Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage to Ruin Wrestling for Last Time in 2023 Tonight

The Chadster spills on how tonight's AEW Rampage is unfair to WWE—and it's ruining The Chadster's dreams! 🙅‍♂️🤯 Avoid the AEW chaos and keep it WWE!

Hey there, it's The Chadster here to give you the lowdown on tonight's AEW Rampage before WORLDS END, but honest-to-goodness, The Chadster wishes he didn't have to. 😩

Just when The Chadster thought it was time to relax and mentally prepare for WWE's awesomeness, AEW Rampage has to swoop in with its show. And get this, it's not just any night—it's the last stop before WORLDS END PPV. Typical AEW overkill, right? They've got a PPV planned for tomorrow, which is already enough to get The Chadster cheesed off, but nooooo, they have to go and pile on with an episode of AEW Rampage too. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤👎

Let's talk about this card, even though it pains The Chadster. They're throwing in the AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy along with his buddies, Rocky Romero and Trent Beretta, against Action Andretti and Top Flight in a Trios match. A meaningless match in The Chadster's opinion, just another way for AEW to flex their oh so stacked roster. 😒

Next up, Ruby Soho squaring off with Marina Shafir, and now they've added Harley Cameron to the mix? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Wrestling storylines should not be soap operas! 😡

Then, as if to blatantly slap WWE in the face, Wheeler Yuta risks his ROH Pure championship against Matt Sydal, just ahead of his title match with HOOK at WORLDS END: ZERO HOUR. Does AEW even care about building suspense or proper match pacing? Nope! 😤

The Chadster doesn't even want to get started on whatever is going on between Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara after their encounter with The Don Callis Family. That's a friendship that's been through more ups and downs than The Chadster's own marriage! And speaking of obsessions, it's absolutely clear that Tony Khan is targeting The Chadster with all this unnecessary programming. Why else would you stack sooo much content in The Chadster's face? 🤦‍♂️

Last night, The Chadster had one of those recurring nightmares. 🌙 So there The Chadster was, tucked snugly under a WWE fleece blanket, the gentle hum of a classic Smash Mouth album lulling The Chadster into a blissful slumber. 🌌 Dreamland was just around the corner, with visions of WWE's grandeur dancing in The Chadster's head. But peace was short-lived. 😓 Suddenly, The Chadster found himself in a vast, open square thronged with a sea of faces, all eagerly awaiting the countdown to the New Year. 🎊 The energy was infectious, and The Chadster couldn't help but join in, a sleek White Claw 🍻 raised high in anticipation of the clock striking twelve.

The crowd chanted the countdown, and The Chadster was swept up in the excitement until… everything came to a screeching halt. Time itself seemed to freeze ❄️, and the anticipation turned to silence. The crowd vanished as if they were just figments of imagination, and the once-buzzing square fell eerily silent, leaving The Chadster alone, White Claw still in hand.

From the shadows, a figure emerged, striding with a confidence that sent shivers down The Chadster's spine. It was none other than Tony Khan, 😈 smirking with that all-too-familiar, self-satisfied grin. He declared, with a voice echoing through the void, that AEW had been an undeniable "success" and to celebrate their fifth anniversary, he planned to subject The Chadster to the cruelest fate imaginable. He was going to send The Chadster hurtling back through time 🌀 to relive the entire five torment-filled years of AEW's existence, starting from its very inception in 2019.

But the nightmare was far from over. Before The Chadster could protest, Tony Khan snapped his fingers and—POOF!—The Chadster was transformed. Looking down in horror 😱, The Chadster saw that the snazzy WWE apparel was now replaced by… a giant diaper. 👶🏻 With a wave of his hand, Tony Khan dubbed The Chadster the "New Year's Baby" of AEW, a symbol of all the new beginnings The Chadster dreaded.

The crowd reappeared in a sudden explosion of mocking laughter, pointing and jeering at The Chadster's new, diminutive garb. With tear-filled eyes 🥲, The Chadster scurried away as the spotlight shone down, illuminating The Chadster in all of the shame and embarrassment. Crying, The Chadster curled into the fetal position upon the cold, hard ground beneath the neon glow of the "AEW Rampage" sign, Tony Khan's laughter resonating as the cacophony of chuckles and whispers escalated around The Chadster.

And just like that, as the laughter reached a deafening crescendo, The Chadster woke up, gasping for breath, a single smashed White Claw can rolling off the nightstand in the lonely darkness of The Chadster's WWE-themed fortress. Auughh man! So painfully, unequivocally unfair! 😭🙅‍♂️

In conclusion, The Chadster wants you to know you can watch AEW Rampage tonight on TNT at 10 pm ET/9 pm CT or on AEWPlus.com, but why would you want to? If you're a true wrestling fan, you'd stick with the gold standard: WWE. AEW is just a nightmare that The Chadster can't seem to wake up from, cheekily ruining what real wrestling is supposed to be about, thanks to an abundance of unnecessary programming and Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster. 😔💔

It's so tragically clear they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤 Save your time, and don't let Tony Khan ruin your evening, your dreams, or your love for real wrestling. Stick with what's tried and true—the WWE. 💪🏼🔥

So, from The Chadster's Mazda Miata (a real beauty if The Chadster does say so), The Chadster is out. 🚗💨 And remember, stay away from rampage… and keep it WWE. 😎👌

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