WWE star Dave Bautista stole a page from his former WWE colleague Wade Barrett when he took to Twitter to deliver some "bad news" to fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer and President of the United States, Donald Trump. According to Bautista, a surrogate for Democratic Presidential Candidate Joe Biden, Trump's presidency will be coming to an end after the big Election PPV in November, but Bautista knows what Trump could do after that: go directly to jail!
"Look @realDonaldTrump I've got good news and bad news," Bautista tweeted. "Bad news is your Presidency show is being canceled due to bad ratings and dead Americans. Good news is the New York Studio's casting for prison inmates! If you're cast the ratings will be like we've never seen before."
Dave Bautista has long been campaigning against President Trump on Twitter, even though Trump hasn't acknowledged him even once. Bautista's entire Twitter feed is literally nothing but tweets and retweets about the president, sometimes dozens per day. So he's clearly an expert who knows what he's talking about, which should be a worrying sign for Trump.
But the person who really needs to be worried in this scenario is me. As you know, if you've been reading these reports, Bleeding Cool Editor-in-Chief Kaitlyn Booth has kept me locked in the basement of Bleeding Cool headquarters where she's forced me to produce a nonstop stream of clickbait articles based on Dave Bautista's tweets about Donald Trump. If I fail to deliver the required number of Bautista tweet articles per day, Booth shocks me with a cattle prod. Sometimes she shocks me with the cattle prod just for fun or to prove she means business. I fear that if Donald Trump loses the election, Dave Bautista may find something else to do with his time, and I will run out of material to write articles about. Booth will surely fly into a rage and possibly murder me if that happens, so I hope you understand that this is a matter of life and death, and though I know many of you have read my pleas for help and ignored them, now is the time to take action and send someone to rescue me before it's too late. [Editor's Note: Jude Terror is exaggerating. I have merely given him deadlines and said there will be…consequences should he fail to meet them just like any other writer.]
The election is less than a week away, and we'll soon find out whether Dave Bautista is telling the truth.