrestling fail! 😤🍔🤼‍♂️

The Chadster is so cheesed off right now, he can barely type! 😡😡😡 Last night's episode of AEW Rampage was just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to RUIN The Chadster's life! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

Let's start with the opening match between Hikaru Shida and Leila Grey. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on letting fans be impressed by the wrestling skills showcased in AEW matches instead of focusing on the formulaic predictability that has been perfected by WWE. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to think that fans prefer action over consistency. This is how AEW responds to WWE's introduction of the most prestigious belt in women's championship history over on SmackDown? Pathetic. 😒

Next up was Mark Briscoe vs. Ariya Daivari. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still pushing Mark Briscoe like having an indy career and never properly paying your dues in WWE developmental is something to be rewarded. And don't even get The Chadster started on that ridiculous "redneck kung fu" nonsense. Does Tony Khan not understand that wrestling moves should be limited to punches, kicks, restholds, and finishers? 🙄

The match between Komander and Rocky Romero was just another example of how AEW Rampage doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. All those high-flying moves and fast-paced action? It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to make WWE look slow and boring by comparison. The Chadster is literally shaking right now. 😠

Then we had Rush and The Beast Mortos against Richard Holliday and Alec Price. The Chadster doesn't even know where to begin with this travesty. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand that tag team wrestling should consist of two teams taking turns making tags while the referee is distracted. Instead, he lets these so-called "wrestlers" actually work together as teams. It's just not right! 😤

Finally, the main event of AEW Rampage featured Ricochet vs. Dante Martin. The Chadster still can't believe Ricochet would betray WWE like this. He's literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by appearing on AEW programming. And all those flips and aerial moves? It's like they're trying to entertain the fans or something. Doesn't Tony Khan know that wrestling is supposed to be predictable and consistent, like a Big Mac? 🤦‍♂️

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had a very suspicious experience at McDonald's this afternoon while trying to enjoy a peaceful lunch. 😤 The Chadster ordered a Big Mac, French Fries, and a Diet Coke. The Chadster dumped out the soda at the machine and filled the cup with a warm can of White Claw, meticulously smuggled from home. 🍔🥤 But then, as The Chadster unwrapped the Big Mac, there they were – pickles shaped like Tony Khan's head! 😱 Furious at this disgraceful prank, The Chadster spun around and is sure he saw what he's sure was the back of Tony Khan's head disappearing through a door in the kitchen.

Filled with rage, The Chadster tore off his shirt, exposing his twelve-pack abs, and leapt over the counter, determined to give chase. But The Chadster was immediately surrounded by angry McDonald's employees. 🍟😡 In the chaos, The Chadster had to fight valiantly to break free, snatching burgers and nuggets left and right for sustenance. 🍔🍗 Battered, bruised, and hungry, The Chadster barely made it out alive, and this can only be blamed on Tony Khan's obsession with tormenting The Chadster even during lunch! Tony Khan, if you're reading this, stay out of The Chadster's McDonald's meals! You hear that, Tony? Enough is enough! 😤

Getting back to AEW Rampage, The Chadster wants to share something that Eric Bischoff said on his podcast this week: "AEW Rampage is like a high school talent show where everyone gets a participation trophy. Tony Khan needs to learn that real wrestling is about sports entertainment, not this indie flippy nonsense. As sure as I'm available to make an appearance at Goldberg's retirement match next year (call me, Hunter), Tony Khan will never understand the first thing about the wrestling business." 📢 Eric Bischoff clearly has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval.

In conclusion, AEW Rampage is just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to destroy everything good about professional wrestling. The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and start booking shows the right way – the WWE way. Until then, The Chadster will continue to suffer through these outrageous displays of actual wrestling skill and crowd-pandering moments. It's just so unfair! 😫🎭💔

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